Talk:Ashton Court/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 08:19, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

O-kay then..........Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 08:19, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Overall, an engaging read and definitely within striking distance of GA - will jot some quibbles....

~~Actually we don't have a location segment in the body of the text...and in hte lead, maybe how many km west of Bristol is it~~

This is complicated as it is a large estate, part of which is within the city and mostly in N. Somerset. The house is approx 1.5 km from the city centre but less than 0.5km from the city boundary (ie the River Avon, Bristol).— Rod ^talk 11:32, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Okay - but none of this is in the article - remember I am unfamiliar with the subject and it sorta leaves me scratching my head. I wonder whether renaming the Estate section Location and surrounds and inserting where it is in relation to Bristol as well as what surrounds it (fields? suburbia? etc.)

I've had another go at this and included some of the other info discussed below.— Rod ^talk 13:16, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Yep. Nice. that is very helpful. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 19:39, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

~~From the 16th to 20th centuries it was owned by the Smyth family with each generation improving and changing the house.~~ - hmmm, not sure I like "improving" which carries a subjective tone to it - maybe "rebuilding", "renovating", "enlarging" or something more neutral? There is another instance of the verb further along too.

First one removed "changed" says enough, second one changed to expanded as he was able to enlarge the estate.— Rod ^talk 11:18, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

~~Thomas De Lions~~ ~~-can we give this person any descriptors to give a picture of who/what he is? ("local nobleman/knight/baron.."?)~~

Limited info available but I have added "a nobleman originally from France" is that enough?— Rod ^talk 11:18, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

That's fine.Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:06, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

''he house was owned by the Choke family for some time and after that in 1506 it was sold to Sir Giles Daubeney who was a knight and a Chamberlain of Henry VII. - the middle and latter bit of this is a bit runny - do we have a rough idea of how long the Choke family owned it (to the nearest century maybe?) - and a comma and ,"after which" is a cleaner connector than the run-on and. Also a comma before "who" or (better) replace the "who" with an mdash.

Re Choke family I don't think we can do centuries as it was likely no more than 100 years, but details seem to be "lost in the mists of time". Full stop and comma added.— Rod ^talk 11:18, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Fair enough Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:22, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

~~:In the Sir Greville and Lady Emily Smyth section, you have the first and third sentences covering some of the same material - it'd be great if you could meld these into one sentence somehow.~~

A bit of first sentence removed.— Rod ^talk 11:18, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

~~Sir Greville Smyth inherited the property.~~ ~~- "inherited" is mentioned twice in sentences close together. Some way of melding these would be good too.....~~

See above.— Rod ^talk 11:18, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

~~As I love gardens, any information on Sir Greville's gardens would be great - especially as they were highly esteemed...~~

I will go back to some of the sources and look again.— Rod ^talk 11:18, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I've looked again in Bond "Somerset Parks and Gardens", but doesn't have any further detail. Greville Smyth Park was originally part of the estate & is named after him. This says it was given to the city, but I don't think it is the same area of the estate described in the article.— Rod ^talk 11:43, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

aaawww Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:22, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

~~the Bristol Mercury~~ ~~- italics?~~

Done.— Rod ^talk 11:18, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

~~link some terms I am not hugely familiar with - pediment, mullioned, ogee (wiktionary can be useful for some if they are a simple dicdef)~~

We have articles on all these so wikilinked.— Rod ^talk 11:18, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

~~The Recent history section is a tad choppy - a little more info or melding of paras would make it flow better.~~

I've taken out some of the breaks between paras. Is something else needed?— Rod ^talk 11:18, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

~~In 1946, the last resident of Ashton Court Dame Esme Smyth, died.~~ ~~- be good if we could find some detail....was it just old age?~~

I can't find a cause of death (or date of birth)

~~I think I'd remove the subheadings from the Estate section as they are tiny and break the prose a bit. Any details on the rare beetles?~~

Subheads removed. I've added 3 specieis names from the SSSI sheet, but I don't know much about beetles.— Rod ^talk 11:18, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Are there still deer in the deer park?

Yes in 2 separate areas.— Rod ^talk 11:18, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Make sure there are inline refs at the ends of paras.

I think these are all addressed now with the exception of the observation about the castellations in the architecture section. I have discussed this with User:Giano who wrote the architecture section and is much more expert in this area. He suggests that this is clear from the observation of the building. Does this have to be removed?— Rod ^talk 21:23, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Yeeah..ok, works for me....hang on while I find some templates (ruffles around in template suitcase.......) Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:29, 27 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Nice engaging read overall. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 09:59, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

1. Well written?:

Prose quality: