Talk:American logistics in the Northern France campaign/GA1
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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 03:18, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
I'll take this review on. It may take me a few days to work through it, though. Hog Farm Bacon 03:18, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
- Background
- There's several instances of "would be". In various GA/ACR article's I've sent through the reviewing process, multiple editors have strongly objected to most instances of the would be phrasing as excessively passive voice
- Except that "would be" is not the passive voice; it's the past future tense. Removed a couple of instances though. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- "The Overlord plan called for the capture of Cherbourg by D plus 8" - Probably best to have a brief gloss stating what D plus 8 means. I understand this, but readers without a good military history background may not.
- Added a parenthetical explanation. In some other articles I have eschewed the use of this idiom, but the problem here is that D-Day moved. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- Breakout and pursuit
- " as a deception formation" - Is there a link for this? I understand what this indicates, but it's not a particularly common phrase.
- Added a bit, with a link to Operation Fortitude. It doesn't explain "deception" either though... Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- " There were significant differences in the way Patton, a cavalryman, and Bradley and the VIII Corps commander, Major General Troy H. Middleton, who were both infantrymen" - I'd recommend linking to cavalry and infantry at the respective points, which would help underscore the difference for the uninformed.
- Added links. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- "and SHAEF had" - This is the first appearance of SHAEF. What does the acronym stand for?
- An artifact of splitting the original article in tow. I was afraid of this. Added an explanation. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- POL
- "The MT80 supply was adequate for the first month of Operation Cobra" - First mention of MT80, link or gloss what it is
- Another artefact. Added an explanation. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- "with the First Army burning 501,000 US gallons (1,900,000 l) per day (282,000 US gallons (1,070,000 l) on 24 August alone)" - This is an odd clause. You state that it was using 501,000 gallons of fuel per day, indicating an average, but then call out a number barely half of that as if it is a significant usage. I think there's a minor phrasing error here somewhere.
- Typo. Should have 782,000 gallons (2,125 tons). Aside: the Germans measured their fuel in cubic metres. Fortunately, the mental conversion to kilolitres is pretty easy. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- Link C-ration
- Linked. Another artefact. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
And that's through the end of the POL section. More to come, but I've only found minor prose comments so far. Looking like a great article. Hog Farm Bacon 04:46, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- Due to the split, it has already passed GA and A class once; problems arise from the split itself. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- Railways
- LCT needs a link or gloss, ideally spell it out, since it's the first (only?) appearance in the article.
- Same with LST
- Motor transport
- Move the Red Ball link from here up to where it's first used post-lead in the POL section
- Used first here now. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:16, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
Through the motor transport section. More to come later. Hog Farm Bacon 20:39, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- Ports
- Link mole to the relevant article, since this usage is arguably less well-known than the burrowing mammal
- Done. Never seen one of the animals; there are not native. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:04, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
- We've got them out the wazoo where I live; I know some people who have trained their dogs to hunt them. Quality article, passing now. Hog Farm Bacon 01:34, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
- Done. Never seen one of the animals; there are not native. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:04, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
- Link Liberty ships
- Duplinks
- First United States Army
- Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:04, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
- Courtney Hodges
- Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:04, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
- Captions
- "[A jerrican depot" - Remove the extraneous bracket
- Removed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:04, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
- Final note
- The air supply section should be briefly referenced in the lead
- Added a bit. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:04, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
That's it I believe. Heck of an article. Hog Farm Bacon 23:34, 14 August 2020 (UTC)