Talk:Alan Wiggins/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Bagumba (talk · contribs) 03:49, 19 August 2015 (UTC)

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Use NLCS abbrevY Seems kludgey to refer to "1984 San Diego Padres" in the lead. Either pipe it to something like "Padres in 1984", or just link the year later in the body.Y Add parenthetical about current name of Angels (e.g. LA Angeles of ... )Y Wikilink minor league in leadY "first made the major leagues" -> "made his major league debut"Y 6'2" should have metric conversionY Wikilink infielder on first usage (currently later)Y "spent the 1977 college baseball season": J.C. baseball I think is different than college baseball (usually association with NCAA?)Y Clear's quote could use some explanation for laymen. Batting average should be introduced here too.Y Wikilink shortstopY Should not have links to generic articles like 1982 in baseball. Link to the team's season instead.Y Link to All-Star break to All-Star break (MLB)Y Link marijuana (esp. if cocaine is already link)Y Can just mention Richard Caldwell as effectively part of trade. The detail that he was player to be named later is pretty insignificant to Wiggins' bio.Y Kroc quote seems quite long. Consider paraphrasing.Y "before being called up to Baltimore's MLB team" -> "before being called up to Baltimore"Y Can shorten Weaver quote to "has had more chances than anyone who ever wore an Orioles' uniform"Y "might have left Wiggins battling for an outfield slot": why hedge with "might"? "shared the second base assignment with Rick Burleson" -> "shared second base duties with Burleson"Y "An Orioles official anonymously told" -> "An anonymous Orioles official told"Y "He was released from the Orioles" -> "Wiggins was released from the Orioles"Y "She also graduated from John Muir High School" -> "and they both graduated from John Muir High School"Y Seems more natural to mention his children in "Personal life" instead of "Legacy"Y Move "Later life and death" before "Personal life". Rename to "Later years"(???)Y "Padres officials later acknowledged that they knew Wiggins had been ..." -> "According to the Padres, Wiggins has been ..."Y "Executives from the Dodgers would not say ...": since it's not definitive either way, can probably be removedY "The Dodgers could have protected Wiggins from being selected in the rule 5 draft, but they elected not to."-> "after the Dodgers elected to leave him unprotected"Y Per Wikipedia:WikiProject Baseball/Player style advice, World Series appearance not generally listed in infoboxY Per style advice, mention nationality and that he was a player in opening sentence, e.g " ... was an American baseball player"Y Wikilink Los Angeles TimesY The Gib Bodet, Major League Scout: Twelve Thousand Baseball Games and Six Million Miles source doesn't give access to the book's content, so don't need linkY "Wiggins was selected by the Angels as the eighth overall ..." move to after mention of pre-draft workoutY "... Bodet described as "a tough negotiation ..." Don't have access to the source, but per WP:INTEXT, don't need attribution to Bodet unless its viewed as not being a general assessment or contentious Either remove the quoted text and paraphrase if it is not considered biased, or go back to attributing it if you think it's not neutral.—Bagumba (talk) 06:17, 21 August 2015 (UTC) I found the ref online. If the "tough" is going to be mentioned, it'd provide more context to say that Gib stated his mother "did not trust easily".—Bagumba (talk) 19:01, 21 August 2015 (UTC)Y "he was converted into an outfielder": already stated he played some OF earlier. Perhaps "he became primarily an outfielder"Y "Wiggins split 1982 between the Islanders and Padres." makes it sound like he went back and forth, when he started in AAA before staying with SDY "Shortly thereafter, Wiggins chafed ...": Wording is not clear that it's the same game as the 3 errors.Y "Just before the season started, Wiggins was critical of Ripken, Sr. He was not happy with the idea of a utility role ..." -> "Just before the season started, Wiggins was not happy with Ripken, Sr.'s plans to use him in a utility role ..".Y "His mother-in-law said that he had gotten sick with a cough and that his condition had worsened quickly." Work this in before his going into hospital. Don't think it needs attribution to mother-in-law..Y "As of 2015, Alan Wiggins, Jr., plays for Best Balıkesir B.K. in Turkey; he has played professionally in several countries.": probably more relevant to American readers to mention his college, and avoid dated info by just saying he went overseas to play professionally..Y —Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC) He appears to have signed with Angels after playing with Pasadena. This source has him signing in May 1977.[1]Y "Wiggins was converted back into an infielder, playing second base in 1984": doesnt sound right to say "converted back into an infielder" when he finished the previous year at first base. Middle infielder? Other reword?—Bagumba (talk) 08:28, 22 August 2015 (UTC)Y "becoming a first-round selection of the California Angels (known as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim since 2005) in the January 1977 MLB amateur draft.": I consider myself a decent fan, and I still don't really know all the darn drafts. That being said, since he wasn't taken in the "main" draft, maybe it's misleading to mention it in the lead? Is "January 1977 MLB amateur draft" the way it's typically referred to? And what the significance of piping it to "MLB amateur draft" instead of calling it "MLB draft"?—Bagumba (talk) 08:52, 22 August 2015 (UTC)Y With his relation with his father in "Later years" being in "Personal life", it seems unlearnunclear how the bio is dividing which personal parts are in "Personal life" and which are integrated chronologically into his bio.—Bagumba (talk) 21:24, 24 August 2015 (UTC)Y}
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	Lead "was a key player in the postseason for the 1984 San Diego Padres ...": importance was not limited to the postseasonY should be mention of his speed and leadoff role in 1st paragraph Not comfortable with wording (no ideas currently though) : "Wiggins was a leadoff hitter known for his speed and ability to steal bases."—Bagumba (talk) 06:57, 21 August 2015 (UTC) I think I have a pet peave about "known for" or "famous for" in the lead. The fact that anything is mentioned in the opening paragraph implies they are know/famous for it. So I think it'd sound better without it somehow. Maybe "A speedy leadoff hitter, Wiggins established a Padres single-season record for stolen bases in 1984, when they won the National League Championship Series (NLCS) and advanced to the World Series."?—Bagumba (talk) 08:52, 22 August 2015 (UTC)Y mention first round draft pick and draft yearY wikilink stolen baseY year of MLB debutY trade to BaltimoreY AIDS doesnt need expansion per MOS:ABBRY Since multiple suspensions already mentioned, "After a failed drug test in 1987, he received an indefinite suspension" can be removed to avoid too much detailY "Wiggins became known as a loner and he fell out of favor with his teammates and coaches on the Padres and Orioles.": consider taking out, i think his drug problem receives the most coverageY Layout Have one top level "Career" or "Baseball career" section per Wikipedia:WikiProject_Baseball/Player_style_advice/Sample_biography. Optionally consider adding year spans to its subsectionsY "Legacy" is short, and doesnt really discuss his last impact or standing in baseball. I'd merge with "Later life and death" and/or "Personal", as appropriate. Lucchino's quote, while perfect as a eulogy, might not be very encyclopedic.Y —Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC) The minor league SB record doesn't define him, so I'd move out of opening paragraph, and place later in lead.—Bagumba (talk) 17:56, 21 August 2015 (UTC)Y He really only batted ahead of Gwynn for one full season, so I don't think it needs to be anywhere in the lead.—Bagumba (talk) 17:56, 21 August 2015 (UTC)Y
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	OK—Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC)
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Citations needed Born in LAY Some of the other sources that mention Hialeah HighY "He caught the eye of San Diego Padres general manager Jack McKeon, who drafted him in the 1980 rule 5 draft." Need ref for Rule V, can try [2]—Bagumba (talk) 17:14, 21 August 2015 (UTC)Y "By the end of April 1983, he earned the leadoff spot in the Padres' batting order": Seems like he was already a leadoff hitter in 1982.[3] Seems more accurate to say he became a regular at end of April 83.[4]Y San Diego Reader is a free weekly newspaper in San Diego, mostly covering entertainment. Nothing you are citing from it is dubious, but there are probably other mainstream sources that can replace it for the brawl.Y "The commissioner gets tough" is a dead link. url is at http://www.si.com/vault/1985/05/20/638158/mlb, but it doesnt support "two weeks into the season"—Bagumba (talk) 17:14, 21 August 2015 (UTC)Y "On June 27, 1985, Wiggins was traded to the Baltimore Orioles for pitcher Roy Lee Jackson and a player to be named later.": not in citationY "The Hawk swoops down": dead link http://www.si.com/vault/1986/06/30/629242/baseball —Bagumba (talk) 17:14, 21 August 2015 (UTC)Y "The Orioles had to pay him $800,000, which represented two-thirds of his 1988 salary." The source says they paid him 2/3 of $800,000.Y " Candice Wiggins was an All-American at Stanford University and became the school's all-time scoring leader before joining the Los Angeles Sparks of the Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA) as the third overall pick in the 2008 WNBA Draft." I'd say to shorten and remove all-time scorer, as details can be left to her bio.Y —Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC) Missing URL for Araton ref.—Bagumba (talk) 06:17, 21 August 2015 (UTC) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/07/sports/ncaabasketball/07araton.html —Bagumba (talk) 17:14, 21 August 2015 (UTC)Y
	2c. it contains no original research.	Poverty: more extreme than source saying "Neither of us had a dad, or much money"Y "learned to play baseball at a park near the Rose Bowl": source says "They were inseparable, playing ball at Brookside Park across from the Rose Bowl in the mornings."Y "the next highest stolen base total in the league that season was 77." Sufficient to just say 120 was a minor league recordY "He was arrested for possession of cocaine just after the All-Star break" sourced doesnt mention AS break (though it's likely true). Just say in July.Y "a team of doctors judged him fit to return to baseball": source says "Alan Wiggins has been given a clearance by baseball's joint review board to resume his career after two suspensions for drug abuse"Y "the team was not receiving any attractive trade offers for him": source only mentions Baltimore offer, not (potentially) others: "But with the June 15 trading deadline so close, the Orioles have made the Padres only rock-bottom offers - reportedly two minor leaguers."Y "after he got into a verbal altercation with teammate Jim Dwyer and grabbed the shirt of Ripken, Sr., who was trying to separate the two players": Not apparent it was Ripken who was separating them. Also not clear it was a verbal altercation with Dwyer, especially if they had to be separated. Might be relevant to mention that Ripken and Wiggins were arguing the day before.Y "reflective of the time between his suspension and his release from the Orioles": source says "the suspension without pay ran from Aug. 31 to Sept. 19, when he was released", which is inconsistent with supposed Sept 29 release date. Perhaps we should not breakdown the days he was not paid, as it's conflicting.Y "marital strife in the early 1980s": not clear it's in early 80s, can remove the time periodY "Not popular with baseball fans": think this was only in Baltimore, not SDY "Wiggins was also known as a loner in the clubhouse." Not clear from citation if this was in SD (though I might have seen it in another source)Y "He became the first baseball player known to have died from AIDS": not in citationY —Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC) "Carmelo Martínez, who became a powerful offensive force in his rookie year": "powerful" is overstated, esp. when the ref doesnt evaluate the whole year. He had an OK 13 HR that year. If anything, can mention martinez was himself moved from 1B.—Bagumba (talk) 17:56, 21 August 2015 (UTC)Y Wiggins was not part of general 1977 draft. This book says it was the January 1977 draft[5] Update lead and body.—Bagumba (talk) 20:01, 21 August 2015 (UTC)Y
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	The 66 steals in 1983 was a team record.[6]Y Explain that he was moved to 2nd base in 1984 to make room in OF for Carmelo Martinez. Can borrow text from 1984 San Diego Padres season.Y The 106 runs were another team recordY When was his AIDS made public?Y Signed 4-year contract for $2.8M in 1985[7] and/or Nightengale refY NL-record tying 5 stolen bases in game in 1984 (see 84 Pads article)Y Seems more signif to mention it tied NL record (or mention both)?—Bagumba (talk) 20:33, 21 August 2015 (UTC) Mention that he returned to play after 30-day rehab in 82 (Nightengale) Rehab and suspension added. Still missing that he returned in September. Here's a source if you need.[8]—Bagumba (talk) 05:32, 27 August 2015 (UTC)Y Team MVP in 1983 (Nightengale)Y Mention he was 1st round pick in 1977Y Fight with coaches in 77 before release by Angels (Nightengale)Y 1st round FA draft by LADin 1978 (Nightengale) Per Eric's 06:47, 21 August comments below, this is dubious.—Bagumba (talk) 17:28, 21 August 2015 (UTC)Y 120 was a minor league record (Nightengale, Reading Eagle)Y One of highest paid NL 2B (Appleman. Los Angeles Times)Y Williams called him 1984 NL MVP (Weyler)Y Grew up Dodger fan (Reading Eagle, Oct 19, 1980)Y "He was primarily a shortstop, but he also appeared in the outfield and at all three of the other infield positions": Should mention his previous years in minors at 2BY —Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC) "split his playing time between the three outfield positions and first base": make it clear that he didn't just play 1st here and there. He played final 45 games in place of injured Garvey.[9]—Bagumba (talk) 21:31, 21 August 2015 (UTC)Y
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	The 1984 brawl can be summarized a tad more with less detail, something to the effect that it prompted retaliations over multiple innings, leading to fight, ejections, fines, and suspensions.Y —Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC)
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	Mention IQ test. (Nightengale source)Y Raised without a father (Nightengale)Y Introvert, trusted few people (Nightengale)Y Devastated by mom's death (Nightengale) Scratched. I must have misread the source.Y Read books and front page of newspapers (Berkow)Y "Gwynn was critical of owner Joan Kroc": In the citation, Gwynn said "You have to respect her for that. She stood up for what she thought was right." It's OK to say that he felt Wiggins was "shortchanged" in the handling of the situation, but I'm not comfortable with directing it all on Kroc without other sources. Seems more relevant to put Gwynn's feelings in the baseball section with the trade.—Bagumba (talk) 21:04, 21 August 2015 (UTC) —Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC)Y
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	OK—Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC)
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	"Minimal use" should say it's a low resolution image, and is the only non-free image in the article.Y —Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC)
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Mention image is with San DiegoY Missing alt text per WP:CAPTIONY —Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC)
	7. Overall assessment.	Generally, it would be preferably to find articles for citations vs recreating parts of his career from stats site references, but I'm not making it a precondition for GA. It would be better to mention stats that secondary sources deem significant. —Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

I've jut started going through the article, and placed my initial comments above. Starting with just general flow, without looking at sources, will add more as I continue.—Bagumba (talk) 03:49, 19 August 2015 (UTC)

I've completed my initial review, and have signed each respective section to delimit any future comments I may add later. I'll place this review on hold to allow time to address the points. As a heads up, I will be generally unavailable the week of August 23, and perhaps a bit beyond.—Bagumba (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

I think I've completed all of the items (1-39) under 1a. Regarding #18, my choice of might wasn't the best, but I meant might in the sense of "looked like it was going to happen, but didn't happen" - rather than the hedging might. I rephrased. Let me know if it works. Re: #32, it was a post-draft workout so I left it. For #33, I changed it to "what was described as" - but I feel like someone could put a "by whom?" tag on it so I'm not sure I have it right. I initially attributed it to Bodet because I am not sure how Wiggins would have characterized the negotiations. On #38, I had attributed it to his MIL because that explanation (got a cough and worsened quickly) seemed inconsistent with the other descriptions of his illness/death in the article (that he had been losing weight for at least several months, spending his last several weeks in the hospital and wasting away to 75 lbs). EricEnfermero (Talk) 04:36, 21 August 2015 (UTC)

I addressed 1b and 2b. I took out the two dead links; might replace the sources with online sources after this other stuff gets addressed. EricEnfermero (Talk) 05:04, 21 August 2015 (UTC)

I just lost a little bit of stuff in an edit conflict, but I'm still working toward addressing the feedback. Regarding 3a #11, I think Nightengale has at least part of the Dodgers thing wrong. BR says he was with the Angels until June 1978 and describes the Dodgers as signing him as an FA in Jan 79, not drafting him in Jan 78. I checked BR draft pages like this and searched 1978 and 1979 drafts (Jan and June, primary and secondary phases) and couldn't find mention of Wiggins. Weyler also describes this as an FA signing. EricEnfermero (Talk) 06:47, 21 August 2015 (UTC)

Not sure if you were complete done with 3a, but I checked off the items that seem OK.—Bagumba (talk) 20:33, 21 August 2015 (UTC)

I appreciate you checking those off. I think I have addressed the rest now. I didn't find anything about his mom's death, but Nightengale described both her Alzheimer's diagnosis and his father's cancer death as devastating, so I added those. I am still looking into the timeline of the fight with the coach; BR says he was with the Angels organization until well into the 1978 season. EricEnfermero (Talk) 06:15, 22 August 2015 (UTC)

I included the fight with the coach. Not sure what to do with the 1977 draft. Major League Baseball draft explains that January and June drafts were held at that time; while the June draft was larger, the WP entry makes it sound like it was just a matter of when a player was graduating. (That doesn't make sense to me 100%, because Wiggins was selected in January and still apparently played college ball in the spring.) I was going to link to 1977 Major League Baseball Draft, but it doesn't discuss the January draft at all and I can't find an article that does. EricEnfermero (Talk) 18:03, 22 August 2015 (UTC)

Can you drop a line at WT:BASEBALL, and see if there are any ideas on 1) how/if it should be presented in the lead 2) the wording to describe the details in the body.—Bagumba (talk) 21:24, 24 August 2015 (UTC)

@EricEnfermero: The MLB draft in the lead ( from Well written, 1a, the second #3 item) seems be the last outstanding issue. What is the timeline you are looking to resolve it? The WT:BASEBALL discussion looks to have ran its course. I still maintain it's misleading to mention 1st round pick in the lead, given that it's the January phase and not the main one. I'm OK with it being in the body. I'd suggest something more generic in the lead like " ... before being drafted by the California Angels (known as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim since 2005) in 1977." Note that the 1st round selection was only added to the lead based on my initial comment at 1b, #3. So blame me :-)—Bagumba (talk) 19:07, 1 September 2015 (UTC)

I've just removed the first round mention from the lead. I appreciate your work on this. EricEnfermero (Talk) 01:14, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

I think leaving the specific link to 1977 Major League Baseball Draft in the lead is slightly less accessible per WP:MOSINTRO than just linking to the high-level Major League Baseball Draft. I don't think the detail that it is was in the January phase is more specific than needed for the lead, and the point will be lost on most readers anyways. I still prefer piping it to "drafted", unless you strongly prefer to leave as "selected" and linking to the general draft article w/o a pipe.—Bagumba (talk) 02:01, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

If I'm understanding correctly, I think I've now fixed it. EricEnfermero (Talk) 06:43, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

Err, it would probably help if I write correctly: striking "don't" above. I'll semi-boldly update the article to not include Jan in the lead.—Bagumba (talk) 16:55, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

Great job with the updates. After all the changes, I'll go through another read of the entire article before finalizing the review. Any relatively simple issues I'll just copyedit the article directly, which you can feel free to discuss if there is disagreement.—Bagumba (talk) 17:02, 2 September 2015 (UTC)