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GA Review

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Reviewer: MathewTownsend (talk · contribs) 15:47, 11 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Will review soon! MathewTownsend (talk) 15:47, 11 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Mathew, thanks a lot for taking up the review. I have made minor corrections and will start incorporating the review comments soon you give them. Ssriram mt (talk) 02:29, 12 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Sri Ram, I have polished up the article a bit. Hopefully was helpful. Ramwithaxe (talk) 16:00, 9 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It was - thanks a lot.
No problem. Ramwithaxe talk 10:58, 10 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you sir! We realize it's busy for everyone around the holidays. Ramwithaxe (talk) 16:26, 9 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Although I am not the primary author, I wanted to help out and have copy/edited a bit this morning. Look forward to your response! Ramwithaxe (talk) 18:03, 9 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks a lot. Ssriram mt (talk) 02:33, 10 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • There seems to be active editing of the page today. I have some comments to make, but I'm hesitant to do so while all the editing is going on. I will make some suggestions though:
 Done. I have added the worship part.
  • The lead should follow WP:LEAD and be a summary of the article, covering all major points in proportion to their coverage in the article.
 Done - expanded the lead.
e.g. there's too much discussion of the "lingam" scattered throughout the lead (should condense the discussion of it together).
 Done - consolidated references to lingam . :) Ramwithaxe talk 11:34, 10 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • There are two links that need disambiguation:
British
French
 Done - contribs from Chantoke.

MathewTownsend (talk) 19:52, 9 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

 Done - this seems to be a temporary issue, i have replaced with alternate sources. Ssriram mt (talk) 02:33, 10 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In Hindu mythology, Parvati, wife of Shiva, once closed the eyes of her husband playfully in a flower garden at their abode atop Mount Kailash. Although only a moment for the gods, all light was taken from the universe, and the earth, in turn, was submerged in darkness for years." Are these your own words or the words of the source? MathewTownsend (talk) 17:35, 12 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
My words. Would you like me to rephrase? Ramwithaxe talk 20:46, 12 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
No, just asking. I can't check the sources and the wording is quite poetic! MathewTownsend (talk) 21:04, 12 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you! Please advise if any other suggestions and thanks again for coming out of semi-retirement to look at the article. Ramwithaxe talk 21:36, 12 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
some notes
  • "Shiva then cursed Brahma to never have temples on earth in his worship." - could this be reworded?
 Done Reworded. Ramwithaxe talk 22:56, 12 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "During the 17th century CE, the temple came under the dominion of the Nawab of the Carnatic, with confusion and chaos after 1753." - are there some missing words here?
 Done Filled in. Ramwithaxe talk 22:56, 12 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Muraru Raya, Krishna Raya, Mrithis Ali Khan, Burkat Ullakhan, French Soupries and Sambrinet and the English Captain Stephen Smith alternately besieged Tiruvannamalai, and while some were repelled, others were victorious." - do all these people need to be mentioned, or can they be summarized?
 Done reworded. (Sri rama: I did not delete any info per se, and left that to your discretion.) Ramwithaxe talk 22:48, 12 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • The first paragraph under "Architecture" - should it be moved to "History" as it's not about the architecture?
 Done Moved section. Ramwithaxe talk 22:56, 12 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - replaced.
  • And ref 13 doesn't seem to have any information. In any event, you don't need to have a citation for every sentence, especially when it's the same one.
 Done - added a caveat.
The link points to district website, which has a sub page of the temple, which doesnt have an exclusive site reference.
  • Is all that description needed for the inscriptions, or is it too much detail for the average reader?
 Done - expanded.

(will continue) MathewTownsend (talk) 22:04, 12 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

(continued)

  • "Girivalam, a practice carried out by one million pilgrims yearly" - all at that site?
yes.
  • "Inscriptions indicate that the festival was celebrated during the Chola period, and was expanded to ten days in the twentieth century." - how many days in Chola period? (also is this sentence needed? What about the other periods? Why is the Chola period singled out?)
 Done I have reworded it - the sentence is added to show the historical importance of the festival.
  • should it be "Annamalai hills"? Or Annamalai hill? or the Annamalai Hill? (I'm confused - I contributed to the mix up by my editing! - settle on one way to refer to it and be consistent throughout the article. I've noticed different articles and different sources use various wordings!) MathewTownsend (talk) 20:47, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
 Done I have stream lined it to "Annamalai hills". Ssriram mt (talk) 23:32, 28 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

(continued - just a few more comments)

  • "The French occupied the town in 1757, and it came under control of the British in 1760.[14] In 1790 CE, it was captured by Tippu Sultan, who ruled from 1750–99 CE.[6] During the first half of the 19th century, it came under British rule.[14] More recently, it has been maintained by the Hindu Religious and Endowment Board (HR &CE) of the Government of Tamil Nadu.[13]"
some "it"s seem to refer to the town, and others to the temple. e.g. is the whole town maintained by the Hindu Religious and Endowment Board? Could you clarify?

 Done - explicitly mentioned the details. I have reworded some confusing parts.

also, what is (HR &CE)?

 Done - it is Hindu Religious and Endowment Board - have expanded it in the later part.

  • The article seems to lose focus a little with so much mention of the saints and poets
e.g. in the lead "The presiding deity is revered in the 7th century Tamil Saiva canonical work, the Tevaram, written by Tamil saint poets known as the nayanars and classified as Paadal Petra Sthalam." - this doesn't seem specific to this temple
The section "Saints and literary mention" seems too long, and the long quote plus translation again doesn't seem specific to this temple. Suggest eliminating the general explanations and quotes. Perhaps the rest, starting with "Manickavasagar, a 9th century Tamil saint and poet, revered Annamalaiyar in his writing, describing the deity as "AnnAmalai".[44] He composed the Thiruvempavai in the Tamil month of Margazhi at the temple" is ok.

 Done - removed the quotes. Also, just noted that revered and referred are wrongly used.

The problem is that all these names etc. become confusing to the general reader, like me. It would be helpful if the article focused more directly on the temple and the history and literature specific to it.  Done - rephrased.

Otherwise the article is very well done. Some of the sources are not the best (district web sites, etc.) but are ok for GA, I think.  Done - replaced district website links.Ssriram mt (talk) 23:41, 31 December 2012 (UTC) Best wishes, MathewTownsend (talk) 15:58, 31 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The reviewer was indefinitely blocked, but I am going to pass the article per [1]. --Rschen7754 23:31, 1 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Woo hoo it passed! Ramwithaxe 02:28, 2 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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