Talk:Asafo Aumua/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 23:36, 31 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Hi Kidsoljah! If you are still interested in this, I will review it. I usually start out with a quick copyedit and then go from there. I will add my comments below and then notify you when I have completed my review. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:36, 31 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Copyedit

Here are my copyedits. If you disagree with any of the changes, please let me know. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:43, 31 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Prose & MOS

Please explain what XV in the first paragraph of the lead. Either use the {{Abbr}} template or expand it.
Link Try in the first use in the lead and the first use in the body of the article.
"Other than hooker, he played second five-eighth, prop, and number 8 at first XV level." - I would reword to something like "He primarily player hooker, but also played second five-eighth, prop, and number 8 at first XV level" since its the first time you mention playing hooker outside of the lead.
Clarify what "try of the match" means.
"World Rugby Under 20 Championships in Manchester, June 2016" - add "in" between "Manchester" and "June 2016"
Clarify what the term "decider" means.
Link hat-trick to Hat-trick#Rugby_football in the first use.
Clarify who the "unions" are in the sentence "Representing the unions under-19 team in Taupo" - its the first time you use the team name. Should it be capitalized?
"and was subsequently renamed in the squad" - add "he" after "and"
"His scoring ability became noticed after" - reword to "His scoring ability was noted after"
Use the {{convert}} template for 60-meter (to yards).
"Aumua was surprisingly called up" - remove "surprisingly" as it is a WP:WEASEL word.
Link Test match (rugby league) in its first use
"Aumua's rehabilitation period was scheduled to be 12 weeks." - this is probably too much info for now, per WP:WEIGHT « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:29, 1 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Images

No images used. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:29, 1 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

References

Reference 4 needs to include the author, Liam Hyslop
Reference 5 needs to include the author, Hamish Bidwell
Reference 6 needs to include the author, Adam Julian
Reference 7 needs to include the authors, Adam Julian & Steven White
Reference 8 needs to include the authors, Adam Julian & Steven White
Reference 10 needs to include the author, Nic Darvineza
Reference 12 needs to include the author, admin_hland
Reference 13 needs to include the author, Campbell Burnes
Please just check the rest of the references to see if an author is listed and include it in the citation
All the rest of the references look good and are reliable « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:29, 1 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Overall

Since this article is on a current player, please be careful as his career progresses to not give WP:UNDUE weight to current events. Some of the info in the professional summary section is borderline too much info. It's not a problem now, but may be in a few years.
Overall a very solid article, just the items noted above. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:29, 1 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Hi there, Gonzo fan2007. Thank you for your review, I've completed your list below to the best I can. Hope to hear your response soon. Cheers Kidsoljah (talk) 08:57, 3 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Kidsoljah. Everything looks good except some references still need the author. #15, 16, 17, 26 and 28. Reference 23 needs |agency = [[Associated Press]]. Let me know when you make those changes and everything else should be good to go. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:09, 3 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Gonzo fan2007 all done. Let me know if there's anthing. Kidsoljah (talk) 02:58, 5 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Everything looks good. Passed! « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 04:13, 5 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]