Talk:Amerzone/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: AdrianGamer (talk · contribs) 15:50, 3 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The game looks interesting. I should be able to complete the review before next week.

Infobox/Lead

Anuman Interactive is a port developer and should not be listed
Remove unlinkable engine per Template:video game reviews
Some citations in the release fields seem to be in the wrong place. You can actually remove them per WP:LEADCITE
June 6–7, 2011? Why it has two release dates?
published by Microïds and designed by Benoît Sokal - Infobox calls Microïds is the game's developer instead of publisher
Development information is too light in the game's lead. I suggest to add a new paragraph summarizing the game's development and move who based it on his 1986 Inspector Canardo comic strip L'Amerzone. to it
Plot was covered too much in the lead. It differs from the comic, however, in adding a player character (the journalist) who continues Valembois's quest as the man nears death. can be cut.
Gameplay information is needed for the lead
Amerzone received generally positive reception. - "a" positive reception, or generally positive "reviews"
with critics claiming that it lent it a poetic and dreamlike quality - don't know what "it" is. visuals?
It was a great commercial success, with over 1 million copies sold in its original release - remove "great", change "in its original release" to "since its original release". When exactly did the game reach this sales figure?

Plot

The setting section definitely needs source, especially claims like "inspired by the real-life Amazon rainforest" and "tend to resemble real-life animals, but with bizarre flourishes"
Is it really necessary to mention the game's setting in such in-depth way? The flora comprises mostly herbaceous plants such as the orchid-like Orcochi, Their wings keep growing after the rest of their bodies has stopped, such that they end up disproportionately long. are not really useful.
Character list does not really seem to add any significant plot point and can be merged to the character section.
corrupted by power and leading his once-beloved country into ruin. - "leads"
The overall plot section is a bit too long. I wonder if the part about 1932–1934: the Valembois expedition or the 1998: the journalist plays more significant role in the game's overall plot. You should omit the details of the less important one.
he learns of the White Birds from one Luis Angel - Who is Luis Angel?
He narrowly escapes death when the hook catches on an ill-tempered rhinopotamus - Not an important plot point

Gameplay

by clicking on them - not needed
Players and the player, choose one
but instead serve to flesh out the game's plot: this is the purpose of the explorer's journal and Valembois's letter. - Rephrase it to but instead serve to flesh out the game's plot, such as the explorer's journal and Valembois's letter."
The first paragraph of the gameplay section is unsourced.

Development

His comic publisher, Casterman, approved of the idea - Remove "of"
Sokal began work - began "to" work
but he soon left the project - Does the source mention why?
I would name the subsection heading as "Design" instead of "Pre-production". More accurate this way.
Do not really understand what and failure states in which the player character is killed. means
The latter's skills were applied to the game's more complex visual effects, such as dust particles being buffeted about. - unsourced
In an interiew with JATV, he was quoted as saying: "I recall that [for] the first chapters of Amerzone, I modeled everything because I wanted to be on top, but it was impossible of course. So little by little, people made their way into the team and started modeling, and I told myself it made me sick but... in a way it was a revolution in my mind!" - Do not see the need of having a lengthy quote like this. The experience made Sokal overcome his misgivings about working collaboratively had summed it up very nicely.
In 1997, Casterman had fallen on hard times - Rephrase it to "In 1997, Casterman suffered from financial troubles"
Microfolie themselves went bankrupt - When?
was "saved" when Microïds - Do not need quotation marks here
bought them out - Who is "them"?
A day-to-night progression was scrapped, as was a requirement to feed and hydrate the journalist, since this would have created frustrating failure states. - needs source to support
re-released or rereleased, choose one
and collaborated with the Tetraedge team. - at what role he collaborated with them? adviser, consultant?
Comparison with source material section is not useful and trivial, unless they are significantly covered by reliable sources.

Release

Amerzone was released in France on 4 CD-ROMs to It is identical to the iOS release. can be merged to the "Later development" subsection. "Later development" can be changed to "Release and marketing"
The release section barely has any source to support.

Reception

It should have its own section
I am under the impression that the section is a bit too simple. For instance, how critics liked the storyline and atmosphere of the game. Why they liked them, or why critics thought point-and-click interface was cumbersome or awkward
The legacy section is again unsourced

Sources

Sources formatting is not good. accessdates are missing
Is there any English reliable sources that can be used to cover the game's gameplay?

Overall

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list corporation:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:

B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

This is a very interesting article, and it is always good to see someone putting efforts translating and working on an old game. This is a massive improvement for the article, but there is currently a lot of issues holding it back from being a GA, especially problems with the lead, sources and the reception section. It is getting there, but it still needs a lot of work. AdrianGamer (talk) 15:11, 4 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@AdrianGamer:Thanks for the feedback! I'll take care of the issues you brought up, time permitting. I noticed that you flagged several statements as unsourced. The reasoning behind my editing was that whenever a paragraph used at most one reference ("Planete Aventure" gets cited a lot in this article), I figured it would be pointless giving every single sentence a footnote. I can see now that this is bad practice.

I share your opinion of the Setting section. I was trying to follow the structure of the French article, which unfortunately includes a lot of waffling despite its FA status (dig the illustrated chapter-by-chapter plot summary).

I would advocate keeping the Valembois Expedition plot section, since that's a big chunk of the narrative and the one most closely related to the comic. Without that section, I would constantly have to interrupt the 1998 section with explanations of offscreen events (the sperm whale incident, Yekoumani, Alvarez's coup, etc.).

"Character list does not really seem to add any significant plot point and can be merged to the character section." You mean the plot section, right?

I shouldn't have too much of a problem filling out the citations—the French article seems fine in that regard. I will also try to find English sources. --Serpinium (talk) 17:11, 4 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, the plot section. Sorry for my mistake. And for the plot section, I suggest trimming some information, as it stands it is a bit too long for a video game article. AdrianGamer (talk) 09:42, 5 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Serpinium: Can I get a progress update? AdrianGamer (talk) 14:09, 9 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@AdrianGamer: I got held up finding sources for the publishing and distribution. Turns out the Frenchman used Amazon as a source for release information, which I believe is not allowed, and there's very little info available on the Web. I still don't know how Ubisoft/DreamCatcher/The Adventure Company split up distribution, or whether Microids co-published with Casterman.

Unfortunately, higher education is currently distracting me from important things, so I only get to edit on weekends. I will do my best to finish up though. --Serpinium (talk) 15:54, 9 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

No worries. You can take your time. AdrianGamer (talk) 12:12, 10 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Serpinium: Will it better if I close the review instead? It seems you really don't have much time to work on the article. AdrianGamer (talk) 06:48, 29 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@AdrianGamer: Yes, that would be for the best. I'll finish it someday. --Serpinium (talk) 08:21, 29 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]