Talk:Alvin Dark/GA1
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 08:16, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
I'll pick this one up, review coming as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 08:16, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]- Al is a common hypochrism of Alvin so probably doesn't need listing per WP:OPENPARA.
- Link World Series at the end of the first paragraph.
- What does "lettered" mean, is it a common term in American sports? Is there a possible link for it?
- Not sure myself - changed to played. I think that was there before I started working on the article! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 19:39, 3 March 2021 (UTC)
- Link the 1954 World Series as well.
- Is the statement about him not being in the Hall of Fame, bit Rizzuto and Reese being in, relevant to the lead? Is it a well noted point that he hasn't been inducted?
- It summarizes his career by referring to his career totals, and it is a point that's made in the SABR article on him. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 19:41, 3 March 2021 (UTC)
- "accused him of making racist comments, though, and he was fired", is though needed here, it seems to be making the sentence unnecessarily clunky?
Military service
[edit]- "Upon his return to the states in", I'm assuming States should be capitalised here?
New York Giants (1950–56)
[edit]- Link Associated Press.
- Do we know what Conley was calling Dark in his rantbor are you censoring it?
- The quote is the way it appears in Dark's autobiography. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 19:43, 3 March 2021 (UTC)
Later years
[edit]- "After batting 297" and "batted 295, there are no periods before these mentions whereas the rest seem to use them, I'm assuming that's an oversight?
- "Dark had a role in one of baseball history's weirdest plays", weirdest sounds a little informal, perhaps strangest or most unusual?
- "with a count of 3-1", use an endash for scorelines.
- "Because the ball was still in play, and because Delmore", the double use of because is a little repetitive. Could just start the sentence with As perhaps?
Manager
[edit]- Link Sports Illustrated.
- Temper tantrum seems to depict him as being rather childish. Perhaps something like angry outburst or fit of rage?
- "slumped to a 62-99 record" and "triumphs in 1972-73", use an endash for scores, year ranges or records.
References
[edit]- Refs are well formatted and a spot check on a few comes back fine. Nothing of concern there.
Nice work, a couple of minor points above but this is pretty much ready to I would say. Placed on hold for now while these are addressed. Kosack (talk) 20:27, 2 March 2021 (UTC)
- All my comments have been suitably addressed, happy to promote. Kosack (talk) 11:43, 4 March 2021 (UTC)