Talk:Alan Shepard/GA1
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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:18, 5 April 2016 (UTC)
- I'll take a look; Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 09:18, 5 April 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for that. Much appreciated. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)
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He was one of many famous descendants of Mayflower passenger Richard Warren- I'd put this after his parents' names. It reads oddly where it is.- Confession. The problem here is that while I have stack of sources attesting the descent, they don't say whether it was through his mother or father. So I put it here where it merely says what the sources do. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)
- Yeah but if you pop the sentence after the parentage, you're not saying which line the descent is from. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:38, 6 April 2016 (UTC)
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:11, 6 April 2016 (UTC)
- Yeah but if you pop the sentence after the parentage, you're not saying which line the descent is from. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:38, 6 April 2016 (UTC)
- Confession. The problem here is that while I have stack of sources attesting the descent, they don't say whether it was through his mother or father. So I put it here where it merely says what the sources do. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)
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'After a month of aviation indoctrination - given negative connotations of final word...maybe needs rephrasing...- Military term. Changed. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)
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decided that they wanted to get married- why not simply, "decided to get married"
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bilged"- umm link or explain?`- The bilge is the lowest part of a ship. Water accumulates there, so it has to be pumped out. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)
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court martialed- hyphen?- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)
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although he did not go so far as to give up the cocktails or the philandering- this just sorta comes out of nowhere...some explanation needed beforehand- Any idea where it should be mentioned? Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)
- Well, is there any more info? It just seems a really odd bomb to drop in without some explanation of him cheating on his wife or drinking a lot (if there is info, then it could go immediately beforehand.) Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:38, 6 April 2016 (UTC)
- Plenty. Added a sentence, which is supported by footnote 29. If you want names and dates, though, it will have to wake until next week, because I am away at the moment. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:18, 6 April 2016 (UTC)
- Actually I don't think we need specifics, what has been added is fine. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 01:35, 6 April 2016 (UTC)
- Plenty. Added a sentence, which is supported by footnote 29. If you want names and dates, though, it will have to wake until next week, because I am away at the moment. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:18, 6 April 2016 (UTC)
- Well, is there any more info? It just seems a really odd bomb to drop in without some explanation of him cheating on his wife or drinking a lot (if there is info, then it could go immediately beforehand.) Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:38, 6 April 2016 (UTC)
- Any idea where it should be mentioned? Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)
Shepard died of leukemia in Pebble Beach, California, on July 21, 1998,[95] two years after being diagnosed with that disease- I'd switch these, so that diagnosis comes first then death.- Very well. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)
Also, given his wife doesn't have an article, how did she die?- Heart attack. Added. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:22, 5 April 2016 (UTC)
There are some segments of prose that should be reworded to distance themselves from this page- Originally the article was just a copy of his JSC bio. Much of that was lost as the article was improved, but what remains is referenced, and the article includes the disclaimer:
- This article incorporates public domain material from websites or documents of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:55, 7 April 2016 (UTC)
- Aaah ok, my bad. Alrighty then.....
1. Well written?:
- Prose quality:
- Manual of Style compliance:
2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:
- References to sources:
- Citations to reliable sources, where required:
- No original research:
3. Broad in coverage?:
- Major aspects:
- Focused:
4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:
- Fair representation without bias:
5. Reasonably stable?
- No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):
6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:
- Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
- Pass or Fail: - a nice read. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:49, 8 April 2016 (UTC)