Talk:Andranik/GA2

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: 1ST7 (talk · contribs) 03:16, 6 November 2013 (UTC)

Hi again, Yerevanci. I'll review this article. Initial comments will hopefully be posted soon. --1ST7 (talk) 03:16, 6 November 2013 (UTC)

Hello again! Thank you for willing to review this article. I have worked on it for almost a year (although the current version is from September), so I'm expecting a thorough review from you. Thank you again! --Երևանցի ^talk 03:35, 6 November 2013 (UTC)

I did some copyediting; I hope that's alright with you. Here's the review:

1. Well-written
   • The phrase "Andranik failed to defend Erzurum for a long time" is a little unclear.

   I agree, that sentence is kind of awkward. What I wanted to say is that he defend Erzurum for a little more than a month, which was basically a failure (although it was not his fault).
   How about "Andranik led the defense of Erzurum in the early 1918, but was forced to retreat eastward"?

   That works. --1ST7 (talk) 01:18, 10 November 2013 (UTC)

    Done

   • This is a run-on sentence: "Numerous statues of Andranik have been erected in several countries, streets and squares have been named after Andranik, keeping his memory high among Armenians."

    Fixed

   • I don't understand what this means: "Andranik retreated Kars–Alexandropol–Vorontsovka–Jalaloghly–Dsegh."

    Fixed That is the route of his retreat.

   • "estimated 3 to 5 thousand men" - on Wikipedia, numerals are used for numbers above ten; for numbers below ten, words are used. This should be either "3,000 to 5,000" or "three to five thousand".

    Fixed

   • "A memorial was built on his grave with the phrase Զորավար Հայոց (literally translating to "General of the Armenians") engraved on it." It would be better to have the Armenian words transliterated rather than using the Armenian script.

    Fixed

   • "villages of Tavush, in Gyumri's Victory Park (1994),[138] Arteni,[139] Angeghakot,[140] etc..." Instead of "etc.", please put "and others".

    Fixed

2. Verifiable with no original research:
   • Reference no. 122, 125, 127, and 152 are dead links.

   I found and replaced refs 122, 125 and 127 with the archived links and corrected the link for ref 152.

3. Broad in its coverage:
4. Neutral:
   • "Between 7,000 and 10,000 Armenians were massacred during the two months of the uprising..." Question: were these civilians or fighters?

   Apparently civilians, because the number of the fighters was around 1,500 (fedayi+local men). Maybe I need to specify that? --Երևանցի ^talk 23:09, 9 November 2013 (UTC

   Yes, please specify that. --1ST7 (talk) 01:18, 10 November 2013 (UTC)

    Done

5. Stable:
6. Illustrated, if possible, by images:

Overall, you've done an excellent job on this article and covering a very important subject. I'll put the article on hold for a week to give you time to address the above issues. --1ST7 (talk) 08:43, 9 November 2013 (UTC)

All above points have been addressed, so I'm going to pass this. Congratulations, and thanks for the work you have put into the article! --1ST7 (talk) 06:52, 10 November 2013 (UTC)