Talk:Anna Hamilton Phelan

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Pepito gun. Peer reviewers: AmberedTime, Ewilsed, Sgillpe.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 17:21, 17 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Copy Edits & Suggestions

Great start to the article! Seems well researched. I just have some grammar corrections and few other notes to help improve it. First off, try changing sentences that use “she” to Phelan’s (her last name). Especially in sentences that have “she” in them twice. Also, make sure that film titles are italicized throughout your article. At the end of your article there is a notes section with nothing in it, you should delete it. Your reference section should not be just HTML addresses. Instead, try filling out the information of things like title, author, etc, into the reference list and it will create a proper citation for you. You can also add an external links section with hyperlinks to things such as her IMDB page. At the bottom of the page you can add your article to different categories to try and gain exposure for your article

In terms of grammar and spelling, the “Carrer” section is spelt wrong, it should be “Career”. Under Education, the first sentence would sound better if it was split up into two sentences. After stating where she studied, you can then start a new sentence saying something like “During her time at Emerson, Phalan studied under screenwriter Syd Field”. Also under Education, after Frank Price there should be a comma. For clarity at the start of the career section, it would help to state where she moved from to New York, instead of starting the section with “she then moved to New York”.

Hopefully this helps you, please let me know if you need any further clarification on any of my edits and suggestions! Good luck with finishing your article!

Sgillpe (talk) 17:55, 12 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Edit

Nice one on the Anna Hamilton Phelan article! I agree with all of Sqillpe's edits and here are some suggestions of my own. Here's a list of some edits you could make:

Add age of birth
Add place of birth
Add photo (optional)
Add Infobox in top right section of article
Make wikilinks for things like: Emerson College and Universal Pictures
Add a period at the end of the first sentence under 'Themes'
Correct spelling of 'Nazi'
Capitalize National Organization for Women and film titles (as well as wikilink all of them and italics)
Add phonetic language for the pronunciation of 'Phelan' (optional)
Remove extra period in 2nd sentence under 'Themes'

Good job so far though, let me know if you want any more information about these suggested edits like how to do up an Infobox or something.

AmberedTime (talk) 04:34, 13 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Edit

Hi Pepito Gun,

I agree with the past suggestions for editing the article; the information is all there, but I would be careful with the repeated use of "her" in place of Phelan's name. I would also try to rework the second sentence of the introduction, as the wording is a little awkward when mentioning Gorillas In the Mist twice. Overall I would tweak the sentence structures so that the article flows together a little more smoothly. Good luck with the rest of your article!

Ewilsed (talk) 01:46, 22 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]