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Talk:Appomattox Court House National Historical Park/GA1

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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 16:18, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I'm gonna go ahead and start out by stating that I'm a bit of a Civil War buff, so I'll probably be a little picky with this one.

  • A few quick comments: The uploader for the NPS tour guide image, User:Billy Hathorn, has been banned (not blocked, banned) for COPYVIOs, so that image needs to be scrutinized closely. Actually, most of the photos are courtesy Billy. Most of the images look fine, but it's something to keep an eye on.
 Done - tour guide picture removed. Replaced all of Billy Hathorn's pictures with ones I took at the park that I uploaded with the proper license to Flickr years ago.
  • The visitor stats are very outdated, more current ones are available from the NPS at [1].
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:30, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The 1961 brochure isn't the best source for what's in the park now, the NPS has a webpage for this - [2], navigating through the various links should contain the desired information.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:57, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The References section should be split into a section for sources used, and a Further reading for those that aren't, sources that aren't directly related, such as Bradford, Chaffin, Kennedy, and probably McPherson should be removed.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:57, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • There's a lot of external links, can this be trimmed?
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:39, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The structure of this is very odd - it goes early history, what's in the park now, a little bit about the surrender, then changes to the park. It's probably best to go early history-Civil War-origin of park-modern day
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:30, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • NRHP listing isn't mentioned in the body, it should be.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:15, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • It's a national park because of the surrender, but information about it is rather limited. For instance, the Battle of Appomattox Court House (the battle lead to the surrender) isn't really mentioned.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:54, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Some of the see also links aren't really relevant, for instance "Turning Point of the American Civil War", the war had already done and turned by that point.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:46, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Here's one last general comment - For structure, I'd recommend looking at Wilson's Creek National Battlefield, which is currently a GA. (Full disclosure: I'm the editor who worked it up to GA status) That's the sort of structure to look for with battle-related NPS articles - Battle and other relevant history, inclusion in the park service, then features, with a bit of leeway.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:30, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to a full prose review later, I feel like the article may change a bit over the next couple days. Hog Farm (talk) 02:49, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Hog Farm: I have addressed all these starter issues. Can you look them over to see if I done as you suggested. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:01, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Further comments

[edit]
  • "The Appomattox Court House is a National Historical Park of original and reconstructed 19th century buildings in Appomattox County, Virginia." - A couple things with this sentence. First, can you rephrase this so that the whole name of the park is in bolded text? Second, "is a National Historical Park of original and reconstructed 19th century buildings" is a bit awkward phrasing (I think the culprit is the of)
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:05, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The village is famous as the site of the Battle of Appomattox Court House and containing the house of Wilmer McLean" - Insert "for" between "and" and "containing"
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:05, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:05, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:05, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "named after its oldest existing structure, the Clover Hill Tavern (c. 1819)." - Link Clover Hill Tavern here, rather than later
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:05, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link county seat
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:05, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It was parts of Buckingham, Prince Edward, Charlotte, and Campbell Counties" - Several things here. 1.) Link the counties 2.) Clarify so that it's clear that "it" is Appomattox County, not Clover Hill. 3.) "It was parts" is not grammatical
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:54, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think the visitation number is for yearly visitation
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:54, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Hugh Raine basically owned most of the Clover Hill area." - Drop basically
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:54, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Later, he sold the property to a Colonel Samuel D. McDearmon" - "a" implies the exact identity isn't known, but the link implies the exact identity is known.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:54, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link American Civil War at the first mention, not the second
 Done - Linked in body in addition to already being linked in lead. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:54, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • VLR no. needs a citation
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:54, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Not sure that "Built 1865" is entirely accurate.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:54, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

More to come later. Hog Farm (talk) 22:15, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • "It presently has a couple of dozen restored buildings. Some of the notable buildings are the Peers House, McLean House, New County Jail, Jones Law Office, Clover Hill Tavern, Woodson Law Office, Bocock-Isbell House, Mariah Wright House, Plunkett-Meeks Store, Sweeney-Conner Cabin, Charles Sweeney Cabin, Sweeney Prizery and the Old Appomattox Court House. There are also various ruins and cemeteries within the village. At the time of the Act of Congress that authorized the Appomattox Court House National Historical Park in 1935, the existing buildings were the Clover Hill Tavern, the Tavern guest house and kitchen, the Woodson Law office structure, the Plunkett-Meeks Store, the Bocock-Isbell House, and several residences outside the village limits.[12] There are several markers throughout the field of the village that show points of interest within the Park. Some of these are the sites of General Lee's and General Grant's headquarters; the site of the apple tree where General Lee waited for General Grant's reply on the morning of April 9, 1865; the line of General Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain's temporarily commanding the 1st Division of the V Corps, drawn up to receive the Confederate arms on April 12, 1865; and the position of the last cannon fired by the Confederate artillery on the morning of April 9, 1865. There is also a monument and two tablets that were erected by the state of North Carolina describing the last engagement of the armies this same morning.[12]" is before the battle/surrender is mentioned. It makes more sense to do it chronological and talk about the surrender, then the present state.
 Done - moved this large paragraph under "Park development history" for a better chronological flow. Moved first paragraph in "Appomattox Court House village" section to become second paragraph for chronology. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:44, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Watch for duplinks in the list of buildings, some of these are linked above.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:44, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • " the line of General Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain's temporarily commanding the 1st Division of the V Corps" - Something is off grammatically here
 Done - removed. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:16, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "at the village of "Appomattox Court House"" - Why the quotes?
 Done - fixed. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:16, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 3 is just a titled url, that's a mess when links go dead, because it's hard to piece together what use to be at the page without the author, etc.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:59, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 6, the main URL redirects to a home page now
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:59, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 1 takes me to a search screen I have trouble using, is there a way to take the URL to the exact page?
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:59, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 2 needs the date
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:59, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 8 needs accessdate
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 16:23, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 9 takes me to a homepage. Also, the website is listed as "dnr.mo.gov". I thought that looked funny, turns out that domain name is for the Missouri Department of Natural Resources, which does not seem to be connected to the URL or document
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:09, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 10 needs publisher
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:09, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 13 needs publisher
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:09, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Cut down the references to only those used in the text - Marvel, Burnham, Winik
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:09, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • If it's not used, then either remove it entirely or put it in further reading. Generally, a good rule of thumb for GAs is to have further reading at a max of about four items. Try to pick the most relevant ones; one like Kennedy that are an overview of all of the battles in the war aren't particularly relevant to this one park.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:09, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • See WP:EL/P, maybe consider dropping the YouTube EL.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:09, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Finally gonna place this on hold, I think that's about everything. Good work, and thanks for bearing with all my comments on this one, a different reviewer may have been much more lenient on this one. Hog Farm (talk) 02:53, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Hog Farm: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look at it. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:09, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Doug Coldwell: - handful more.

The image-prose ratio is a little high - the readable prose checker tool is saying 1159 words / 13 images = about 1 image per 90 words. That's a little high

Refs 1, 3, 4, 7, and 15 need publishers.

"The historical park was described in 1989 as having an area of 1,325 acres (536 ha).[9] The park was listed on the National Register of Historic Places on October 15, 1966.[10]" is in the lead, but not in the main body. If it's in the lead, it should be in the main body.

Getting really close to done on this one, thanks for bearing with my pickiness here. Hog Farm (talk) 21:39, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Hog Farm: No problem. It's a fun article to upgrade to GA since I have been to this park many times and have hundreds of pictures of it uploaded to Flickr.
I'll work on it tomorrow after a night's sleep, so I can get some of my RAM back. I'll drop out some pictures as I didn't know about the ratio thing. This will be the third ACW article I will have upgraded to GA. The others are Conclusion of the American Civil War (created) and Australia and the American Civil War. I have created 500 Did You Know articles and here are the ones pertaining to ACW. BTW, when I did the Did You Know for this article it was a 16 in 1 hook (a record at the time). The record was broken, so later I did a 30 in 1 Did You Know hook (which has been broken again = I give!). --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:03, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Hog Farm: The additional issues were addressed. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:13, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Passing. Hog Farm (talk) 15:33, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
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