Talk:All Night Long (Ami Suzuki song)/GA1

GA Review

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 21:45, 5 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

Full review coming very soon. Carbrera (talk) 21:45, 5 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

Needs an alt
I prefer a flatlist rather than an hlist, but it's okay, you don't have to change it

Lead

Paragraph 1

Change 'capitalized' to 'stylized'
Change 'song writer' to 'songwriter'
Delete 'the being her single' and '(1998)' in the sentence discussing her previous collaborations with Komuro
Delete the CD cover sleeve description; you can leave it as the alt instead, if you'd prefer

Paragraph 2

Delete 'her native'
Delete 'and two' from the sentence discussing how it was her highest charting single
Add 'becoming' to the beginning of 'Suzuki's seventh best selling single in that region

Paragraph 3

Bowling rinks are more commonly referred to as bowling alleys; I think you should switch 'rink' to 'alley'
Remove 'herself' from '"All Night Long" and Suzuki [herself]...'
Add respectfully to the end of the sentence

Background and release

Paragraph 1

'had written, produced, composed and arranged' should switch tenses to 'wrote, produced, composed, and arranged'
Add 'the' before 'English language'
You can remove the sentence 'It is Suzuki's third single to be handled by Komuro, following "Love the Island" and "Alone in My Room" because the information is redundant. If the sources for that sentence are included elsewhere, move the sources

Paragraph 2

The sentence discussing "Free Free" and "Single Music Maker" isn't needed

Composition

The sentence that starts with 'Throughout the choruses' needs to be reworded; it doesn't make much sense to me
You don't have to list the other seven songs on Ami Selection
Change 're-produced' to 're-producing'

Reception

Remove the reception section and delete an equal sign from the beginning and end of both 'critical response' and 'commercial performance'

Critical response

Change 'favourable' to 'favorable'
Again, remove 'herself' from the awards sentence and add 'respectively' towards the end, similarly to what you'll likely do in paragraph 3 of the lead

Commercial performance

Delete the comma is 'It spent three weeks in the top ten, and a total of fifteen weeks in the top 100'
Insert 'number' before '77'
Flip 'Japanese' and 'Annual' around

Music video and promotional activities

Separate into two sections: 'Music video' and 'Promotion'

Paragraph 1

Switch to 'alley' again
You could detail the video further if possible, even adding a photo would be a nice addition

Paragraph 2

Reword the first sentence and make sure singular and plural statement are separated
Change 'Japan and it achieved large' to 'Japan, were it received significant'
Change the colon in 'Suzuki's concert tours: these include her' to a semi-colon
Capitalized the 't' in '29th Anniversary Tour'
Reword the 29th anniversary section since you can only have one 29th birthday
Change the 'and' in 'and "All Night Long" was performed in the middle section' to a 'where'

Track listing

Change section title to 'Track listings'

Personnel

Nothing to add here :)

Charts and sales

Looks good to me as well

Release history

Also, looks good

Footnotes

Rename as 'References'

Notes

Remove this section entirely

References

Add access dates to any sources that are missing one
[20] - Unlink Count Down TV
[29] - Unlink Avex Trax
[31-38] - Unlink iTunes store

End of GA Review:

Overall, another good Ami Suzuki article, but some changes and modifications need to be made. I'm gonna put it on hold until the nominator can review them; thanks, Carbrera (talk) 00:20, 6 March 2016 (UTC).[reply]

Hello @Carbrera: My sincere apologies; I currently have a lot of school work and other endeavours to be sorted out. This page will DEFINATELY be finished either tonight or tomorrow, so please hold on a bit more. Cheers CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 22:36, 12 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]