Talk:Annie Turnbo Malone/Archives/2016

Peer Review

Great article with good resources. Great lead and good headings. I noticed a few spelling and grammar errors, but they were very minor. Remember to link information into your article, for example, 1st kentucky cavalry has a Wikipedia page and can get a link to it in your article. I also noticed that your reference number 1 does not link to the proper page. I loved the biography, but you might have a subsection specifically for personal life, but that is minor. I did also notice that it looks like a few of your citations didn't work out right "a friend of all mankind" popped up a few times in your sentences, I didn't know if that was intentional or not. It might be cool to add a section about what specific products she developed, but again that is just a suggestion. Looks amazing! Keep up the good work!Sean Dwyer (talk) 16:52, 4 October 2016 (UTC)

I too noticed some citations that might have had errors. Here are the two sections that I believe they occurred in, and I bolded the perceived errors:

"On April 28, 1914, Annie Turnbo married Aaron Eugene Malone, a former teacher and religious book salesman.<" A Friend to All :Mankind">"

"After the divorce, Turnbo Malone moved most of her business to Chicago’s South Parkway, where she bought an entire city block.<"A :Friend to All Mankind"> Other lawsuits followed. In 1937, during the Great Depression, a former employee filed suit, also claiming :credit for Poro's success. To raise money for the settlement, Turnbo Malone sold her St. Louis property. Although much reduced in size, :her business continued to thrive."

I also noticed that some of your information was missing citations and you want to be sure to go in and cite those sections. Here are the places I saw that had missing citations:

"At the time, many women used goose fat, heavy oils, soap, or bacon grease to straighten their curls, which damaged both scalp and :hair."

"Turnbo Malone, by then worth well over a million dollars, built a five-story multipurpose facility."

"After the divorce, Turnbo Malone moved most of her business to Chicago’s South Parkway, where she bought an entire city block.<"A :Friend to All Mankind"> Other lawsuits followed. In 1937, during the Great Depression, a former employee filed suit, also claiming :credit for Poro's success. To raise money for the settlement, Turnbo Malone sold her St. Louis property. Although much reduced in size, :her business continued to thrive."

"At the time of her death, her estate was valued at $100,000."

Besides these minor mishaps and some grammatical errors, your article is off to a great start! JacquelynSkoch (talk) 18:14, 6 October 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for the suggestions! I will take it in and try to utilize them well.

Summer.easley (talk) 20:42, 13 October 2016 (UTC)

Kelsey Luebbert Peer Review

Hello Summer, I think you have a really good start here. You have a great article with good headings and a good amount of information. I think your intro is short, sweet,and gets straight to the point. Some critiques i have are that your "Death and Legacy" section is a little short compared to your other sections. I know that this section is necessary, but maybe you could find a bit more information to add here. I think you do stay quite neutral in your article. I think you could possibly add some more sections to your article, perhaps a "early life" or "personal life" section, just to balance out the content. I also noticed a couple of your refrence links do no link to the correct pages, specifically link number 1. I also think you have a lot of opporutnites to link to other Wikipedia pages that you may have missed, for exmaple, Massac County, Illinois has a Wikipedia page that you could include. I think your information is informative and correct however. I made a couple of minor edits to grammar and sentence structure, but overall you have a really great start to an article! Krlhdc (talk) 23:06, 9 October 2016 (UTC)

Thank you so much! I appreciate the feedback and will work on the citations and adding more information into my sections.

Summer.easley (talk) 20:43, 13 October 2016 (UTC)

Feedback from Prof. P

Excellent work adding citations here, they have stabilized this article. I am, however, not seeing much else other than minor edits in the form of contributions. This page: http://www.freemaninstitute.com/poro.htm has a significant list of Malone's notable acts/works, and yet not all of them have been added, why? This page also provides the original image for the Wiki-page, but its other images have not been added, why? Neither has her mentee's book, Madam C.J. Walker's Role Model, published in 1926. These are serious oversights that should have been added as part of this page's update for the #MoWomenonWikipedia project. Lets get it updated by December 2016! MeganPeiser (talk) 16:26, 14 November 2016 (UTC)