Talk:Avidius Cassius/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MX (talk · contribs) 05:32, 29 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Review

Doing... Hello. I'll be reviewing this article. My initial observation is that this article is ripe for promotion. I'll go through each section and post here if there are any issues. I'll also be checking the sources to see if they are reliable. If possible, I'll go into them to see if the text is supported correctly. Stay put! MX (✉ • ✎) 05:32, 29 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

town of Cyrrhus in Syria – "town of Cyrrhus, Syria"? Or is that a format not commonly used for this country?
Done

Early career

It is believed that Cassius – I would suggest you to word this differently. I'm worried it might be considered WP:WEASEL.

Done

of the Tigris river, Seleucia, which was on the right bank, and Ctesiphon, which was on the left bank, and was the Parthian capital – What do you think of changing the sentence to this format, "... of the Tigris river: Seleucia, which was on the right bank; and Ctesiphon, which was on the left bank and was the Parthian capital". Otherwise, the sentence is too long and might become a run-on.

Done

he burnt the palace of Vologases. – Spell out to "Vologases IV", per its article.

Done

Cassius' legion was by this time in dire need of supplies, and showing the first signs of having contracted the plague, and thus Cassius marched back to Syria, carrying with him the spoils taken from his campaign. – Rephrase to: "Cassius' legion was by this time in dire need of supplies. After showing the first signs of having contracted the plague, Cassius marched back to Syria, carrying with him the spoils taken from his campaign." Or something similar, just make sure the two and's aren't there.

Done

During this time, a rumor, which was quite false – What does "quite false" mean? Just curious. Was the rumor entirely false or just partially?

Done

Cassius had led Legio III Gallica across the Indus River. – Why is Legio III Galicia in italics before but not here? My guess is italics aren't necessary but I'll leave it up to you. Just make sure we stay consistent.

Done

The Bucoli came close to capturing – I've found other sources that name them Bucolic and/or Boukoloi. Are they the same? Maybe we can add a footnote for it.

Done

Cassius succeeded in putting down this revolt in 172 AD – Another source I found says it was suppressed by him in 175 AD. Seems like 172 might have been the start of the revolt, per Birley.

Done

Avidius Cassius declared himself emperor – remove first name.
Done

Usurpation

became wide spread throughout his camp – fix to "widespread".

Done

as the record given by Cassius Dio is believed to be a free composition – remove link of Cassius Dio per WP:OVERLINK.

Done

before the Senate and the army, and would have yielded the empire to Cassius, if the senate and army believed him the better leader – Capitalization for Senate and Army? I'm not really sure.

Done

if the senate and army believed him the better leader – "considered" instead of "believed"

Done

He is also recorded as saying – "was" instead of "is"

Done

Aftermath

called Halala, which was renamed Faustinopolis in her honor, and his son, Commodus. – "... called Halala. The town was renamed in her honor, and his son, Commodus."
Done

Ancestry

Question – How do Ancestry sections usually work as far as citing them? This section is unsourced, but I also understand that adding references would clog the entire section. Is there a single source that has the entire ancestry? That can help.
I have removed the entire section since I could not find a citation for it. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 22:15, 3 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Personal life

Cassius Dio speaks highly of Cassius – remove first name of Dio; also change to "spoke".

Done

saying that he was a good man – is "good man" a direct quote? I'd be nice to have a different quote here. Not sure if the word "good" is appropriate for this article (or encyclopedia) unless we are quoting the author.
Yes, "good man" is direct; I've put it in quotes to show that. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 22:17, 3 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

was given his post of Praefectus augustalis due only to his speaking abilities – "...was given his post of Praefectus augustalis only because to his speaking abilities".

Done

during his time as commander of Legio III Gallica – remove the link with Legio III Gallica.

Done

(the Historia Augusta implies he may have had more – remove link and italicize, per your previous mention of this.

Done

Bibliography

Potter, David (2009). A Companion to the Roman Empire. Wiley-Blackwell. ISBN 9781405199186. – Noticed that Potter talks about Avidius Cassius in page 139. You cite page 15 for multiple claims, and page 139 for other stuff. Did you confuse the sources and meant to use page 15 from another book? Index shows that the only mention of Cassius in this book is from page 139.
The link here has 15 talk about his father. Not sure why your version of it does not. -- Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 22:21, 3 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@MX: I believe I have addressed all issues you have raised. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 22:21, 3 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Article passes. MX (✉ • ✎) 02:45, 4 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]