Talk:Armenia at the 2018 Winter Olympics/GA1
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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 15:28, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
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Hi Crzycheetah! I will review this article for you. I will complete a quick c/e of the article first. Feel free to revert any of the changes, as I will only make what I feel are non-controversial improvements. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:28, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
- Copyedit
- Here is my copyedit. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:32, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
- Another c/e. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:46, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
- Prose & MOS
- In the lead, "The team's best finish in any event was a 42nd place mark by " - would recommend changing "best" to "highest", as finishing 42 out of 200 racers would be better than finishing 40 out of 40.
- In the first paragraph, "Armenia became an independent nation again following" - maybe explain what you mean by "again"?
- Alpine skiing paragraph, "skis and was thinking of dropping out of competition." - change "was thinking of" to "was contemplating"
- Alpine skiing paragraph, "new pair of skis to Pyeongchan just in time" - change "just in time." to "in time for his first event."
- Alpine skiing paragraph, "On 22 February 2018, Karapetyan, placing 50th in the first race of Men's slalom and 41st in the second race, finished the event ranked 42nd." - kind of a confusing sentence structure. Maybe something like "On 22 February 2018, Karapetyan finished the Men's slalom ranked 42nd after placing 50th in the first race and 41st in the second race." « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:46, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
- Images
- No images used, except country flag, which is PD. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:28, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
- References
- References all look good. Reliable and cited in-line. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:46, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
- Overall
- Overall, everything looks pretty good. Let me know if you have any questions. Will place on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:46, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
- Thank you for your review. I've made the aforementioned adjustments. Please take a look at the "Background" section again, is it fine or do I need to just remove the "again" word?--Cheetah (talk) 16:40, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
- Makes more sense now. I made a quick c/e. Everything looks good here. Passed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 16:44, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
- Thanks!--Cheetah (talk) 16:58, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
- Makes more sense now. I made a quick c/e. Everything looks good here. Passed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 16:44, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
- Thank you for your review. I've made the aforementioned adjustments. Please take a look at the "Background" section again, is it fine or do I need to just remove the "again" word?--Cheetah (talk) 16:40, 5 September 2018 (UTC)