Talk:Anoosh Masood Chaudhry

A fact from Anoosh Masood Chaudhry appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 16 February 2020 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that Anoosh Masood Chaudhry completed a medical degree before entering law enforcement and becoming an assistant superintendent of police?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2020/February. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Anoosh Masood Chaudhry.

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Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by 97198 (talk) 00:55, 14 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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Comment or view
Article history

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... that Anoosh Masood Chaudhry served as the first-ever female Assistant Superintendent of Police in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province of Pakistan? Source: Daily Pakistan
- ALT1 ... that Anoosh Masood Chaudhry was the first-ever female Assistant Superintendent of Police to serve in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province of Pakistan? Source: Daily Pakistan
  - ALT2 ... that Anoosh Masood Chaudhry started her career as a medical doctor and then became the first female Assistant Superintendent of Police to serve in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province of Pakistan? Source: Daily Pakistan
    - ALT3: ... that Anoosh Masood Chaudhry received her medical degree before entering law enforcement and becoming the first female assistant superintendent of police from Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province of Pakistan? Source: Daily Pakistan, Pakistan Today
      - ALT4: ... that Anoosh Masood Chaudhry received her medical degree before entering law enforcement and becoming an assistant superintendent of police? Source: Pakistan Today

Created/expanded by SheriffIsInTown (talk). Self-nominated at 20:23, 25 January 2020 (UTC).[reply]

Welcome to DYK, SheriffIsInTown! I see this is your first contribution to DYK. Let me go over some things first:

About the hook, the article title should always be bolded. Additionally, we tend to omit titles like "Dr." in writing DYK hooks.
The article is new enough and long enough (1,794 prose characters).
You do not need to review another article because you have fewer than 5 DYK credits.
The hook (both are the same thing in slightly different phrasing) is cited, but it's rather dry, and honestly for readers who are not familiar with the topic, boring. Additionally, we tend to dissuade "first-ever" types of hooks. The "gold medal in medicine" could work, but again, this is not my area of the world, so I have to ask, what is a gold medal in medicine in the Pakistani context so I can evaluate if it is interesting enough for a hook?

In short, the article itself meets requirements, but I have questions about the quality of the hook. Raymie (t • c) 03:41, 26 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Raymie: Thanks for explicating. I understand the concern regarding the lackluster of the hook but in a country where women are widely regarded as marginalized, in my view it's quite a great deal for being a woman and being a first in something, whatever it can be. I am not sure about the value of being a gold medalist in medicine in Pakistan. I will have to do some more research on that but I think regardless of the lackluster of the hook, it would be valuable to publish that fact and achievement of the lady at DYK. Let me know if you have a better hook in mind to illustrate the same fact. Sheriff | ☎ 911 | 04:38, 26 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@SheriffIsInTown: I'm doing some research on the medal thing and it seems to be some sort of university honor, which is conferred by the school (and maybe not relevant as a hook fact). I did turn up this, which has more information on her university experience and says she attended Fatima Jinnah Medical College, but I can't pass judgment on the source and I am completely clueless as to what "PSP" this is referring to. Perhaps this would be a reasonable ALT4 once info about her MBBS is added: Raymie (t • c) 08:02, 26 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

ALT4: ... that Anoosh Masood Chaudhry received her medical degree before entering law enforcement and becoming an assistant superintendent of police?

@Raymie: I added the source regarding her MBBS into the article and added ALT3 and ALT4. Please take a gander! Sheriff | ☎ 911 | 04:44, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

(Note: changed my ALT3 to ALT4 to match the above) Done. Did a bit more copyediting; Pakistani/Indian English's aversion to definite articles puzzles me; I've inserted some, including a "the" in your ALT3. I personally prefer ALT3 or ALT4, but it's the promoter's call. Sorry about not seeing this, SheriffIsInTown. Raymie (t • c) 16:28, 13 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]