Talk:Amber 31422/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Glimmer721 (talk · contribs) 02:20, 8 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I will be reviewing this article shortly. A little bit about myself in relation to this: I have never seen Fringe, though it seems to be something I am interested in. The only other article I have reviewed for GA is The Sue Sylvester Shuffle, which passed. I have written two GA articles, Chasing Vermeer and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, which were both books; however, I have expanded into television territory with Doctor Who related articles ("Amy's Choice" and "The Time of Angels" are currently at GAN) and am familiar with the format. Glimmer721 ^talk 02:20, 8 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Overall this is a great article; no major work is needed. The main issue I had was some in-universe perspective in the plot section which contained some things that people unfamiliar with the show, like me, might not understand. Here are a few inital comments:

In the lead, it mentions the two brothers, and later it mentions the "Rose brothers". Perhaps it would be clearer if their last name (at least) was given first, or not given in the last mentioning.
Who is Walternate? A little searching and I gleaned it was the parallel universe duplicate of a main character, Walter; maybe this should be mentioned, as the plot section gives no introduction to that.
Ditto with Peter; a link to his main article and a few words of description as to his relationship to Olivia: is he her boyfriend? Husband? Friend? Colleague? It must be something significant to bother her.
Please wikilink "Cortexiphan" to Mythology of Fringe#Cortexiphan.
It may be worth linking "amber" again in the plot section (it was previously linked in the lead; per WP:REPEATLINK this is okay).
Who is Astrid? Perhaps a wikilink to Astrid Farnsworth (which redirects to her section in List of Fringe characters) would help, as well as a little intro "Olivia has her assistant, Astrid, identify..."
Ditto with Charlie and Lincoln. They are explained in the production section, but as the plot comes first they need an introduction there.

The rest appears very solid, though I will go over it thoroughly in the near future. Glimmer721 ^talk 02:49, 8 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the review! You did just fine for a newbie :) I believe I have addressed all of your comments. Ruby comment! 03:07, 8 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

BTW I'm also a big The Hunger Games fan, and first thought your character was named after it! Then I read your bio page and figured it out :) Good luck expanding those articles! Ruby comment! 03:10, 8 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. The only other issue I have is ref #19, which is a blogging/social networking site. As it is part of a trio of refs supporting the statment, it probably only needs to be removed, not replaced. Then this can pass! Glimmer721 ^talk 19:20, 8 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Done! Ruby comment! 20:30, 8 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good! I will pass this, then. Glimmer721 ^talk 22:31, 8 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]