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Talk:Azar Bigdeli/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 16:33, 23 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]


I think this has been waiting at GAN long enough! — GhostRiver 16:33, 23 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

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  • Per MOS:LEADCITE, that he was an anthologist and poet does not need to be cited, as that can be gathered by the rest of the article; the citation by the direct quote, on the other hand, is encouraged to stay
  • I moved the references behind the word "Iranian". Even though Azar's family had settled in Iran long before his birth, and WP:RS overwhelmingly refer to him as an Iranian or Persian, such far-flung Turkic origins are still misconstrued by drive-by POV pushers in order to disrupt such articles. Unfortunately, these are problematic topic areas.
  • Done, should be good now?

Life

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  • Mention and link his birth date in this section so that it can be delinked in the infobox
  • Done.
  • Commas rather than parentheses around "during the last few years of Timur's reign"
  • Done.
  • "In 1722 (the year of his birth)" → "The year he was born", as his full birth date should already have been mentioned
  • Done.
  • "owned property and where he lived for fourteen years" → "owned property, and he lived there for 14 years"
  • Done.
  • Comma after "moved to Shiraz" rather than parentheses around "the provincial capital of Fars"
  • Done.
  • where his arrival coincided with WP:LIMITED violation
  • @GhostRiver: Any suggestions? Found it rather difficult to rephrase.
  • Done.
  • "ascended to the throne"
  • Done.
  • Comma after "and returned to Isfahan"
  • Done.
  • Define the bazgasht-e adabi movement briefly here, you can go into more detail in that later section
  • Any suggestions? Wondering how and where I should insert the info.
  • Comma after "eventually ended up at Kashan"
  • Done.
  • Comma after "Kashan earthquake struck"
  • Done.
@GhostRiver: I rephrased the first two sections a bit (mainly integrated the material about his background). Please do review the prose/changes when you have time. - LouisAragon (talk) 23:27, 29 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Literary career

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Atashkadeh-ye Azar

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  • "and which is considered"
  • Good find, done.
  • Again, considered by whom?
  • Done.
  • "Azar chose to him as to underline" confusing syntax
  • Done.
  • are further divided in terms of geographical divisions, into five, three and three WP:LIMITED
  • Any suggestions?
  • "each one of them starting with a brief description of the region involved" → "and each one begins with a brief description of the involved region"
  • Done.
  • "for some, Azar gave detailed biographies, but for most mentioned in the book, he found two or three lines sufficient," → "while a few received detailed biographies, for the most part, two or three lines were devoted to each poet"
  • Done.
  • although displaying certain weaknesses common to Persian literature of the 18th century close paraphrasing and insufficiently explained – what are these "certain weaknesses"?
  • Unfortunately, I was unable able to find any sources that describe these weaknesses. Rephrased the "although...18th century" material; please let me know what you think.
  • well-written passages POV
  • Attributed. Please let me know what you think of the adjustment.

The bazgasht-e adabi

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  • who rejected the Indian style and sought to revive the idiom of the early poets. Directly copied from source
  • Fixed.
  • disastrous earthquake 1778 Kashan earthquake redundant
  • You mean the duplicate mention of "earthquake"? Removed that.

Other works

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  • Good

References

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  • Per MOS:ALLCAPS, any references rendered in all caps should be changed to title case
  • Done.

General comments

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  • All three photos used are in the public domain
  • Recommend adding a more descriptive caption to the one of Zand, something along the lines of "Azar dedicated the Atashkadeh-ye Azar to Karim Khan Zand"
  • Done.
  • No stability concerns in the revision history
  • Some close paraphrasing noted above but no glaring copyright violations

Putting on hold to allow nominator to address comments. Feel free to ping me with questions, and please let me know when you're finished. — GhostRiver 16:57, 23 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@GhostRiver: All points have been addressed, save for 2-3 inquiries. - LouisAragon (talk) 23:24, 30 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
LouisAragon I have made a couple edits directly into the article. I think the rewrite of his biography negates the need to introduce the literary movement there. Happy to pass. — GhostRiver 23:25, 3 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
GhostRiver Great, thank you for your time! - LouisAragon (talk) 22:05, 7 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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