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GA Review

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Reviewer: StringTheory11 (talk · contribs) 22:30, 25 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

So, seeing as this article has not been reviewed yet, I am here to do it! I will go through section-by-section and hope to pass/fail/put on hold within a week. StringTheory11 22:30, 25 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

You can get Freywa for 1a. He'll do a very thorough prose check and find all the small errors we won't notice. Double sharp (talk) 11:34, 30 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
On the double! Parcly is on the research labs. FreywaParcly Taxel
or else... 02:44, 31 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
All the prose errors listed. FreywaParcly Taxel
20% Cooler 05:03, 31 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality: FreywaParcly Taxel
    20% Cooler     05:03, 31 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    FreywaParcly Taxel
    20% Cooler     23:40, 3 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
    The lead should be longer and include more details. Oxygen and germanium are good models for this article.
    Expanded a little. --Stone (talk) 12:47, 29 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    Now a +. StringTheory11 00:08, 30 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
    I have put in a request at WP:RFPP due to repeated vandalism.
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    File:Antimony (mined)2.PNG does not have author info. Will need to be fixed.
    Changed to self made PD chart .--Stone (talk) 09:32, 26 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    Now this criteria is a check. StringTheory11 01:16, 27 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:

Comments

[edit]

Prose quality

[edit]
  • Lead  Done FreywaParcly Taxel
    20% Cooler     03:37, 1 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • Antimony... is a toxic chemical element with the symbol Sb and an atomic number of 51. Move precautions to the end of the lead.
    • Antimony compounds have been known since ancient times and were used for cosmetics; metallic antimony was also known, but mostly identified as lead. Rewrite "...particularly metallic antimony, which was erroneously identified as lead."
    • It was established to be a element not before 16th and 17th century. Rewrite "...an element around the 17th century."
    • Antimony occurs mostly as the sulfide mineral stibnite. This is a repeat of a sentence in the earlier paragraph.
    • Roasting and subsequent carbothermal reduction or direct reduction of stibnite with iron are the industrial methods to produce antimony. Twilight Sparkle, up in the party, saying "move that to the beginning!"
    • Antimony compounds are prominent additives for chlorine- and bromine-containing fire retardants found in many commercial and domestic products. (1) The largest application for metallic antimony is as alloying material for lead and tin. (2) It improves the properties of the alloys which are used as in solders, bullets and ball bearings. (3) The largest application is the lead antimony plates in lead–acid batteries. (4) An emerging application is the use of antimony in microelectronics. (5) The organisation of this is ridiculous. The order I want is (2)+(4), (1)+(3), (5), where + denotes sentence merging.
  • Other stuff that would make the article 20% cooler
    • The section organisation should be Characteristics, Compounds, History, Production, Applications, Precautions.
    • Once the fixes have been implemented, it would be prudent to merge and split paragraphs such that no one is 1 or 2 sentences long.
  • History  Done FreywaParcly Taxel
    20% Cooler     03:37, 1 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • Antimony's sulfide compound... was recognized in predynastic Egypt as an eye cosmetic (kohl), at least as early as about 3100 BC, when the cosmetic palette was invented. Remove the words in bold.
    • One contemporary (Austen, at a lecture by Herbert Gladstone, published in 1892) was reported to comment that "we only know of antimony at the present day as a highly brittle and crystalline metal, which could hardly be fashioned into a useful vase, and therefore this remarkable 'find' must represent the lost art of rendering antimony malleable." Replace first bold expression with "Austen, at a lecture by Herbert Gladstone in 1892" and second with "commented". It would be nice to have a reference. In addition, make it clear this relates to the first artifact mentioned in the paragraph.
    • However, Moorey was unconvinced the artefact was indeed a vase, mentioning that Selimkhanov, after his analysis of the Telloh object (published in 1975), "attempted to relate the metal to Transcaucasian natural antimony" (i.e. native metal) and that "the antimony objects from Transcaucasia are all small personal ornaments." Wasn't it said to be Tello earlier?
    • The first European description of a procedure for isolating antimony is in the book De la pirotechnia of 1540 by Vannoccio Biringuccio. This book predates the more famous 1556 book by Agricola, De re metallica, though Agricola has been often incorrectly credited with the discovery of metallic antimony. The first "book" can be removed, and the two sentences can be merged. The sentence part regarding the incorrect attribution to Agricola can be shortened.
    • A text describing the preparation of metallic antimony published in Germany in 1604 purported to date from the early 15th century, and if authentic, it would predate Biringuccio. The book, written in Latin, was called Currus Triumphalis Antimonii (The Triumphal Chariot of Antimony), and its putative author was a certain Benedictine monk, writing under the name Basilius Valentinus. Do fixes, please.
    • Pure antimony was well known to Jābir ibn Hayyān, sometimes called "the Father of Chemistry", in the 8th century. Remove!
    • Here there is still an open controversy: Marcellin Berthelot, who translated a number of Jābir's books... Replace with "There is a controversy, with translator Marcellin Berthelot stating antimony was never found in Jābir's books, but others claiming..." I'll leave this to you.
    • The first natural occurrence of pure antimony ('native antimony') in the Earth's crust was described by the Swedish scientist and local mine district engineer Anton von Swab in 1783. The type-sample was collected from the Sala Silver Mine in the Bergslagen mining district of Sala, Västmanland, Sweden. The bold section can be removed. The sentences can be merged as well.

FreywaParcly Taxel
20% Cooler 03:24, 31 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

    • Etymology
      • Pliny the Elder, however, distinguishes between male and female forms of antimony; his male form is probably the sulfide, while the female form, which is superior, heavier, and less friable, is probably native metallic antimony. Replace with "the" and "has been suspected" respectively.
      • The Greek word, στίμμι stimmi, is probably a loan word from Arabic or Egyptian sdm [hieroglyphics here], and is used by the Attic tragic poets of the 5th century BC; later Greeks also used 'στἰβι stibi, as did Celsus and Pliny, writing in Latin, in the first century AD. The Greek words are normally not italicised (which they are in the article). The comma after the hieroglyphics is in a rather awkward position.
      • Littré suggests the first form, which is the earliest, derives from stimmida, (one) accusative for stimmi. Replace with "an".
      • The use of Sb as the standard chemical symbol for antimony is due to the 18th-century chemical pioneer, Jöns Jakob Berzelius, who used this abbreviation of the name stibium. Remove.
      • The medieval Latin form, from which the modern languages and late Byzantine Greek, take their names, is antimonium. Remove the second comma.
      • The popular etymology, from ἀντίμοναχός anti-monachos or French antimoine, still has adherents... Replace with "the most common interpretation".
      • So does the hypothetical Greek word ἀντίμόνος antimonos, "against aloneness", explained as "not found as metal", or "not found unalloyed". Replace with "another interpretation".
      • Lippmann conjectured a Greek word, ανθήμόνιον anthemonion, which would mean "floret", and he cites several examples of related Greek words (but not that one) which describe chemical or biological efflorescence. Remove THESE two as well.
      • Several authorities believe antimonium is a scribal corruption of some Arabic form; Meyerhof derives it from ithmid; other possibilities include athimar, the Arabic name of the metalloid, and a hypothetical as-stimmi, derived from or parallel to the Greek. Replace with "..., with Meyerhof deriving it from ithmid and other possibilities..."
  • Characteristics
    • Properties
      • Antimony is stable in air at room temperature but reacts with oxygen if heated to form antimony trioxide, Sb2O3. Insert comma.
      • Therefore, antimony by itself is not used to make hard objects: coins made of antimony were issued in China's Guizhou province in 1931, but because of their rapid wear their minting was discontinued. Insert comma again.
      • Four allotropes of antimony are known: a stable metallic form, and three metastable forms: explosive, black and yellow. The colons need to be replaced with commas. The comma, on the other hand, needs to be removed.
      • When scratched with a sharp implement, an exothermic reaction occurs and white fumes given off as metallic antimony is formed; alternatively, when rubbed with a pestle in a mortar, a strong detonation occurs. Insert an "and" in that first expression. The second part of the sentence could be integrated into the first.
      • Metallic antimony adopts a layered structure (space group R3m No. 166) in which layers consist of fused ruffled six-membered rings. It doesn't matter whether I can put macrons in, remove this!
        •  Not done IMHO we shouldn't simply remove technical notes like this. Those who don't understand what it means are probably not looking for this information, while those who do understand what it means would benefit from its inclusion. Double sharp (talk) 12:20, 3 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      • Nearest and next-nearest neighbors form a distorted octahedral complex, with the three atoms in the same double-layer being slightly closer than the three atoms in the next. Add a "the".
      • This relatively close packing leads to a high density of 6.697 g/cm3 whereas the low hardness and brittleness of antimony originate from the weak bonding between the layers. Split sentences.
        • Rephrased to make the connection between the two sentences clearer; the previous sentence says "the three atoms in the same double layer being slightly closer than the three atoms in the next", implying that the bonding within a layer is stronger than the bonding between layers. Double sharp (talk) 12:20, 3 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • Isotopes
      • The most stable of these is 124Sb with a half-life of 60.20 days, this isotope has also an application in some neutron sources. Split this into two.
    • Occurence
      • Antimony is sometimes found native, but more frequently it is found in the sulfide stibnite (Sb2S3) which is the predominant ore mineral. Rewrite to "Antimony is sometimes found natively, but more often in stibnite, the predominant ore mineral." FreywaParcly Taxel
        20% Cooler         03:53, 31 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Production
    • In 2005, the People's Republic of China was the top producer of antimony with about 84% world share followed at a distance by South Africa, Bolivia and Tajikistan, reports the British Geological Survey. Again, Twilight Sparkle says "move that to the beginning" and Rainbow Dash adds "do it in ten seconds flat".
    • The mine with the largest deposits in China is Xikuangshan Mine in Hunan province with an estimated deposit of 2.1 million metric tons. Is this the largest in the world, or only in China?
    • In October 2011 a deposit of antimony was found in a shallow seabed about 50 km off Amami-Oshima Island in Kagoshima Prefecture. The discovery was the first time that antimony had been found at such shallow depths (480 meters), with this type of mineral deposit only ever having been found in depths in excess of 1000 meters. Uh... I don't know what to make of this. It sounds like a news report or something, so I would suggest this to be removed.
    • Most of the antimony is mined as sulfide. Lower grade ores are concentrated by froth flotation while higher grade ores are heated to 500–600°C, at this temperature stibnite melts and is separated from the gangue minerals. First one, remove. Second, insert comma. Third, replace with "which". Fourth, merge the two sentences.
  • Compounds
    • The sentences here can be merged wholesale. At present, they seem isolated.
    • Oxides and hydroxides
      • Antimony pentoxide, (Sb4O10) can only be formed by oxidation by concentrated nitric acid. Remove comma.
      • Unlike phosphorus and arsenic, these various oxides are amphoteric and do not form well-defined oxoacids and react with acids to form antimony salts. Replace with comma.
      • Antimonous acid Sb(OH)3 is unknown but the conjugate base sodium antimonite ([Na3SbO3]4) forms upon fusing sodium oxide and Sb4O6. Insert comma.
      • Several thioantimonides are known such as [Sb6S10]2− and [Sb8S13]2−. Insert comma again.
    • Halides
      • Antimony trioxide dissolves in concentrated acid to form antimony oxo- (antimonyl) compounds such as SbOCl and (SbO)2SO4. Replace with "oxoantimonyl".
    • Antimonides, hydrides, and organoantimony compounds
      • Antimony forms antimonides with metals, such as indium antimonide (InSb), and silver antimonide (Ag3Sb). Remove second comma.
      • The alkali metal and zinc antimonides, e.g. Na3Sb and Zn3Sb2, are more reactive. Replace with "such as".
      • A large variety of compounds are known with both Sb(III) and Sb(V) centers including mixed chloro-organic derivatives, anions, and cations. Since "both" refers to both oxidation states, "Sb(III) and Sb(V)" can be removed. Insert a comma there as well. FreywaParcly Taxel
        20% Cooler         04:21, 31 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Applications
    • The largest application world wide for antimony is the use as flame retardants with 60% while the use in alloys for batteries, bearings and solders accounts for 20% of the produced antimony. Rewrite "60% of antimony produced is used as a flame retardant, while 20% is used in alloys for batteries, bearings and solders."
    • The last two sections can be merged.
    • Flame retardants
      • The main use of antimony is in the form of antimony trioxide is used in the making of flame-proofing compounds. Rewrite "Antimony is mainly used as its trioxide in making flame-proofing compounds."
      • It is nearly always used in combination with halogenated flame retardants only exception is in halogen containing polymers. Insert a comma and "with the" in the first expression, and replace the second with "being".
      • It improves Markets for these flame-retardant applications include children's clothing, toys, aircraft and automobile seat covers. What is this? Remove!
      • It is also used in the fiberglass composites industry as an additive to polyester resins for such items as light aircraft engine covers. The resin will burn while a flame is held to it but will extinguish itself as soon as the flame is removed. Rewrite "In the fiberglass industry, antimony is an additive to polyester resins, its effect being self-extinguishment with the removal of a flame."
      • Fireproofing consumes about half of the annual production of antimony. This is a repeat.
    • Alloys
      • For most of the application where lead is used varying amounts of antimony are use as alloying metal. Rewrite "For most applications of lead, varying amounts of antimony are used."
      • The Sb–Pb alloy is used in lead–acid batteries. The antimony improves the charging characteristics and reduces the amount of hydrogen generated during charging. Rewrite "In lead-acid batteries, this addition improves charging characteristics and reduces generation of unwanted hydrogen."
      • It is used in antifriction alloys, such as Babbitt metal. It is used as an alloy in bullets and lead shot, cable sheathing, type metal (e.g. for linotype printing machines), solder – some "lead-free" solders contain 5% Sb, in pewter, and in hardening alloys with low tin content in the manufacturing of organ pipes. Can somepony merge and integrate all this into one coherent sentence?
    • Other main applications
      • Three other application make up nearly the complete rest of the consumption. Pluralise this, please.
      • one use is in polymers. Antimony compounds are used as stabilizer and it is as a catalyst for the production of the polymer polyethyleneterephthalate. Rewrite "One of these uses is as a stabiliser and a catalyst for the production of polyethyleneterephthalate."
      • Another application is as an additive in some glasses. In the latter application, antimony oxides serve as fining agents, aiding in the removal of microscopic bubbles. This application is mainly used for TV screens. The third large application is the use as pigment." Rewrite "Another application is to serve as a fining agent to remove bubbles in glass, mostly for TV screens; the third one is as a pigment."
    • Other applications
      • In tiny amounts, antimony is increasingly being used in the semiconductor industry as a dopant for ultra-high conductivity n-type silicon wafers in the production of diodes, infrared detectors, and Hall-effect devices. Remove.
      • In the heads of some safety matches antimony(III) sulfide is used. Insert comma.
      • Antimony-124 together with beryllium is used in neutron sources. The gamma rays emitted by antimony-124 initiate a photodisintegration of beryllium. The emmited neutrons have an average of 24 keV. Rewrite "Antimony-124 is used as a neutron source, which has an indirect mechanism of operation by photodisintegrating beryllium."
      • This element is also used in traditional cosmetics and event paint and glass art crafts. Replace with comma.
      • The use in enamel as opacifiers was reduced since the 1930s after several intoxications happened. Rewrite "An application as an opacifier declined in use after the 1930s, after several intoxications were reported." FreywaParcly Taxel
        20% Cooler         04:48, 31 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Precautions
    • Antimony(V) is not quantitative reduced to antimony(III) in the cell. It's "quantitatively" here.
    • Methylation of antimony does not occur and therefore the excretion of antimony(V) in the urine is the main way of elimination. First one, add "since" behind. Second, replace with comma. Third, delete.
    • Reported cases of intoxication by antimony equivalent to 90 mg antimony potassium tartrate dissolved from enamel showed only short term effects. An intoxication with 6 g of antimony potassium tartrate was deadly after 3 days. Rewrite "90 mg of antimony as the potassium tartrate has been reported to show short-term effects; 6 g of the tartrate has been reported to result in death after three days."
    • Inhalation of antimony dust is harmful and in certain cases may be fatal; in small doses, antimony causes headaches, dizziness, and depression. Larger doses such as prolonged skin contact may cause dermatitis; otherwise it can damage the kidneys and the liver, causing violent and frequent vomiting, and will lead to death in a few days. The second part of the first sentence is better off with the second sentence. First bold expression, replace with a comma and "or". Second one, replace with "leading".
    • Antimony is incompatible with strong oxidizing agents, strong acids, halogen acids, chlorine, or fluorine. It should be kept away from heat. Merge these two.
    • The list detailing the antimony limits in water can be integrated into the paragraph.

Well, that's all the errors I found in the article. FIX THEM! FreywaParcly Taxel
20% Cooler 04:58, 31 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

 Done unless otherwise stated. Double sharp (talk) 12:20, 3 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
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