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Talk:Aleksandar Jovanović Ćuta/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 18:15, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Happy to review the article to the best of my ability - I do not speak Serbian, but this should not hinder my ability to access the topic.

Review comments

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Lead section/infobox

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  • Unlink member (not needed, as the parliament concerned is linked close by).
  • I would explain Stara Planina, as readers might not know what is is being referred to here.
  • Unlink football (common term, see MOS:OL).
  • Introduce Nebojša Zelenović and Dobrica Veselinović.
  • Amend 2022 general election to ‘2022 Serbian general election’ for the sake of clarity.
  • MP should be written in full.
  • Link environmental activist (Environmental movement); coalition.
  • British English (“travelled“) or American English (“centered”)? You need to be consistent throughout the article.
  • Remove since then to improve the prose.
  • Over the period, Ćuta organized protests – amend to something like ‘Ćuta has organized protests’ to improve the prose.
  • in order to preserve the nature is not needed and can be edited out.
  • In 2021, - the comma is not needed.
  • Ćuta was the ballot representative of the coalition – I don’t know what this means, it may need to be rewritten.

1 Early life

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  • Ćuta was born – his full name (without his nickname) is needed here.
  • Is nothing known about his parents or siblings? It would be unusual if this was true.
  • neighbourhood - neighborhood (or neighbourhood) of Belgrade?
  • Unlink primary school (common term).
  • Ref 2 (Popović) gives his year of birth as 1960, not 1996.

More comments to follow. I will cross out those comments that I think are addressed Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 07:49, 23 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

  • All  Done. There seem to be no information about his parents or siblings. Regarding his date of birth, I don't remember where I got that from although Ćuta was certainly born in 1966 (not 1960 nor 1996). I've moved the National Assembly profile source that backs up his year of birth. --Vacant0 (talk) 09:47, 23 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

2.1 Early period

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  • Imo it would make more sense if the title was changed to something like 2016–2020.
  • During his youth, Ćuta often travelled to Stara Planina, where his grandparents lived - This sentence belongs in the previous section, surely.
  • Unlink thank-you note (common term).
  • president – I would amend this to ‘the Serbian president’, for the sake of clarity.
  • Introduce Savo Manojlović.
  • Introduce Rio Tinto, so that readers know what is being referred to here (perhaps ‘the Anglo-Australian multinational company Rio Tinto’?).
  • travelled to – ‘stayed at’?
  • "Defend the Rivers of Stara Planina" organization – ‘organisation Defend the Rivers of Stara Planina’?
  • in order to post their activities regarding their activism is redundant and can be removed.
  • has also been a critic of the Serbian government due to their approaches - ‘has criticized the Serbian government for its approach’.
  • I would replace Ćuta with ‘He/he’ after he has been first named in a paragraph, to improve the quality of the prose.
  • the decision of constructing – ‘the construction of’.
  • were sent a verdict – this makes no sense to me.
  • they called for the institutions to react regarding the situation in Rakita – which institutions? What situation? Readers are having to guess what you mean here.
  • rejected his request - ‘rejected his demand’?
  • the regulations on environmental protection – ‘environmental protection regulations’ sounds better imo.
  • scientists, and professors – only one professor is mentioned in Ref 25 (Danas), and he is a scientist, so I would amend this to ‘and scientists’.
  • Ref 26 (Balkan Green Energy News) doesn’t seem to mention any call to "revolt".
  • The government mortgaged the river in Rakita – This seems a strange thing to do. Could it be explained why this was done? And shouldn't this and the text that follows belong in the following section?
  • canceled or cancelled?

2.2 2021–2022 period

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  • '2021–2022' would be fine in the title, without including period.
  • Introduce Linglong Tire.
  • I would amend Utisak nedelje show to somethinh like ‘Utisak nedelje, a Serbian political television program’, for the sake of clarity.
  • Unlink enemies of the state (see MOS:LINKSTYLE about linking within a quotation).
  • Unlink police (unnecessary link).
  • The link environmental organizations doesn’t lead to where you would expect it to, and doesn't really seem all that necessary at this point in the article.
  • Introduce Nebojša Zelenović.
  • Why are "Environmental Uprising" and "Action" in quotes (not all organisations in the article are written with quotes around them)?

3 Personal life

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  • Jovanović is often known and referred by his nickname Ćuta. is mentioned too late in the article, as his nickname is referred to at the start of the first section. I would move the text up there.
  • Ćuta showed his interest into rock music during his youth, when he learned to play the guitar. He also often played football and chess - This all belongs in the Early life section.
  • was married twice – ‘has been married twice’ sounds better imo, as Ćuta is still alive.
  • He took part in The Weight of Chains 3 documentary film, which aired in 2019 - Why is this sentence here, as it seems to be more information about his political career? Ditto the whole of the second paragraph.
  • Unlink green party (it’s within a quote).

More comments to follow. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:40, 23 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

4 References

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  • Ref 3 (Priče sa dušom) appears to be a self-published source – what makes you think it is reliable?
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On hold

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I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 31 August to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 08:45, 23 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for picking this up. I've amended the article. Vacant0 (talk) 10:09, 23 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Passing

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Great work, passing now. Congratulations, Amitchell125 (talk) 11:20, 23 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Vacant0 (talk) 11:21, 23 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
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