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Talk:Alexander S. Wolcott/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

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Reviewer: Willbb234 (talk · contribs) 16:10, 20 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]


I'll review this article. Kind regards, Willbb234Talk (please {{ping}} me in replies) 16:10, 20 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • Nationality in the first sentence is needed.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:55, 20 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]


  • The lede is too short and needs fleshing out. One or two more sentences on the camera are needed.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:58, 20 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]


  • "(Paull)" to "(née Paull)"
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:55, 20 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]


  • The Early Life section is so small I'm questioning it's necessity in the article. You should probably merge it with the rest of the article and re title it "Career" or

"Life" or "Biography". Willbb234Talk (please {{ping}} me in replies) 16:24, 20 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:00, 20 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]


  • "In 1839 he became an associated with John Johnson," not quite sure what you are saying here so needs correcting.


  • "and related supplies" try and be more specific here.


  • Wolcott lived in New York City in the 1830s and made dental supplies for a living.[3][4] He worked in the mechanics of designing instruments that used optics.[5] don't these two sentences contradict each other, or did he do both things at the same time? If so, it needs clarification.


  • You need to introduce Daguerre and also include a wikilink. A little background on his work would also be useful.


  • Wolcott and Johnson continued to improve their photography techniques. Wolcott improved his photosensitive plate and created a chemical "accelerator", a mix of bromide and chloride. these two sentences don't read too well as you say improve twice.


General comments. There isn't very much on Wolcott in this article. There's plenty on his work and a few details of his early life and death, but nothing on his personal life, education or anything like that. As this is an article on him and not just his work, it is a bit undesirable. Due to the era when he lived, I wouldn't imagine there's more photos of Wolcott himself, but if there are, please add them in as it would really help the article; there's more images of the camera he built rather than he himself. Finally the references look good and I have no issues there. I am going to request a second opinion on this one as I don't think the article is very broad in its coverage and I'd just like someone else to give their opinion. Kind regards, Willbb234Talk (please {{ping}} me in replies) 09:16, 21 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll close this GA review as a fail per the comments above. Kind regards, Willbb234Talk (please {{ping}} me in replies) 23:26, 17 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]