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GA Review

[edit]

Hi, I am reviewing your article for GA. I will be posting comments below. I would like to say that this seems like a well written and well referenced article with obviously a lot of care put into its development. —Mattisse (Talk) 23:33, 5 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Bolding in the lead should be confined to the beginning of the article and not scattered throughout. I realize that these are alternate names. I do not know how best to resolve this problem in the article.
  • I am wondering if, under System, the last paragraph should not come first as it explains what a system is.
  • I think that G-type star should be piped as one link to G-type star, rather than have two adjacent links, one to G-type and the other to star, as G V star link explains that it is a star
  • "The double is optical and not a binary star." What does this mean, as I thought that you explained in the article that it was a binary star?
  • Variability of primary - this is the first mention of primary. What is meant by this? (Excuse my ignorance!)
  • It is best to avoid the passive voice, as it "It is thought that these peculiarities..."; it is better to say who thought this. Another example, "so is thought to be...".
Taking your comments in order:
  1. I rewrote the lead to confine boldface to the first sentence.
  2. It seemed clearest to develop the facts about the system in the order of their discovery. I have attempted to clarify the meaning of system in the lead.
  3. The luminosity class of the G-type star is not known, so it would be misleading to link to G V star, which only discusses stars of spectral type G and luminosity class V. It could be e.g. a giant G-type star of luminosity class III.
  4. There are three stars discussed in the article. The first two, A (mass 3.6 solar masses) and Aa (mass 1.8 solar masses) are in close physical proximity. The third, B (mass unknown, spectral type G), appears near to A and Aa on the sky but is not physically associated with them. I have rewritten the article to attempt to clarify this point.
  5. Primary means the bigger or brighter star of the pair, in this case, A. I have attempted to clarify this in the article.
  6. I have rephrased the passages in question.
Spacepotato (talk) 02:30, 6 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • since Andromeda (constellation) does not give etymology, I believe there should be some explanation here in the Etymology section.
  • what is a "mercury-manganese star"
  • I suggest splitting "system": the first paragraph should form an "Observation" and the rest form a separate "Characteristics" section
  • I strongly suggest using the {{cite journal}} template which will format the referrences much better.
  • "Accessed on line" why is online two separate words? Anyways, I suggest using "Retrieved on". Btw, the citejournal template will automatically format these refs anyways.

Nergaal (talk) 05:53, 6 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

More comments

  • I linked spectral lines; if that is inappropriate feel free to remove it.
  • The above suggestions by Nergaal seem like good ones and I see that you have implemented some of them; altogether, the article looks good.
  • I recommend you consider using Wikipedia:Citation templates as suggested. It gives a uniform appearance to the citations which is part of the MoS criteria. It provides a cite journal, cite web, cite book etc. format so that all of the details are filled in correctly. It may seem like a bother at first, but a consistent format is required and it will profit you overall to become familiar with using templates for references in this and future articles. —Mattisse (Talk) 18:38, 6 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Taking these comments out of order:
  1. The article Andromeda gives the etymology of Andromeda in the first sentence. However, I have expanded the etymology system.
  2. As stated in the section Chemical peculiarities, mercury-manganese stars are a class of chemically peculiar stars which have excesses of mercury, manganese, and other elements in their atmospheres.
  3. Re splitting the "System" section, see my comment 2 above.
  4. On line is a customary spelling for this adverb. It was more common a few years ago but has declined recently due to the trend in English to close up and de-hyphenate compounds.
  5. The references are currently in a consistent format. To quote Wikipedia:Citing sources, "The use of citation templates is neither encouraged nor discouraged."
Spacepotato (talk) 19:33, 6 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • O.K. Those were just suggestions.
Final GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Mattisse (Talk) 19:53, 6 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]