Talk:Amitabha Buddhist Centre/GA1

GA nomination

I have taken the liberty of expanding the lead section of this article so that it better complies with WP:LEAD. The other thing that the article needs is a good copyedit by someone who has English as a first language.

I'm putting this article on hold as it is close to GA status. However, the copyediting must be done before GA status can be awarded. I hope this can be addressed within the seven days allowed by on hold, and wish you all the best with your editing. -- Johnfos 00:32, 30 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your earlier review, intro edit and feedback. As a follow up, I've wikified the article for prose and style and included an infobox as the article was earlier reviewed by 2 WikiProjects for quality & content without receiving any further comments. Kindly review again and highlight any specific concerns. Fyi, English is taught as our first language and our Mother's tongue as our 2nd language in our schools in Singapore. Rgds -- Aldwinteo 04:30, 30 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the further editing you have kindly done. However, we seem to have lost this paragraph from the lead:

Amitabha Buddhist Centre is affiliated to the Foundation for the Preservation of the Mahayana Tradition (FPMT), an international non-profit organisation, founded by the late Lama Thubten Yeshe. The history of ABC can be traced to 1984 when Lama Yeshe first visited Singapore with Thubten Zopa Rinpoche.

I think this is important information, highlighted on the ABC website, and it helps the lead to be a better summary of the article which, after all, is one of the things we are aiming for.

If you check carefully, the whole para is nearly intact except for the line "The history of ABC can be traced to 1984 when Lama Yeshe first visited Singapore with Thubten Zopa Rinpoche." which was removed by mistake during my recent copyedit done offline. I've added the missing line back. My apologies. -- Aldwinteo 10:41, 3 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I'm also not too sure about the Infobox, as it seems to be equating the ABC with the actual building. I guess 2006 is when the building opened, whereas ABC started in 1989. Please clarify.

The infobox was incorporated to provide basic information for the building concerned. The year mentioned in the field, in this case "2006", shows when it was officially opened. I've added the word "building" next to the date in case someone is confused with its association prior to the reading of the whole article. -- Aldwinteo 10:41, 3 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

In terms of the copyediting, I will put a tag on the article to attract the attention of an editor who can help with this. As a specific example, the first sentence of the main text should start with "Originating in Tibet..." rather than "Originated from Tibet..."

I'm fine with the tag, as long as the necessary copyedit to be done helps to improve its quality without compromising its content and value. At times, a writer may not spot his own typos easily while in the process of creating or rewriting its content. Even a professional writer does engaged a third party to proof-read and copyedit. -- Aldwinteo 10:41, 3 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Hope this helps... Johnfos 07:18, 3 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Seven days have passed and I have to let you know that your GA nomination has not been successful. I still have reservations about the lead section, infobox, and the English expression. Once the article is improved please consider re-submitting it. regards, Johnfos 05:58, 9 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]