Talk:American Thermos Bottle Company Laurel Hill Plant/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cptnono (talk · contribs) 00:07, 18 January 2015 (UTC)

Review to follow.Cptnono (talk) 00:07, 18 January 2015 (UTC)

• Is "The complex also isis also architecturally significant" more common?
• "The house of Dr. William H. Mason was also on the property and was also a part of the purchase" too many "alsos"?
• "A contract was signed on February 14, 1912, it would make Norwich the home of the Thermos Plant and that Thermos would use Norwich's name on its advertising." I understand what you are saying but I believe some different punctuation or wording would make it easier to read.
• "Thermos products produced in Norwich bear a stamp "Made in Norwich". Should it be "bear the stamp" or "bear a stamp,"?
• "The operations expanded into nearby Taftville, Connecticut and together the plants" needs a comma after Connecticut (I think).
• Again, the following sentence might benefit from some tinkering: "Laid out roughly north to south along the Thames River, the American Thermos Bottle Company Laurel Hill Plant is a mixture of interconnected buildings and stand-alone structures that used to comprise three propane sheds (Buildings 63, 64 and 65) near the Human Resources building (Building 87) and its storage shed (Building 30) and a gatehouse (Building 61)."
• Were HR and R&D both in building 87?
• Consider adjusting "The storage buildings are connected to the largest building, the Manufacturing Building (Building 3), which is next to the Manufacturing Glass House (Building 5) and Glass House 2 (Building 32) which also served as storage. Connected at the southernmost portion of the plant is the Glass House Cullet & Mix House (Number 7) and the Compressor & Auxiliary Generator building (Number 9)."
• "The original plant consisted of the company offices and the large Manufacturing Building was constructed from 1912 to 1913." could use a comma or slight adjustment.
• The second instance of "Dr. William H. Mason" in the body can simply be "Mason".
• Second use of pre- is flipped to rad "per-kindergarten"
• Should ref 7 "Pacific Standard Magazine" be italicized?
• Do you think the first section would be better as "Background" instead of "History" since much of the article discusses historical facts? Also, would "Modern use" be slightly more accurate than "Current use" (1990 was while ago)? I'll leave those up to your discretion.
• Another image would be nice but is not needed.
• I would prefer to not promote an article with a 1 paragraph lead. It seems like a good summary but can it be broken up or even slightly expanded?
• If you want to go past GA, a quick line about the movie would be useful.

Cptnono (talk) 00:33, 18 January 2015 (UTC)

Did all the fixes - save the image one because of NFCC concerns. I cannot use the NRHP photos or other non-free images to illustrate the article per image policies. @Cptnono:, good catch on the double 87. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 06:12, 18 January 2015 (UTC)

That was quick. Excellent work.Cptnono (talk) 06:18, 18 January 2015 (UTC)