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Talk:Arrival (film)/GA1

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Reviewer: Cavie78 (talk · contribs) 21:06, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Lead

  • "and its exploration of communicating with extraterrestrial intelligence" -> "and its exploration of communication with extraterrestrial intelligence"
  • I'm not sure there's anything particularly controversial in the lead that requires citations, but if you chose to leave them in, source 4 should appear after a mark of punctuation.
 Done all. Rusted AutoParts 00:55, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Plot

  • "hey both begin researching" You've just mnentioned the two aliens, so you should clarify that you mean Banks and Donnelly here
 Done Rusted AutoParts 00:55, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "one of the aliens ejects Donnelly and Banks, knocking them unconscious" Could you clarify what you mean here? Into the armosphere? How do they survive?
 Done Rusted AutoParts 00:55, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "present throughout the message, and that the writing occupies exactly one twelfth of the 3D space in which it is projected" Is this the "extremely complex" message from earlier? The message is projected?
I believe the projected description refers to the space the message exists in, not that the message is projected. Rusted AutoParts 21:28, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Abbott is dying from the explosion" -> "Abbott is dying as a result of the explosion"
 Done Rusted AutoParts 00:55, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Development and pre-production

  • "Eric Heisserer had been introduced to the story through another of Chiang's stories" -> "Screenwriter Eric Heisserer had been introduced to the story through another of Chiang's stories"
  • "and had begun reading through Chiang's collected works when "Story of Your Life" emotionally rocked him and drove him to getting the story to film to share with a wider audience" This could be worded better. Suggest -> "and had begun reading through Chiang's collected works when "Story of Your Life" had a "profound emotional effect" on him.[add cite due to quote] As a result, he decided to try and adapt the story into a film script as he wanted to share it with a wider audience
  • "After writing an initial script, it took several years of trying to pitch it for production before anyone would show interest, and he nearly had given up on the idea" Could also be worded better. Suggest -> "After writing an initial script, Heisserer pitched it to production companies for several years without receiving any interst and nearly gave up on the project"
  • "Eventually, Dan Levine and Dan Cohen of 21 Laps Entertainment expressed interest in Heisserer's script"
  • "One of those that 21 Laps approached" -> "One of the directors that 21 Laps approached"
  • "Villeneuve changed the title, as he felt the original title sounded"
  • "Heisserer had made several adaptions from "Story of Your Life" in his original screenplays and into the final script, the largest being that" "Adaptions"? I assume you mean adaptations, but I think "changes" would be better -> "Heisserer had made several changes from "Story of Your Life" between writing his original screenplays and the final script, the main one being that"
  • "helped to drive tension and conflict needed for a film" -> "helped to create the tension and conflict needed for a film"
  • "to prepare for the film" -> "to prepare for her role" (to avoid repetition of "film"
 Done all Rusted AutoParts 20:59, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Filming

  • "The team took some time to find the right site to represent the landing" What landing? Clarify
  • "Most of the filming that did not involve the exterior of a ship was done indoors on stages" Can you clarify what you mean here? Are you specifically talking about the alien ship that appeared over the US? Do you mean a [[Sound stage]?
  • "Cinematographer Bradford Young was sought out by Villeneuve as he was looking for a cinematographer" No need to use cinematographer twice. Either remove the first one, or swap the second for "someone"
  • "state of mind at a given time" -> "state of mind at a given moment" (avoid repetition of "time")
 Done all Rusted AutoParts 21:02, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Visual effects

  • "big influence on the look of the film was from the works of artist James Turrell"
 Done Rusted AutoParts 16:04, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "particularly for the look of the meeting room" -> "particularly the design of the meeting room"
 Done Rusted AutoParts 21:09, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and stated the biggest challenge for them was the sequence of Louise and Ian first entering the alien craft" -> "and stated that the biggest challenge for them was the sequence in which Louise and Ian first enter the alien craft"
 Done all Rusted AutoParts 21:09, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Linguistics

  • "Both the book and the screenwriting required the invention of a form of alien linguistics" This sounds a little odd - how do they differ?
I don't think the sentence is making a distinction of difference, just that it required inventing a non existent set of linguistics. Rusted AutoParts 21:09, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the protagonist's workplaces" The aliens? The scientists?
 Done Rusted AutoParts 16:05, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Heisserer said at the Alamo Drafthouse's Fantastic Fest premiere at the end of September 2016" -> "Heisserer said at the Alamo Drafthouse's Fantastic Fest premiere of Arrival at the end of September 2016"?
 Done Rusted AutoParts 21:09, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Music

  • Ok

Release

  • "acquired Australian distribution rights, as well as other distributors like Spentzos Films for Greece" -> "acquired Australian distribution rights. Spentzos Films acquired distribution rights for Greece"
 Done Rusted AutoParts 21:15, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Home media

  • Ok

Box office

  • Following receiving its eight Oscar nominations
 Done Rusted AutoParts 21:15, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Critical response

  • "on 52 critics" -> "on 52 reviews"
 Done Rusted AutoParts 21:15, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "yet unfolds in an unwavering tenor of chest-tightening excitement." -> "yet [it] unfolds in an unwavering tenor of chest-tightening excitement."
 Done Rusted AutoParts 21:15, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Forrest Wickman of Slate was more mixed on the film" -> "Forrest Wickman of Slate had a more mixed opinion of the film"
 Done Rusted AutoParts 21:15, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "but often comparing it to Christopher Nolan's Interstellar in an unfavourable way" I'm not sure this is true. Wickman says "And like Interstellar, Arrival is only intermittently stellar" and "it is strange in just about all the ways that Interstellar is", which is to say it's the same rather than worse?
I do feel it is a fairly unfavourable comparison giving the mixed opinion he had of the film, and making his Interstellar comparison it's in essence a slight to Arrival. Rusted AutoParts 21:15, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"comparing it to Christopher Nolan's Interstellar in an unfavourable way" suggests that he thinks Interstellar is a better film, but that isn't what he's saying - he says they're similar and both are only ok Cavie78 (talk) 08:15, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Does this work? "but often making similar criticisms he made towards Interstellar"? Rusted AutoParts 16:13, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and was critical" -> "and also being critical"
 Done Rusted AutoParts 21:15, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Response from linguistic experts

  • "had a favourable view of the accuracy of the linguistics in Arrival,"

"" Done Rusted AutoParts 21:20, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • "the film skipped the realistic build from easier words to more abstract ones" Clarify what you mean here
Would this work? "She also commented on feeling the film skipped the progression of simplistic phrases to more abstract sentences" Rusted AutoParts 21:20, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I think you're trying to say "She also felt the film oversimplified the process of translating the aliens' language, skipping straight from Banks establishing the basic vocabulary of the language, to her being able to understand abstract concepts such as "weapon"."?
I have put it that way. Rusted AutoParts 19:05, 31 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Analogies with Mahayana Buddhism

  • "similarly to the bodhisattva's teachings" -> "similar to the bodhisattva's teachings"
 Done Rusted AutoParts 21:23, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "opens to a non-dualistic understanding of life and death and liberates from fear" Not sure what you mean here by "opens"
Would "show" in place of "opens" work? Rusted AutoParts 21:23, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • There is far too much from this section that is lifted wholesale from the journal article. Although quotes are used for "deeper, more sophisticated understanding of reality" the rest of the section, including the Thich Nhat Hanh are directly from the article. What are the quotes for? It seems odd to have such lengthy quotes in the middle of this section, especially when they are really quotes within quotes
Are you looking for the quote to be removed from the page? Just asking for clarification on what is being sought done here. Rusted AutoParts 21:28, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
My point is that large parts of this section simply repeat chunks of the journal article. You should synthesise the meaning of the article rather than repeating chunks verbatim. It reads a bit to me like whoever added the content didn't really understand the journal article. If, for example, you feel that the journal article says the film's plot is entirely consistent with a central tenant of Buddhism, then you *may* want to repeat that tenant, otherwise not so much. Having thought about it a bit more though, undue prominence seems to be given to this theory. It might be better to scrap this section, which relies on a single journal article, and merely mention it in Critical Response Cavie78 (talk) 08:15, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@MapReader: would you have any ideas on how to integrate this section into Critical Response? Rusted AutoParts 19:31, 31 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Having looked at the linked article, the argumentation seems somewhat thin, and I don’t see a case for retaining this separate section. The plot point that the “flashbacks” turn out to be “flashforwards” is already covered elsewhere in the article. While the citation suggests that this has similarities with Buddhas’ abilities to see everything regardless of time, there is no evidence given - other than the original author’s Chinese ethnicity - to suggest that the concept within the film was derived from Buddhism, rather than simply happening to reflect it (if there is an interview with the author where he states explicitly that he drew concepts from Buddhism, that would be a different matter). You might just as well draw a parallel with the Christian/Jewish/Islamic god’s supposed omniscience. I think the editor who included all this has got somewhat carried away with its significance. Personally I would delete the whole section as tangential. Indeed the most interesting point is the similarity drawn with the other film Melancholia. MapReader (talk) 20:48, 31 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I have deleted the section as a whole, and the referenced sentence about melancholia I have put into Critical Response. Would likely need a tinker to sound more about the comparison. Rusted AutoParts 00:38, 1 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Accolades

  • "At the 89th Academy Awards, it would win" -> "At the 89th Academy Awards, it won"
 Done Rusted AutoParts 21:23, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

See also

  • This section seems a little odd. Why is Ensō there? Why are there cites for some articles and not others?
Seems mostly a collection of themes, concepts or stories that inspired or are similar to Arrival. I've elected to remove it. Rusted AutoParts 21:32, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Images

  • Look good with appropriate licences
I think that's it from me (copvio tool shows an 89% match with a blog, but the blog looks to have copied text from our article, not the other way round). Placing on hold Cavie78 (talk) 14:59, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks Rusted AutoPart and MapReader. I think the recent edits have made for a much better article (I slightly reworded the reference to Interstellar - hope that's ok). Happy to promote - congrats! Cavie78 (talk) 11:21, 1 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks. I did a lot of work to pull this article into shape when the film came out, and am way ahead as top editor in terms of edits, so I’ll take some of the credit for the GA, even though Rusted has added lots of content and taken it across the line! TVM for all the hard work of reviewing :) MapReader (talk)…
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