Talk:Assignment: Venezuela/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 13:13, 21 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

"It was produced by Sound Masters, Inc. for the Creole Petroleum Corporation (part of the Standard Oil Company of New Jersey) and directed by John H. "Jack" Tobin." - this needs to be mentioned in the production section
"It is part of the Prelinger Archives and available in the public domain.[2]" - this sentence and its acconymping citation should be copied into the Production section
References should really be avoided in the lead if they are no quotes per MOS:CITELEAD

"Jim is a middle-level oil engineer who is being relocated to Lake Maracaibo, Venezuela, with his family; wife Ann and two sons." - what was the reason given?
"Jim is taken on a tour of Maracaibo, Caracas, and Lagunillas to familiarize him with the new country, shown as positive;" - think the text in bold can be reworded to make sense or deleted if it does not add anything to the article
"all having learnt Spanish already." - beforehand.

Made these changes, besides the first I'm not sure a reason is given, but when I get a device with a speaker I'll replay the film to see. Kingsif (talk) 17:23, 21 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"The film is color" - is in color
"The film is color and 24 minutes in length." - this needs a referenced to verify that this is correct

I have let it run into the Prelinger sentence, and as the film is at that source, the details are mentioned there. Of course, the entire film is included as media in the article, so it's not hard to verify. Kingsif (talk) 17:22, 21 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"The film was produced in the context of the Marcos Pérez Jiménez military dictatorship," - try to reword this sentence to avoid a MOS:SEAOFBLUE violation
"with scholar Lisa Blackmore describing the propaganda and national image of that time having distinct dual purposes:" - as having
Delink Americans per MOS:OVERLINK
"Tinker also suggests that anything learnt from the lessons and film were quickly forgotten," - what lessons?
Briefly explain who Erin Giannini to the uninformed

Done three of these: I've left the link to United States on 'Americans' - Venezuelans, Colombians, etc. are technically Americans, and the US has no better demonym, so the disambiguation is necessary - and I've haven't added anything about lessons - they are described in the sentence before, I don't think a reader will have forgotten that quickly. Kingsif (talk) 17:29, 21 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done except 'distinctly' - in this instance, it's not a synonym and would be incorrect. (It's clearly ;) in the sense of transparent, not distinct) Kingsif (talk) 17:35, 21 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Note that ref 2 is now 7 and ref 7 is now 6, I think. ~~Fixing this.~~ Kingsif (talk) 17:38, 21 May 2020 (UTC) Done for these and the other Archive link. Kingsif (talk) 17:50, 21 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Will put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address/query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 16:53, 21 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: A few things I haven't done, and given reasons. Rest should be good :) Thanks for taking up this (and the other one!) Kingsif (talk) 17:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]