Talk:American goldfinch/Archive 1

• Review the whole thing for links per WP:MOSDATE. There's no reason to link e.g. July.
• Also make a good run to strip spaces before refs.
• revise references in a Last, First format.
• Article switches between "color" and "colour" (double check other spelling: it seems to use both "molt" and "moult").
• I think that the plural, as used in Common Raven, goes much better for bird articles. Compare "The American Goldfinch is found in residential areas [...]" vs. "American Goldfinches are found in residential areas [...]"

Intro

• The entire leads need to be rewritten. Prose is at best subpar, at worst horrid. Certainly not "engaging, even brilliant." Consider starting with "is a bird..." (cf. WP:OBVIOUS)
• It fails to account for the "human relationships" section.
• This is the state bird of Iowa, New Jersey, and Washington.
  1. Facts only in leads are frowned upon. Can probably be worked into the aforementioned section.
  2. Source each state separately (see List of U.S. state birds for sources)
  3. "This is" ? Come on!
• There's a status_ref field for that IUCN ref.

Taxonomy

• The wording is misleading. Was the bird first in Carduelis, then moved to Spinus, then replaced in Carduelis, or in Spinus since Linnaeus and then places in Carduelis? Looks like the former, but I can't tell because of the darned zoological authority.
• What makes this species a member of subgenus Spinus?
• Consider sourcing the merging to a more direct source, if only because the linked page is hardly legible (doi:10.1007/BF01673245 is Ackerman 1967, fr the record).
• The source for the species epithet etymology only confirms the meaning of "tristis", it dioes not draw any link to the call.
• referring to feeding preferences.
  • Subpar prose
• The genus name of the American Goldfinch, carduelis
  • "The genus name Carduelis"
• Spinus was merged into the genus Carduelis, and retained as a subgenus
• stronger white markings, and larger black cap of males
  • Drop these commas

Description

• I personally think starting sections with images on the left is poor layout practice.

• 

  My name is  . I prevent this from happening.

  Measurements should have non-breaking spaces between the number and units.
• weighs from 11 to 20 g
  • "between 11 and 20 g"
• The shape and size of the beak are a result of adaptation, to aid in the extraction of seedss from the seed heads of thistless, sunflowerss, and the other plants which make up its diet.
  • What is this doing in a "Description" section?
• The second half of the second paragraph is unsourced. At least source the "only finch to undergo full moult" bit!
• Decide whether you want to use "moult" or "molt" and stick to it!
• I think it is proper to capitalize "golfinch" when it is used as an abbreviation of "American Goldfinch"
• possesses different colouring
  • "is coloured differently"
• Is "upperparts" the proper word?
• buff-coloured, rather than white, markings
  • I'm not sure that second comma is needed.
• This coloration is identical regardless of gender.
  • "This coloration is the same in both genders"

Distribution and habitat

• Consider reducing the number of paragraphs here.
• is bounded on the north by Saskatchewan, and stretches south across the North American continent to North Carolina in the east and northern California in the west.
  • Move the comma from after "Saskatchewan" to after "east"
• Link range (biology) when describing the summer, not the winter one.  Done
• "Includes X, Y to Z" for regions is not a regular construction.
• In winter, in the northern part of its range
• In southern ranges, during winter
  • No need to specify "in/during winter!"

Conservation status

• This has several issues:
  • It doesn't seem to sit well there.
  • It's a single paragraph section
  • It creates a lone subsection (which you know I don't like (-: )
• The North American Breeding Bird Survey, which tracks the population of common bird species, has shown a decline in the breeding populations of American Goldfinch.
  • Consider rewording this garden path sentence

Behaviour and diet

• Once the eggs have been laid, this aggressiveness fades.
  • reverse the sentence for simplicity

Diet

• though it will occasionally eat insects
  • "but will occasionally"
• Its diet consists of the seeds from a wide variety of annual plants, often weed seeds, such as the seeds of grasses and trees, such as thistle, teasel, dandelion, ragweed, mullein, cosmos, goatsbeard, sunflower, and alder.
  • There's something fishy there. Maybe the way it switches between seeds and weeds themselves?
• The feeding on insects is mentioned twice.
• Though some finches use their feet sparingly in feeding, the American Goldfinch uses its feet extensively.
  • "The American Goldfinch is amongst those finches that use their feet extensively in feeding."
• in order to more easily reach the seeds.
  • "in order to reach the seeds more easily."
• inaccessible to some potential competitors
  • "to potential competitors"
• What is the whole discussion of lifespan doing here??
• The lifespan of the American Goldfinch
  • "The American Goldfinch's lifespan"
• Drop the comma after "squirrels"

Reproduction

• Two or three pairs may group their territories together in a loose colony, perhaps to aid in defense against predatorss.
  • "may" → often
• height of up to 10 m (1-30 ft)above
  • Missing space
• vines, and grass
  • No comma
• The rim of the nest
  • Just "The rim" will do
• bound by spiderweb and caterpillar silk
  • Is it a normal feature? I'd really like to see a source for that.
• the cup of the nest
  • Again, drop "of the nest"
• lined with plant down from milkweed, thistle, or cattail.
  • My ESL fails me... what does "plant down" means?
  • No comma after "thistle"
• can hold water; it is possible
  • "can hold water, and it is possible"
• The inside diameter of the finished nest is about 6.5 cm.
  • Maybe this can be integrated a bit earlier in the paragraph? it seems vaguely out of place here.
• It is thought that they are laid during the night.
  • Why? By who? Consider "theorized," "suggested" or "postulated."
• Like all passeriness, the chicks are altricial
  • hum... I don't think passerines are altricial chicks.
• and completing the growth of olive-brown juvenile plumage 11 to 15 days after hatching, when they first practice short flights close to the nest.
  • Link these phrases in a different fashions. It seems to draw a connection that makes no sense.
• They are still fed by the male for up to three weeks after fledging, who locates them by listening for their fledging call.
  • Rework this sentence to place the relative next to its antecedent.
• When the chicks become entirely independent, they no longer give this call.
  • "The chicks stop giving this call when they become entirely independent"

Relationship with humans

• The first paragraph needs a good streamlining to remove redundancies.
• An article in the Wall Street Journal [...], it is contended that feeding by humans fosters the spread of disease
  • Ahem
• These articles have been contested by a number of ornithological organizations.
  • But only one article has been mentioned! "Rumors"?
• Clearing of woodlands causes changes in bird populations as the environment is changed
  • This is probably pushing WP:OBVIOUS too much.

Bottom sections

• Per WP:GTL, switch "External links" and "Further reading" around
• I recommend dropping the "Theses" part of "Further reading". It's just too restricted to be of used.
• That's one hefty bibliography! Maybe some/many of these could be used to actually improve the article instead of sitting there?
• Quite a few of these can be supplement with external links, either direct or via DOIs and PMIDs. Auk, Wilson Bulletin and Journal of Field Ornithology are fully available online via SORA, for example. Johnson 1998 is abstracted at doi:10.1093/beheco/4.2.138, Marsh 1982 is PMID 6211105, McGraw 2004 is doi:10.1111/j.1439-0310.2004.01011.x...