Talk:Alabama Pitts/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 17:48, 15 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! I'll be reviewing this article to help reduce the good article nomination backlog and to gain points in the WP:WIKICUP. Although quid pro quo is not required, if you fancy returning the favor, I have a list of articles in need of review here. — Ghost River 17:48, 15 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

Lede doesn't accurately summarize the main points; leaves out everything after 1935, as well as why he was in prison in the first place.

Early years

"cavalry" should be fully written and capitalized "United States Cavalry"
"She was remarried to Robert E. Rudd, and the couple had a daughter, Pitts' half-sister, together." → "She remarried Robert E. Rudd, with whom she had one child, Pitts' half-sister."
Specify per source that the gold medal came from attending school in New Orleans
"before he received" → "before receiving"
"he wound up living in" → "he relocated to"
"potential influencer" → "potential influence"

Sing Sing

Specify (as pedantic as it sounds) $76.25 USD
"tried to get away" → "tried to escape"
"the gun was planted on him by Murphy" → "Murphy had planted the gun on her son"
"At Sing Sing, Lewis Lawes began reforming the prison when he became warden in 1919." → "Lewis Lawes had begun reforming Sing Sing when he became warden in 1919."
Specify it was an American football team rather than association
No comma needed after "in November 1931"
Link center fielder
The UPI quote feels better served after the sentence that he also played basketball and baseball

Career

"were against" → "were opposed to"
"National Association" is linked twice
"was moved off of the Senators' roster"
"professional athletics" → "professional baseball"
"NFL" needs to be written out and wikilinked
Somewhat of a jump from baseball to football; what influenced his decision to jump to football, even briefly?
Same with basketball
""Alabama Pitts All-Stars."" → ""Alabama Pitts All-Stars"." per MOS:LQ
En dash instead of hyphen in New York-Penn League
Why were they called an outlaw league? Seems MOS:QUOTEPOV right now
He signed with the Gastonia Spinners of the Carolina League When? What year, even?
Same with the Textiles
Link "runs" to runs scored
Why was he released?
Last paragraph should be in a separate section titled "Personal life"
The part about The Billion Dollar Scandal should also be in personal life to be with the other film made about him

Death

"stabbed to death" → "fatally stabbed"
Don't need to specify Valdese NC, as it was mentioned already
"that another man was dancing with" → "with whom another man was dancing"
"Pitts was "quite drunk" at the time."
"in the death of Pitts" → "in Pitts's death"
"and was sentenced"
Do we know why self-defense was argued? Earlier makes it sound more like general anger

References / Bibliography

[22] (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) should have a "via" parameter for Google News Archive
In [39], "BuffaloNews.com" → "The Buffalo News"

General comments

Image is public domain and obviously relevant
No stability concerns in the revision history
Copyvio score looks good, all common phrases that fall within WP:LIMITED
Throughout this entire article, MOS:'S needs to be remedied; anything "Pitts'" → "Pitts's"

Putting the article on hold for now. Please feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished! — Ghost River 18:02, 18 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@GhostRiver: Thanks for the review! I believe I've addressed most of your above comments, but have a few points to discuss:

For MOS:'S, there are a few times in reference titles that "Pitts'" is used. Should I leave them as-is, add a {{sic}}, or change them to "Pitts's"?
The previous reviewer asked about how Pitts went from moving to Illinois with his mother to attending high school in New Orleans. I couldn't find any explanation or even confirmation from other sources that he actually went to high school there, so I removed that part before nominating the article again. Could you advise on how to proceed?
I'm assuming Pitts moved around to different sports for monetary/publicity reasons, but I can't find anything explicitly stating this.

Thanks again for the review, and I look forward to your response! Eagles 24/7 (C) 21:57, 19 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for getting back to me, Eagles247! Regarding the MOS, you don't need to include [sic] in reference titles, only if you were directly quoting. And, as per Wikipedia:What the Good article criteria are not, asking for information that does not exist (and I trust that you've searched high and low for this information) falls beyond what is asked of GA.

I would add the New Orleans part back in just because otherwise it suggests (which is not supported by the source) that he went to high school in Peoria (or you could just add it as a note that this particular source says NOLA).

The only other fix I can see is that, in "Sing Sing", I'd change "He went through a tryout" to "He tried out" just to cut some extra verbiage. Once those two alterations are made, I'll be happy to pass the article! — Ghost River 19:41, 20 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@GhostRiver: I've made those changes to the article. Thanks for your help! Eagles 24/7 (C) 19:52, 20 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your quick response, passing now! — Ghost River 20:02, 20 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]