Talk:All Money Is Legal/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 09:04, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

It peaked at number 45 → I would add "Commercially, it..." for clarification

Added. Aoba47 (talk) 01:10, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Billboard chart. "4 da Fam" made → Billboard chart, while "4 da Fam" made

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:10, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

Flawless ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 01:10, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Background and release

in local talent shows throughout New York City → I'm not sure if "throughout" is the right word here

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:12, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

She joined the → I would add "Amil" here to avoid repeating yourself

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:12, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

He asked Amil → He also asked Amil

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:12, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

own lyrics for most of the album → own lyrics for the majority of the album

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:12, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Composition and sound

thirteen tracks → 13 tracks (numbers above ten should not be written out)

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:15, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I don't see ”Heard It All Before” in the album's track list

Revised as it should just be "Heard It All", which is the fifth song on the album's track list. Aoba47 (talk) 01:15, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

after stealing another woman's boyfriend → "stealing" sounds unencyclopedic here

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:15, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Jay-Z contributed verses to the track → Use "He" here to avoid repetation

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:15, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Promotion

was released to promote the song.[21] It was featured → was released to promote the song,[21] and was featured

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:23, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

August 1, 2000, and August 8, 2000 → August 1 and August 8, 2000

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:23, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

and described the song's as "squelching [and] slithering" → remove the "'s" from "song's"

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:23, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

had promise as a rapper.[21] On the other hand, a writer → had promise as a rapper,[21] while on the other hand, a writer... (to avoid short sentences)

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 01:23, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I think it is unnecessary to have two paragraphs for one single...

Combined. Aoba47 (talk) 01:23, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

The section should be before "Promotion"

This is not true as this information is tied into the album's release. See what I have done for another album article Pru to see what I mean. Also, I have restored the information that you have removed on the album's release. This is information that needs to be in the article. Also, the information on Amil being dropped from the label following the album's release needs to be in the article. Aoba47 (talk) 01:28, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Link "critics" to Music criticism

It has already been linked in a previous section. Aoba47 (talk) 01:28, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

she found her personal tracks → do you mean the songs she had written by herself?

Revised to make the meaning clearer. Aoba47 (talk) 01:28, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The album peaked at number 45 on the Top Album Sales → place and "also" before "peaked"

Added. Aoba47 (talk) 01:28, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Track listing

Flawless ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 01:29, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Credits and personnel

Flawless ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 01:29, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Charts

Fixed by myself...

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 01:29, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Release history

Fixed by myself...

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 01:29, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Other stuff

Copy-violation

54.8% is a little bit heavy... Please revise this!

That percentage comes from the "Credits" portion of the article, which will naturally have a high percentage of cross-over as the information will always be the same. Aoba47 (talk) 01:32, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

References

As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 01:29, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Outcome

Same nominator, same reviewer, same kind of topic, same quality! This was, as usual, a very interesting reading, and I think you should try to bring this to FA level ! I put the article On hold for 7 days to allow further edits. Best; Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:51, 4 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: Thank you for the review as always, and I greatly appreciate your kind words. I will definitely try to bring this up to the FA level sometime in the near future (hopefully this year). I believe that I have addressed everything. Have a great rest of your day or night! Aoba47 (talk) 01:33, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: Just to clarify, I haven't removed the information on the album's release, but I just added it to "Background", and thus formed the section "Background and release". You can restore to "Background and recording" and "Release and promotion" if you feel like it is better. I'm passing this! Congrats; Cartoon network freak (talk) 08:10, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.