Talk:Angels in Neon Genesis Evangelion/GA1
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Reviewer: Tintor2 (talk · contribs) 18:50, 11 November 2022 (UTC)
I had no idea this article was nominated. I'll be reviewing it.Tintor2 (talk) 18:50, 11 November 2022 (UTC)
Well, it's kinda big article so let's go through each section:
- Lead
- References are unneeded in this section. It could be trimmed a bit.
- I kept anyway the ones on religious symbolism, given the controversy in the fandom and outside.
- Conception
- This is the first time in main body that the series and staff members are mentioned. Needs wikilinks.
- Done
- The "several artists" mentioned could be move to their individual section and leave a generalization.
- Done
- Characteristics
- "which seems to be their main source of energy and weakness." if it's unconfirmed I suggest removing it.
- I think it's canonical, so I rewrote this.
- "To verify the nature of an Angel, Nerv analyzes a wave diagram of unidentified objects, which is indicated by the expression "Blood Type: Blue"" Is this important? I think only Kaworu counts as this unless the Rebuild version of Shinji might count.
- I would prefer to keep it, since it is also mentioned in Themes.
- Adam.
- Fictional dates might come across as fancruft especially when being that specific.
- Done.
- The commentary from Christian religion doesn't seem to add anything about the creatures.
- Horn does not explicitly clarify this point, but the question about Angels coming from Adam Kadmon clearly seems to me to be an allusion to this. But I have quoted his words sic est, so as not to fall into the OR.
- Lilith
- I would avoid giving such a big description unless the designs happens to be important for the story.
- Done.
- Sachiel
- The free image details his appearance well so I would trim the prose. I would trim the plot a bit since the character lasted only two episodes. Maybe mention any Rebuild version?
- Done.
That's all for today. @TeenAngels1234: Keep up the good work.Tintor2 (talk) 22:34, 11 November 2022 (UTC)
- @Tintor2: Tried my best. I am missing one or two points, but if you want you can continue the review.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 12:43, 12 November 2022 (UTC)
- Shamshel
- "appears three weeks after Sachiel's attack" Another case of specific date.
- Israfel
- This character appears in only one episode (well more if we count the manga) so the plot could be trimmed a bit.
- Rest of the other angel
- Basically the same since they tend to last one episode.
- Tabris doesn't seem to have a link to Kaworu's article.
- The Third and Seventh Angels from Rebuild could easily be moved to the character list.
@TeenAngels1234: The reception and the other section seem well enough. Good work.Tintor2 (talk) 13:35, 12 November 2022 (UTC)
- I'm still here. Give me just few hours and I'll fix everything.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 13:47, 18 November 2022 (UTC)
@TeenAngels1234: No problem.Tintor2 (talk) 19:09, 18 November 2022 (UTC)
- @Tintor2: I have avoided moving the Angels of the Rebuild because they do not correspond exactly to those in the series. Tried my best with the rest.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 10:13, 22 November 2022 (UTC)
@TeenAngels1234: Passing the review. Good work.Tintor2 (talk) 10:24, 22 November 2022 (UTC)