Talk:Alexander Buchan (artist)/GA1
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Reviewer: Etriusus (talk · contribs) 03:51, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
I'll get this review. I'll have comments within the next day or so. Etriusus (talk) 03:51, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
Intro
He died after the second one,
the "second one" what? I think you mean seizure but it can also be interpreted as he went on a second voyage.- Rewritten
- The intro as a whole is very short, can you expand this at all?
- Did a little bit; let me know if there is something else you'd like included
- The page would be improved substantially with an infobox
- Added, although I don't have a lot of data to put in
Background
he was "young" when he was hired
this contradicts the previous point. Reword it to say "he was described as 'young'..."- Done something
aware of this at the time.
reword: "aware of this at the time he was hired"- there needs to be a sentence on why he was hired, otherwise the sentence "According to Averil Lysaght..." doesn't make sense.
evidence that he exhibited work
Who exhibited work? Buchan? Banks?- Rewritten to hopefully address the three previous points.
Buchan family of North Berwick
Specify this is Scotland.- Done, good point.
It could be a self portrait,
Reword: It has been proposed to be as self portrat- done.
Voyage with Captain Cook
could use these to show them to his friends
notable?- Removed (this is more or less what we have in the second Banks quote)
- "coastal profiles" elaborate on what this is
- Tried to explain. Odd that we don't seem to have an article.
To Banks' great relief, Buchan recovered.
Puffery, in general, this sentence needs rewording to be encyclopedic.- Banks did write "thank god" but I have cut this short.
- put Bank's quote in a quote block.
- Done.
Death at Tahiti
he also stated about Buchan's work
What work? his paintings?- I guess, but I shortened to "Buchan". He might also have mentioned the coastal work; Buchan's Rio de Janeiro is pretty good (see here for the middle third: [1], unfortunately I'm not sure this is PD) Lysaght (and I think some of my other sources too) is a bit surprised that Cook praised him so much, and wonders whether some other artwork was lost.
- put Bank's quote in a quote block.
- Done, also for Cook's.
Artworks and legacy
- Maybe put a gallery template here and move some of his artwork here. The page's layout, specifically the last image is a bit clunky.
- Tried something, please have a look.
Kusma Here are my initial thoughts. The article plays the pronoun game a bit too much and it can get confusing without clarification. Please let me know if there are any questions/concerns. Etriusus (talk) 02:49, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you for the review and for the useful suggestions! I'll look through your points in detail probably later today. —Kusma (talk) 07:05, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
- @Etriusus, would you like to take another look? I have tried to address your comments (and I hope I haven't messed anything up!) —Kusma (talk) 23:27, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
- @Kusma, I only have one final edit before signing off on the article. I went ahead and copy edited the article a small bit. Let me know if there's anything I changed that you disagree with. The templates added make the page flow substantially better. Overall, an excellent read about an otherwise obscure person. Excellent work!!Etriusus (talk) 04:55, 1 February 2022 (UTC)
- @Etriusus, glad you like it! Please review changes since your last edit and let me know if there is anything else. —Kusma (talk) 09:38, 1 February 2022 (UTC)
- @Kusma, I only have one final edit before signing off on the article. I went ahead and copy edited the article a small bit. Let me know if there's anything I changed that you disagree with. The templates added make the page flow substantially better. Overall, an excellent read about an otherwise obscure person. Excellent work!!Etriusus (talk) 04:55, 1 February 2022 (UTC)
the people are more elegantly proportioned
Who stated this? It reads like OR.- That's what Bernard Smith (art historian) said. Instead of going for a direct quote, I have rewritten this part a bit, hopefully making it fit better with the rest of the article.
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- Sources are reliable, and appropriate for this type of article; several were checked against the statements they supported with no issues found.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- Article has broad coverage with appropriate level of details.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Yes
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- Yes
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- All images have licenses making them available for use in this article, they are used appropriately, and have useful captions.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- @Kusma Article passes GA review. Good work! Etriusus (talk) 03:11, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail: