Talk:Angel Down (song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: GagaNutella (talk · contribs) 05:17, 9 March 2023 (UTC)

Infobox/lead

• Use bullet points per Template:Infobox song

  I'm not sure what you're reffering to here, because all of the labels, writers, and producers are using bullets. Or you mean I should put bullet list to studios? infsai (talkie? UwU) 20:38, 9 March 2023 (UTC)

  That's right! GagaNutella^talk 00:33, 14 March 2023 (UTC)

• It was released on October 21, 2016, as the concluding track on the standard edition of her fifth studio album Joanne, through Streamline and Interscope Records. → It serves as the concluding track on the standard edition of her fifth studio album, Joanne (2016).
• Influenced by the killing of Trayvon Martin in 2012, it was written during initial recording sessions for Gaga's fifth studio album in 2015, while she was working with her long-time collaborator RedOne, who helped pen the song, as well as producing its "work tape" version. → Influenced by the killing of Trayvon Martin in 2012, it was written by Gaga and her long-time collaborator RedOne, during initial recording sessions of the album in 2015; he also produced its work tape version.
• The singer played "Angel Down" to Mark Ronson in late 2015, who later produced the official rendition of the track, along with BloodPop. → In late 2015, she played "Angel Down" to Mark Ronson, who later produced the official rendition of the track, along with BloodPop.
• Don't wikilink social media
• Italicize New York Times/T Gala
• and interpolated → interpolating

All done, besides noted. infsai (talkie? UwU) 20:38, 9 March 2023 (UTC)

Background and development

• I think the rest of this first paragraph fits better in the next section
• Replace the next part to it and join in the first paragraph: Its acoustic version, officially released with the moniker work tape, was written and produced in 2015, with Gaga handling piano and vocals, while RedOne played on guitar and also programmed the track. This rendition of the song was recorded in Woodshed Studios in Malibu, California by Trevor Muzzy and Alekes Von Korff, mixed by RedOne and T.I Jakke in RedOne Studios in Los Angeles, while the mastering was handled by Tom Coyne and Randy Merrill in New York-based Sterling Sound Studios.
• Change while to when
• They finished production of the new version of the track alongside → They finished the new version’s production alongside
• , Pink Duck Studios session was taken by Blair and assisted by Justin Smith, and another take done in Electric Lady Studios was recorded by Blair with the help of Barry McCready. It was mixed by Ben Baptie at Atomic Studios in New York, while mastering was handled by Coyne and Merrill in Sterling Sound Studios. → , while the Pink Duck Studios session was taken by Blair and assisted by Justin Smith. Another take, done in Electric Lady Studios, was recorded by Blair with the help of Barry McCready. It was mixed by Ben Baptie at Atomic Studios in New York, with the mastering handled by Coyne and Merrill in Sterling Sound Studios.

Music and lyrics

• Start the next section with this text: “Angel Down” was influenced by the killing of Trayvon Martin in 2012. During the interview with New Zealand DJ Zane Lowe, Gaga compared murders of young African-Americans to an epidemic, saying she is overwhelmed by the apathy of society on the issue. She asked "How can I not say something?", since making "an album about twerking [her] ass off in the club" felt "empty" and "irrelevant" to her. During her 2022 tour, The Chromatica Ball, Gaga further referred to "Angel Down" as a "song about America".
• The final version of "Angel Down" is → Its final version is
• It is a torch song with a "lush sonic pallet". Featuring "backward loops and dreamy psychedelic flourishes", it is a piano-driven ballad touching on subjects of religion and the US shootings. → It is a torch song with a "lush sonic pallet”, and also a piano-driven ballad touching on subjects of religion and the US shootings, featuring "backward loops and dreamy psychedelic flourishes”.
• the singer reveals → she reveals

  Done infsai (talkie? UwU) 20:38, 9 March 2023 (UTC)

• The file is fine

Critical reception

• Wikilink NME
• HuffPost's Daniel Welsh → Daniel Welsh from HuffPost
• Lewis Corner, "Angel Down" is → Lewis Corner, it is
• Delete of the track after version
• You should trim The Atlantics review

Done besides the last one for now. infsai (talkie? UwU) 20:38, 9 March 2023 (UTC)

Live performances

• Italicize New York Times/T Gala
• Complete date. October 19, ?
• After her main set was over, she climbed on the roof of the bar, and performed "Angel Down" and "Joanne" to the crowd → After her main set was over, she climbed on the bar's roof to sing "Angel Down" and "Joanne" to the crowd who gathered outside
• prior track → prior song
• She performed the song → She performed it
• Preceding the track → Preceding the song
• which are → which were

All done infsai (talkie? UwU) 20:38, 9 March 2023 (UTC)

Credits and personnel

• Add a source, it can be the booklet
• You can use ''', instead of ==, for Recording locations and Personnel

  Initially I used ''', however other user changed it into sections :v infsai (talkie? UwU) 20:38, 9 March 2023 (UTC)

  I encourage you to do this again. GagaNutella^talk 00:33, 14 March 2023 (UTC)

Notes

• They also need to be sourced, I think the booklet works

References

• Copy violation score looks great at 20.0%%
• Wikilink all |work= or |publisher= parameters
• Digital Spy is not italics
• Wikilink Joanne
• Add the |url-access= parameter: Los Angeles Times, The Times, The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Music Week

Comments

So this is my review.  On hold until all of the issues are fixed. GagaNutella^talk 05:17, 9 March 2023 (UTC)

@GagaNutella: Hey, thanks for sucha quick review! I'm gonna work on issues you listed after I get back home, but regarding a source in Credits section, someone earlier said to me that the source is not needed per WP:PERSONNEL infsai (talkie? UwU) 10:55, 9 March 2023 (UTC)

So, for now I did only stuff in the lead, reception, and live performances sections. I'll work on the rest tomorrow, and please issue my notes @GagaNutella:. And about your comments regarding first two sections, I'm not quite sure what you want me exactly to do here, can you emphasize more? infsai (talkie? UwU) 20:38, 9 March 2023 (UTC)

You should delete the "It was influenced by" part and put it in the next section with the changes I've suggested. In its place, you'll put that excerpt "Its acoustic version". Did you understand? I saw that Sricsi deleted some parts, but it's fine. GagaNutella^talk 00:33, 14 March 2023 (UTC)

Okay, I'll try to apply to the rest of your suggestions until the end of the week. infsai (talkie? UwU) 15:04, 15 March 2023 (UTC)

@GagaNutella: Sorry for being late, but I guess I'm finally done with the article! Please check it if I implemented your suggestions correctly! :) infsai (talkie? UwU) 23:03, 22 March 2023 (UTC)

About the delay, it's fine! Great work on creating this article. ✓ Pass now. GagaNutella^talk 03:06, 23 March 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.