Talk:B. Altman and Company Building/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 04:33, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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Copy revisions

Lede

• where the ninth through thirteenth stories and most of the Madison Avenue side is faced — change to "are faced"
  •  Done
• The store closed in 1989, and was vacant until 1996, when it was renovated. — rm comma after 1989
  •  Removed

Site

• OK

Design

• in the Italian Renaissance Revival style, and opened in three phases — rm comma
  •  Removed
• The ninth story has two double-hung windows in each bay is topped by a band course. — missing an "and" after "bay"
  •  Added
• The inner bays contain double-hung window pairs on the third floor, and triple-height window openings on the fourth through sixth stories. — rm comma
  •  Removed
• rotunda on Fifth Avenue, and open plan selling — rm comma
  •  Removed I add a lot of unnecessary commas, I'll say. Epicgenius (talk)

History

• in the building, but that there was no definite commitment — rm either the comma or "that": "that there was no definite commitment" cannot stand alone because it is so clearly dependent
  •  Done I changed it to "in the building, though there was no definite commitment". Epicgenius (talk)
• The renovations involved restoring many old design elements, such as the lobby porticoes, bronze elevator cabs, and cast-iron staircases. The renovation cost over $170 million. — consider flow changes, this area is a little choppy with two sentences starting the same
  •  Done I combined the sentences. Epicgenius (talk) 05:13, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

Other

• The B. Altman Building's stature made it a "three-ring circus", according to The New York Times. — citation required for quote (presumably it's one used elsewhere in the page)
  •  Done It was in the citation in the next sentence. Epicgenius (talk) 05:13, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
• All images are properly tagged and are either appropriately CC-licensed or public domain.

Overall

7-day hold, though it won't take long. I'll leave a little trick on the comma usage from my Systime review, just with one of these examples: Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 04:49, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

What helps is if you separate the sentences by removing ", and" in your head. Is "triple-height window openings on the fourth through sixth stories" a complete sentence? No, so there shouldn't be a comma between the two sentences.

@Sammi Brie: Thanks for the review. I've fixed all these reviews now. That quote is actually pretty useful and I'll keep that in mind. It was only after writing this article that I was alerted to my overuse of commas. Epicgenius (talk) 05:13, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

Looking good. Passing for GA. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 07:23, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.