Talk:Alejo Carpentier/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: –– Jezhotwells (talk) 13:15, 17 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I shall be reviewing this article against the Good Article criteria, following its nomination for Good Article status.

Disambiguations: I found two disambiguations, fixed one, but could not determine a suitable target for Nativism Done

Linkrot: No dead links found

Checking against GA criteria

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
WP:LEAD suggest no more than four paragraphs, suggest slight reorganisation to consolidate the two short paras at beginning and end

DoneOriginally born in Lausanne, Switzerland, Carpentier grew up in Havana, Cuba; "originally born is not good English. Either he was born in Lausanne or not.

His parents broke up and his father abandoned the family. I understand what you mean, but it is a little colloquial, perhaps "His parents' marriage broke up"?

DoneAfter his primary education in Cuba, between 1912 and 1921, Carpentier traveled to Paris, France, to study his secondary education. "...to study his secondary education."? Chronologically this is confusing, the wording suggests that his primary education was in Cuba?

DoneDuring this time, Carpentier studied musical theory and became, and in Carpentier's words he described himself as “an acceptable pianist". Very clumsy phrasing.

DoneDuring 1923 and 1924 he would continue to work as a columnist and also diversify his work by editing musical and theatre reviews to La Discusión and El Heraldo de Cuba. Clumsy and ungrammatical.

Done"Gerardo Machado y Morales" should be wikilinked, I think there are a few other possible targets for wikilinking throughout the article.

Done (added 1927 date...less confusing?)Carpentier was arrested for opposing the Gerardo Machado y Morales dictatorship. Hang on, I thought that he had returned to France in 1921. Very confusing.

DoneCarpentier decided on a voluntary exile to France and arrived in Paris in 1928 where it became his home for several years until 1939... Clumsy and poor grammar.

Done At the time when he left Cuba Poor grammar.

DoneCarpentier felt that it was important for him to not integrate into the influences of movements because he believed in maintaining a “balance against the insularity of his homeland”. "not integrate into"?

DoneFor over eight years in France he spent most of his time reading American texts as he felt it was vital for him to comprehend the importance of understanding the contexts of his writings which allows for the artistic process to produce the 'creativity and imagination'. Ungrammatical

DoneHe felt that by embracing everything American he could understand better where he came in terms of a socio-political background. As he sought to discover a better understanding within his literary abilities and attempt the “arduous task of making American art universal” he is able to discover his patriotism”.[13] This time being away from his homeland helped him to understand the Latin-American world and his roots. This looks like a very poor translation.

OK, right now, scanning further into the article I can see that this fails the criterion of "reasonably well written". Please Doneenlist the help of a copy-editor. This will probably take some time. The WP:Guild of copyeditors may be able to help.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
The article appear well referenced, however the formatting of notes is not consistent. Where is the full citation from the work by Bergh? Ah, I see that it is in further reading; it and Shaw Gonzalez, etc should be in the Done Secondary references section. DoneThe Further reading section should be cited in the same manner as the References.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
The image needs a specific fair use rationale for its use in each article. Currently there is none. The image needs a caption, i.e. date of photo and would be better in an infobox, such as Template:Infobox writer

A new rationale was written. It still lacks a date for the photo as Dr. Blofeld (the original photo contributor) has not answered our requests for more information on the photo. Katie322 (talk) 19:22, 19 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

This article certainly shows promise, but in its present state is is some way away from Good Article quality. Please get it copyedited, sort out the reference formatting and then renominate at WP:GAN. The waiting list is very short at present. –– Jezhotwells (talk) 14:02, 17 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]