Talk:Aura (song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 06:24, 23 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

which Gaga decided to make the basis of the track. → which the singer decided to implement the basis of in "Aura".
- Don't think this is an improvement, I have implemented it in another way. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 09:38, 26 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Lyrically it → comma before "it"
Link "Critics" to music journalism
being used in the song → state "track" here for alternation
in which Gaga co-stars → use "the singer "here for alternation

Infobox

flawless ;)

Background and development

Development of Lady Gaga's third studio album → no full names here
of her second one → of her second record
As Gaga embarked → state "the singer" here to avoid word repetition
DJ Zedd → disc jockey
The song was also inferred → use "track" for word alternation here
with the actual version present in the album → insert "being" before "present"
Israeli weekly newspaper, B'Sheva, → remove first comma
Gaga had come to Zedd's studio → Gaga reportedly had to come to Zedd's studio
on some music → remove "some" as it's unencyclopedic here
She fell in love with one of the → unencyclopedic; She liked one of the
from the royalties off the song. → word rep., alternate here with "recording"
However, Gaga was against it → state "the singer" here for alternation
facets of the singer. → use a comma here as a quote follows
- Not neccessarily, when its a blockquote and disjoined from the normal flow of text, we should end the sentence and then start the block. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 09:38, 26 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]
For the quote fix all the (...) to [...], please
create a lyric video for the song → alternate here with "track"

Recording and composition

After recording started, Zedd was not happy with the initial outcome of the songs and so he suggested Gaga → After recording commenced, Zedd was not pleased with the initial outcome of the songs, thus suggesting Gaga
recording the songs with Zedd → recording the tracks with him
credit by Gaga, Zedd → credit to Gaga, Zedd
Zedd did the mixing → Zedd handled the mixing
Assisting with the whole process was Ryan Shanahan and Jesse Taub. → Ryan Shanahan and Jesse Taub assisted to the whole process.
Gene Grimaldi did the audio mastering → "did" is not needed here
- Are you sure? The sentence would be without the second verb. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 09:38, 26 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]
with the electronic beats → remove "the"
uttering the first lines "I killed my → add comma after "first lines"
A big sounding EDM production then follows suit, the beats reminiscent → A big-sounding EDM production the follows suit, incorporating beats reminiscent
As the song reaches a crescendo → alternate here with "track"
behind the aura?" with sparse backing → behind the aura?", with a sparse backing
and the song follows a basic → alternate here with "recording" as you've used "song" already before
sexualizes it with the line "Do you wanna → set comma after "the line"
of the word burqa are → of the word "burqa" are
when she sings "Enigma → set comma after "she sings"
Ultimately "Aura" was a statement song, about solidarity → Ultimately, "Aura" is a statement song, which delves on solidarity
developing a similar named → developing a similarly named

Critical reception

Link critics to music journalism
from Billboard believed the song → alternate here with "track"
called "Aura" as the singer's → called "Aura" the singer's
from Clash who wrote: → from Clash, who wrote,
was disappointed in the track → was disappointed with the track
Mark Hogan from Spin called the song → state "recording" here for alternation

Live performances

suit with a black scarf and a knife that wrote "HOLLYWOOD", → suit with a black scarf alongside a knife that read "HOLLYWOOD",
demo. (...) she belted → (...) to [...]
believed that Gaga had lip-synced → state "the singer" here for alternation
The singer dressed in a clown-like white mask → The singer was dressed in a clown-like white mask
white-and-black buoy like → white-and-black buoy-like
announcing "I've been having → set comma after "announcing"

Credits and personnel

Unlink Lady Gaga and Artpop here

Charts

flawless ;)

Other stuff

Copy-violation

44.1% is slightly too much! Please look for the first source at the top of the list and reduce the content from it in the article's body
- The 44.1% comes from this link. Now I was reading through WP:PLAGIARISM and in the section for "Respecting copyright" it is mentioned "Limited amounts of text can be quoted or closely paraphrased from nonfree sources if such text is clearly indicated in the article as being the words of someone else; this can be accomplished by providing an in-text attribution, and quotation marks or block quotations as appropriate, followed by an inline citation". So we can use blockquotes with attribution to the author and source. And although Earwig will be listing them as possible copyvio, one should check if its not properly attributed and then call it as WP:COPYVIO. I don't think this case will particularly pass off as COPYVIO. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 09:38, 26 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Images and others

Images perfectly illustrate the article

Links

No problem here!

References

Please avoid WP:SHOUTING in several refs!!
As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article.
No dead links! Good job!
- Regarding shouting, I hope you read my response in the "Venus" review page about stylization. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 09:38, 26 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Outcome

On hold for 7 days! Good luck, Cartoon network freak (talk) 13:28, 25 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- @Cartoon network freak: please see my explanation for certain points, especially the one for COPYVIO. If its fine we can proceed. :) —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 09:38, 26 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  - Gladly passing! It's ok with the COPYVIO thing now! Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 10:32, 26 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.