Talk:Applause (Lady Gaga song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: MaranoFan (talk · contribs) 09:02, 30 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I will be reviewing this article. --MaranoFan (talk) 09:02, 30 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, once you are done with full review then I will address it. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 09:57, 30 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lede

"released as the album's lead single by Interscope Records" ----> "released as the album's lead single through Interscope Records"
""Applause" achieved worldwide commercial success in a variety of major music markets." ---->""Applause" achieved commercial success in a variety of major music markets.""
"Gaga's twelfth top-ten (and ninth top-five) single when it peaked at number four on the Billboard Hot 100." ----> "It peaked at number four on the US Billboard Hot 100, becoming Gaga's ninth top-five single."
"sold over 2,580,000 copies, as of April 2015" ----> "went on to sell over 2,580,000 copies in the US."
"certified three-times platinum" ----> "certified triple platinum"
"fashion photographer duo Inez and Vinoodh" ----> "fashion photography duo Inez and Vinoodh"
"jumbo-screens"----> Shouldn't this be "jumbotrons"?
"profile of the artist herself"----> "profile of Gaga herself"
"dissected her career"----> Try something like "represented"
"Many other notable live performances followed, including ones on Good Morning America and Saturday Night Live, as well as during Gaga's residency show at Roseland Ballroom and on the ArtRave: The Artpop Ball."----> "Applause was promoted with multiple more performances, including ones on Good Morning America and Saturday Night Live, as well as during Gaga's residency show at Roseland Ballroom and on ArtRave: The Artpop Ball."

--MaranoFan (talk) 09:31, 30 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Background and writing

"the album's concepts were "beginning to flourish""----> I don't think it needs inverted commas
"songs were sketched out"----> "songs were written"
"she yearned to make"----> Try something like "intended" or "wished"
"a revelation that instead was announced one month in advance"----> There is something definitely wrong with this sentence. Try something like "which was instead announced on" or "which was instead revealed on".
" forced the singer into a six-month hiatus"----> "caused the singer to take a six-month hiatus".
Add a source after "creative gifts"
The quote is pretty big. Can you please try and work some of it into prose?
- Have to disagree here a bit MF. The quote is essentially ad verbatim and represents what the artist spoke about and felt about the song. I don't think this one violates WP:QUOTEFARM.

--MaranoFan (talk) 13:26, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Recording and composition

""Applause" was recorded at"----> "The recording sessions for "Applause" took place at".
"mixing was done by Bill Malina"----> " mixing was carried out by Bill Malina"
"According to the sheet music published at Musicnotes.com, "----> This can be removed entirely as it is not subjective.
Pretty sure "stuttering synthesisers" should be in quotes. If no source can be found then remove this.
"Robbie Daw from" --> "Robbie Daw of"
"Michael Cragg of The Guardian" --> "The Guardian's Michael Cragg"

--MaranoFan (talk) 13:35, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Artwork and release

"lead single for Artpop" --> "lead single from Artpop"
""Every record that you played me is better than the one that you played before it, so the last one should be your first single." --> I don't think the removal of this quote will be detrimental to any reader. Just say something like "Iovine expressed preference for Applause" over all of the other songs".
"On August 10," --> Add the year and remove the word "small"
"short clip for "Applause"" --> Replace "for with "of"
"who said that" --> "who opined that"
"most copies of the single" --> "most copies of "Applause""

--MaranoFan (talk) 13:46, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

"The Huffington Post described it as" --> The author for this article seems to be 'Baggers'.
"Mof Gimmers from The Quietus" --> "of The Quietus"
"Positive comment also came from Mike Driver from" --> "Positive feedback also came from Mike Driver of"
"Spin criticized the song's "bland dance-bot foundations"" --> The author for this article seems to be 'Marc Hogan'.

--MaranoFan (talk) 13:54, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Chart performance

"Gaga performing "Applause" on the" --> "Gaga performing "Applause" on"
"forecasted "Applause" to sell upwards" --> "predicted "Applause" to sell upwards"
"in their first week" --> "in its first week"
"did not enter the Billboard's Hot 100 on its first week" --> "in" its first week
"impacting radio stations on August 19" --> Add the year
"did peak at" --> "did reach"
"On its second week on the charts, the song climbed to number four on the Billboard Hot 100" --> But if it didn't chart on the H100, then how had it "climbed" or how was it "its second week on the charts". This needs clarification.
"and reached 1 million copies sold" --> "and reached sales of 1 million copies"
" on the airplay chart" --> "on that chart"
"As of April 2015" --> Remove this.
- No this is a norm to mention at what date the sales were retrieved, to give perspective how old the sales data is. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 10:49, 1 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"3 times platinum" --> "triple platinum"
"making it her highest" --> "becoming her highest"
"has sold 234,979 copies" --> Change that to "had" or remove it altogether.
"15,000 copies, 7,500 copies, and 20,000 copies respectively" --> Thats too much repetition of "copies" in one sentence.

--MaranoFan (talk) 14:05, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Music video

Development

"fashion photographer duo" --> "fashion photography duo"
"the Paramount Pictures studio lot" --> "at Paramount Pictures studios".
"over the course of a three-day period" --> "over the course of three days"
"Gaga was heavily inspired" --> Remove "heavily"
"Fashion worn in the video included" --> Change fashion to attire
Again, a pretty huge quote here. Try to work it into prose.
- This time I agree :). —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 10:49, 1 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Release and synopsis

"jumbo-screens" --> "jumbotrons"
"The video itself" --> Remove "itself"
"the name of her album" --> I think by this time the reader knows that Artpop is her album. Remove this.

Reception and analysis

Change all of the "from"s to "of"s. Writer X of Source X" is correct over "Writer X from Source X".

No other concerns here.

--MaranoFan (talk) 14:12, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances

"replaced by cheers and applause" --> Use only one of the two verbs.
"Gaga next performed "Applause"" --> Lets use "reprised" instead.
"where she performed a highly choreographed dance routine" --> What is a highly choreographed dance routine?

--MaranoFan (talk) 14:45, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

In popular culture

This section is fairly short. Merge it with the live performances one or another.--MaranoFan (talk) 14:45, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Track listings and formats

No issues.--MaranoFan (talk) 14:45, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Credits and personnel

No issues.--MaranoFan (talk) 14:45, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

No other issues in the article. --MaranoFan (talk) 14:45, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

End of review

If the above concerns are addressed within 7 days, I will pass the article.--MaranoFan (talk) 14:45, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@MaranoFan: all addressed. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 10:49, 1 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I made a few tweaks here, but no other concerns. Great job, passing.--MaranoFan (talk) 11:52, 1 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.