Talk:Andronikos Angelos Doukas/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Iazyges (talk · contribs) 19:06, 20 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Will start soon. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 19:06, 20 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria

GA Criteria

GA Criteria:

1
1.a Y

1.b Y
2
2.a Y

2.b Y

2.c Y

2.d Y (3.8%, due only to name of citation being said in source.)
3
3.a Y

3.b Y
4
4.a Y
5
5.a Y
6
6.a Y

6.b Y

No DAB links Y
No Dead links Y
Images appropriately licensed Y

Prose Suggestions

Under his cousin, Manuel I Komnenos, he served suggest Under the reign of his cousin, Emperor Manuel I Komnenos, he served
- Changed, with "during" rather than "under". Constantine ✍ 08:55, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
and eventually joined him. suggest and later defected to him.
- Done. Constantine ✍ 08:55, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
who became an all-powerful minister during the reign of Andronikos' son I'd suggest changing this unless he truly held all the power in the Empire, which, given the eponymous level of bureaucracy, seems unlikely.
- "All-powerful" is a rather apt description, he was the virtual ruler of the empire. Precisely because of this bureaucracy, whoever was at the apex of the pyramid had enormous and unchallenged power. Constantine ✍ 08:55, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Andronikos is first recorded in the sources recommend either mentioning what sources are being used (may wish to make a section under Sources giving primary sources regardless), or removing in the sources.
- Changed to the more generic "historical sources", to indicate that this is his first appearance in surviving historical evidence. Constantine ✍ 08:55, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
vanguard in the campaign against the Seljuk Sultanate of Iconium. is the name of the campaign given? Can't imagine Rum and Byzantium only went head to head once, given they fought Rus' more than that, and they were allies for a long time.
- It is mentioned in the next sentence that this was the Myriokephalon campaign. Constantine ✍ 08:55, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Shortly after, Andronikos tried to divorce his wife, Euphrosyne Kastamonitissa, and marry his mistress, but the Emperor and the synod forbade him to do so. is there any relationship between the previous failure and this? I.e. was he refused because of his failure, or is this just giving a relative time period?
- No indication of this in the sources, although it may have played a role. Constantine ✍ 08:55, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
marching onto Constantinople what does onto mean? Recommend switch to to, as he reached the city. on would also work, although it doesn't appear, from the writing here, that much violence (i.e. a siege) occurred, which is what on is really for.
- Changed to "on". Constantine ✍ 08:55, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Cplakidas: That is all my comments. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 14:29, 25 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again for taking the time Iazyges! Your comments have been addressed. Constantine ✍ 08:55, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]