Talk:Alberto Contador/GA1

GA Review

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GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:
See below.

B. MoS compliance:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
MOS:IMAGES isn't too keen on forced image sizes, but I'm OK with letting it go here.
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Lead

He won the 2007 Tour de France with the Discovery Channel team and the 2008 Giro d'Italia and 2008 Vuelta a España with Astana, ~~being~~ the fifth racer in history, and the first Spaniard, to win all three Grand Tours of road cycling, among legends Jacques Anquetil (1963), Felice Gimondi (1968), Eddy Merckx (1973) and Bernard Hinault in (1980).
I'm a little unsure what the bracketed years mean here as well. Is this the year they won their third Grand Tour?
- Took out the years. It is the year of each of their third Grand Tour, but that's kind of meaningless. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 14:19, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Bernard Hinault in (1980). The in is redundant.
- Took it out. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 14:19, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - I've actually taken out the references to the other four with the career triple entirely. The same information is given later on, and I think this is a little too much detail for the lead. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 17:33, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
While he competes for the overall titles, he is considered a climbing specialist, although recently he has improved his Time Trialing ability somewhat, and is becoming more the complete grand tour rider. I'm not super keen on somewhat here, and the sentence is very close to OR. Can you provide sources that say his TT ability is improving? Shouldn't be too hard.
- Think this is taken care of. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 14:19, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Is there a page you can link to for Time Trialing?
- Yep, done. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 14:19, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Grand Tour has gone to grand tour.
- Taken out. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 14:19, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
He has earned a reputation as an all-rounder, a cyclist who excels in all aspects of stage racing. How is he at pack sprinting?

Probably okay, but that's not a skill that's required for GC success in stage racing. I'll revise the statement. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 22:05, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Early years and family

I can't help but feel the name of his siblings being included is a touch redundant. They are also not included in the covering cite, though in a latter one. I'd copy his official bio cite and move it forwards to cite this (I don't know how to phrase my comment any better...)
- Moved the citation. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 17:35, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - And his siblings? Aptery gial 11:42, 19 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    - Redundant? To what exactly? Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 22:07, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
...signed up for ~~Basque team~~ Iberdrola-Loinaz, a Basque youth team of the professional ONCE cycling team.
- I took out both incidences of "Basque." I think it's fairly irrelevant.
The grammar in this paragraph is fairly stilted, is lacking some commas and articles. The problems should be fairly easy to spot, but let me know if you have problems.
- Think it's okay now, but let me know if not. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 17:35, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Los altibajos de Contador is a deadlink.
- Fixed Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 17:35, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Education in Spain#Bachillerato no longer links anywhere in that article. You could probably just get away with saying he didn't finish his schooling.
- Linked to education in Spain#Post-compulsory schooling, which discusses bachillerato immediately. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 22:07, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - I reckon it should be his Bachillerato. Aptery gial 10:58, 21 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed

He discovered cycling at the age of 14 thanks to his elder brother Francisco Javier. Contador had previously practiced other sports such as football and athletics. These sentences would work better if you swapped them over (and fixed the problems associated with such a swap), as the next few sentences talk about cycling, so the flow would be better.

Fixed

ONCE/Liberty Seguros (2004-2006)

In his first year as a professional he won the eighth stage (ITT) of Tour de Pologne. ITT should be spelt out on first mention, and linked here only (it's also linked further on).
I'm sure it should be the Tour de Pologne. This applies equally to the other times in the article when events are named.
There is no cite covering the latter part of the first paragraph.

Done (all of the above) Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 14:44, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Still some definite articles missing before tour names.
- Didn't notice before. Like I said, I'm not a terrific copyeditor. I have a feeling that much of this article may have been first written by someone for whom English was not their first language. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 22:15, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Unless the cycling wikiproject usually does otherwise, stage 4 should be stage four. Same issue appears later on in the article.
- It's considerably more common to refer to stages by numeral. Doesn't necessarily make it better, I guess. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 22:15, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Did ONCE turn into Liberty Seguros?
- Yes. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 22:15, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

2007 season

Link Discovery Channel again.
under a cloud of suspicion due to the Operación Puerto doping case. Although you elaborate later on, I reckon you should say he was implicated rather than under a cloud of suspicion.
Upon Rasmussen's removal from the race before stage 17. Should probably say why...
In the stage 19 individual time trial, mention it's the penultimate stage (probably don't need to mention that all they do on the final stage is drink champagne).

Done Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 22:23, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Per MOS:IMAGE, left-aligned images should not be situated below level 3 headings.
- Aren't images supposed to alternate sides of the screen, though? Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 22:23, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - I think this might best be resolved by removing the ==Career== heading. It's fairly trivial and has no text between it and the next heading. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 22:29, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    - I disagree: the career heading made a lot of sense as the info under its banner talked about his career exclusively, now it seems disconnected. You could solve the original problem by not specifying the image size. Aptery gial 10:58, 21 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Upon Rasmussen's removal from the race before stage 17 for lying to his team about his pre-race whereabouts... I reckon you should say pre-race training whereabouts.

2008 season

Contador wins Golden Bike award for second year in a row is a deadlink.
- Fixed Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 17:35, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
On 13 February 2008, the organizer of the Tour de France, the Amaury Sport Organisation, announced that Astana would not be invited to any of their events in 2008. Why?

Because of the doping scandals from the Biver-led Astana Team. I'll find a source for that, shouldn't be hard. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 22:01, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Johan Bruyneel alluded to this on Belgian television by saying: "I'm not going to repeat the words I could hear him shout over the phone, but let's just say it wasn't pretty". Needs a cite.

I think I'll probably just take it out.

Contador was proclaimed winner of the Giro the 1st June 2008 in Milan. Fairly obvious problems here.

Fixed

He placed fourth in the individual time trial, 8 seconds behind his Astana teammate Levi Leipheimer. 8 → eight.

Fixed

That final time trial was won by teammate Levi Leipheimer. Overlink.

Fixed before I even came back to this talk page :)

Contador later seemed to take some offense to Leipheimer seemingly riding with winning the Vuelta in mind. The source doesn't say Leipheimer was seemingly riding with winning the Vuelta in mind.

I'll get to the other points, but that source has Contador speculating that if the ITT were any longer, Leipheimer (who is generally accepted as a superior time trialist to Contador) would have won the Vuelta. I'm not sure what else Contador could have meant. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 22:01, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think you might have fixed my problem before you got to it again. For clarity, say offense to Leipheimer seemingly riding instead of offense to him seemingly riding. Aptery gial 10:58, 21 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done

The last section of this paragraph needs cites.

Done

Contador was without a professional contract until mid-January 2007, when he signed with Discovery Channel, after having been implicated in the Operación Puerto doping case. It'd work better if you said he was implicated first, such as: After having been implicated in the Operación Puerto doping case, Contador was without a professional contract until mid-January 2007, when he signed with Discovery Channel. Otherwise it looks like he signed because he was implicated.

Fixed

2009 season

On September 9, 2008. Date consistency.

Fixed

'directeur sportif' should be in italics.
Changed to sporting director. "Directeur sportif" is reasonably common in English media, but so is "sporting director," and we should err on the side of English whenever reasonable (this is the English Wikipedia after all) Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 23:12, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
said that he couldn't allow Armstrong riding for another team and later signed him. Contraction.
- Mmm? There have to be dozens of contractions in the article. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 23:12, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - WP:CONTRACTION. Aptery gial 10:58, 21 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    - There were actually only two. Like I said in my edit summary, I disagree that contractions are the devil, but it doesn't really matter. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 11:03, 21 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
      - I disagree with plenty in the MOS (WP:DASH is ridiculous) but it's there for a reason. Aptery gial 11:10, 21 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
        True enough. I need to go defy my username for a few hours. I'll tackle a pretty major revision in a little while Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 21:34, 21 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Should split this paragraph after what is now cite 30.

Done

placing second to young gun Ryan McElligott on Stage 3 Three things: have you got a better way of saying young gun, redlink Ryan McElligott and Stage should be stage.

Done "Young gun" was absurdly ridiculous. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 23:12, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

- Actually I took the name out altogether. This was the only article that linked to it. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 23:23, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
He looked sure to win Paris-Nice again after winning the prologue and the toughest mountain stage, leaving Luxembourg national champion Fränk Schleck in his wake, but suffered a dramatic breakdown in stage 7, losing his yellow jersey to fellow Spaniard Luis Leon Sánchez. Needs to be NPOVed.

Done

Doping allegations

Merge the second and third paragraphs.

Done

On 28 July 2007 the French daily Le Monde. Overlink.

Fixed

On 28 July 2007. Needs a comma after 2007, same with the start of the next paragraph.

Fixed

declared he's a clean rider. Contraction.
- I don't think contractions are the problem, though this was sloppily worded. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 23:12, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
From I have never doped onwards, this section is eerily reminiscent of this source.
- Took it out. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 23:12, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Other points

I'm fine with having the Winner of the Tour de France succession box and the Tour de France Yellow jersey winners box, doesn't seem to represent much of a clash of information to me.
- I actually took it out. I don't think it accomplishes much of anything. If we don't have templates for the Giro and Vuelta winners, we should (and it seems we don't, so I'm gonna get on that). Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 19:15, 22 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The Major achievements is fine at the moment (though if you could find a blanket source for it and put it in the External links section that'd be great), but as it gets bigger in a couple of years you should consider giving it its own article.
- Two palmarès lists are references in the article, I just put them there an additional time. Does that work? Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 19:15, 22 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - Yep. That seems to work. Aptery gial 01:04, 23 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I think to reach the comprehensive criterion the article needs to have a Personal life section - not too much though - as at this stage there is very little on him outside of cycling.
- I tried, but I wasn't able to find a whole lot, and what I did find seems a bit trivial. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 19:15, 22 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - Looks fine. When I first came to the article it said he lives in Pinto. You could add that. Aptery gial 01:04, 23 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    - Born in Pinto, but lives in Madrid now (though that's kind of like saying born in East Rutherford and now lives in New York City). Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 06:33, 23 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
      - Sorry, I didn't see you'd already written Madrid in there. Certainly not a sticking point, but is there any way you could merge Personal life and Early career (having the second paragraph of Personal life last in the revised section)? Aptery gial 07:36, 23 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
        Yeah, the link was to Madrid (autonomous community) but piped to just show "Madrid." Not terribly clear. I think it is now. Is this heading on the new section good? (Personal life and early career?) It seems a little clunky to me. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 07:44, 23 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
        I don't really think there's a way you can do it without it looking clunky (I had a look at a few sport FAs and I couldn't find any better). On a related note, you should mention who Pantani was. Aptery gial 08:04, 23 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

References

Those two deadlinks.
Most references are missing author information, publishing information, and access and publishing dates.
- Cites should all be standardized. I put {{fact}} next to the deadlinks and took out the not-too-WP:RS cyclingfans.com and marked those as well. I'll of course get cites next to the relevant facts post haste. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 15:34, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - Found refs pretty quickly :) Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 15:49, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    - Cite 32 is still missing some info.
      - Done
Sometimes 'cyclingnews.com' is italicised and sometimes it isn't.
- I have absolutely no idea how to fix that. ''cyclingnews.com'' doesn't appear anywhere in any of the citations. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 19:15, 22 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - If the entry field is "work=", it is italicised, if it is "publisher=" it isn't. Probably doesn't need the ".com" part, just the site name ("Cyclingnews"). Aptery gial 00:53, 23 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    - Ah, ok. I changed them all to publisher, I think that makes a lot more sense. Nosleep ^{break my slumber} 07:37, 23 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
      - And I fixed the other ref problems. Aptery gial 08:01, 23 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ongoing overall impressions

Overall, it seems OK, but there are quite a few grammar and citing problems which need fixing before it can be passed to GA. I'd love it if someone could give it a good copyedit before I continue the review, as at this rate it could take quite a while. Aptery gial 10:49, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Definitely got better in the last 24 hours, but there is still a bit there to fix. Aptery gial 11:42, 19 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Getting very close, just a few more things left to do. Aptery gial 01:04, 23 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Passed GA

I'm passing this article for GA. This article has displayed a huge improvement on a week ago, so congratulations there. A key thing with articles such as this is to remember to update it often, apart from that, good luck! Aptery gial 09:21, 24 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]