Talk:Anonymous (Tomahawk album)/GA3

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 19:56, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

"June 19, 2007 through" comma after year.
"by Tomahawk vocalist" instead of repeating Tomahawk, perhaps "by the band's vocalist"?
Could link "charted" to record chart.
"filled this vacancy in 2012' you haven't mentioned the timeframe before this in the main body.
"had been listening to" had listened to
"single, "Sun Dance"," linked in the lead but not here?
Having read on, in the lead where it says "mildly positive reviews," I would be tempted to refactor that as "mixed-to-positive".
'"Cradle Song," I would have thought the commas here and hereafter would be outside the quote marks.
Ref 1 has AllMusic in italics but "Writing for AllMusic, Jason" earlier on was not in italics...
Ref 14 too.

I think I've addressed most of these now--the link to the single was removed rather than repeated as it's a redirect which would not clear GNG (I couldn't even find a better source than currently being used to cite the B-side, despite trying several times over the years). As for the timeframe before the 2012 addition of a new bass player--what feels like it's missing? There aren't any concrete sources on why the previous player left (there are some sources, potentially not reliable, which quote a member of another band he was in concurrently giving their reasons for firing him from that band in 2005, which fits the time frame and probably is the same reason here, but that's a whole BLP issue to speculate); the mention of the new member, although it came years after this record, just felt a relevant aside although it could be removed if preferred. Thanks again for picking one of these up. 𝄠ʀᴀᴘᴘʟᴇ X 21:52, 12 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]