Talk:Arthur Bell (footballer)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sarastro1 (talk · contribs) 22:48, 10 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

This looks a very solid article. Just a few minor points and I think an easy pass.

"amateur local-league football": Would amateur not be enough?
"left inside forward": Link?
I assume William Jackson was a rival for his position?
"consolation goal": Not quite encyclopaedic.
"Bell played eleven league matches": Should be 11 matches per MOSNUM (although if you have used the word to match "four goals" at the end of the sentence, it could probably stay).
"In that match, brothers Jack and David Walders played together, the first time Burnley had fielded brothers in a Football League fixture.": Interesting, but I'm not sure it is relevant to Bell.
"Harold Hardman, who was also a professional architect" To make the significance clear for people like me who forgot that Bell was an architect, maybe say "who, like Bell, was a professional architect."?
"netted a brace": Jargon. Best to avoid "netted" altogether. Ditto brace.
"he netted a consolation": Jargon.
and retired from football shortly afterwards": Although I know the answer is "no", do we know why?
"A left-handed batsman who often batted in the middle order": His batting position is not really supported by the reference. As it stands, you may be better calling him just a left-handed batsman. Unless you want to create a note and list a few scorecard refs in there to support it; two possible ways are to look at note 2 on Herbie Hewett or ref 34 on Wally Hammond. If you can be bothered!
You also need a ref for the 2nd XI matches for Lancs apart from against Staffordshire. Either ref the scorecards, or the other way (which I use as it gives scores, etc) is to use this page for your reference.
No images (I imagine there aren't any available) and links, dablinks fine.
Online refs check out, I was unable to check the book ref.
As the Simpson book is referred to several times, I would suggest a "Bibliography" section (or whatever you prefer to call it) and place the book in there instead of in ref 3.
It would be nice to know more about him, but I imagine little or nothing exists.

I will pass once these issues are discussed or cleared up. --Sarastro1 (talk) 22:54, 10 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, replies below:

changed to just "amateur football"
linked inside forward
noted that Jackson was also an inside forward
removed "consolation" throughout
I wrote "eleven" to match the "four" but I could change them to "11" and "4" if you prefer
True, think I just got carried away with the trivia of it
added "like Bell"
I used "netted" to avoid repeated use of "scored", but agree that it is perhaps unencyclopaedic. Changed "netted a brace" to "scored twice"
Added a note from the Simpson book for his retirement reasons
Just called him a left-handed batsman
Added the Player Oracle reference
There is an image of Bell in The Clarets Chronicles but I assume it's copyrighted and I have no means of scanning it anyway
Moved Simpson book to a new Bibliography section

Just let me know if you find anything else that needs fixing. Cheers, Big Dom 13:48, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Everything looks fine, passing now. --Sarastro1 (talk) 18:38, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]