Talk:Al MacInnis/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Canada Hky (talk) 19:27, 20 May 2011 (UTC)
No issues with the quick-fail criteria. I have fixed a few minor typos as I came across them, and will place any comments I have below. Canada Hky (talk) 19:27, 20 May 2011 (UTC)
I have made a few tweaks to sentences here or there, if you feel they were not needed or muddied things up, feel free to revert. Canada Hky (talk) 19:50, 20 May 2011 (UTC)
Comments
[edit]Early life
[edit]"The six brothers all played hockey in Port Hawkesbury during the winter." - there is no earlier mention of their being six boys in the family. Possibly "MacInnis and his five brothers..." or clarify that there were six boys earlier.
- done
Junior
[edit]- How many goals did Fogarty have to break the record?
- 47, added.
- Does the record for five goals in a game still stand? Is he the only player to have scored five goals in a CHL game, or is it a defenceman specific record?
- fixed
Calgary Flames
[edit]- I changed up the wording a bit regarding his All-Star awards, trying to get rid of post-season, as it brings to mind "playoffs" rather than "after season".
St. Louis Blues
[edit]- "He played in six additional All-Star Games as a member of the Blues,[37] the team retired his jersey number 2 on April 9, 2006,[38] and honoured him with a bronze statue out front of the Scottrade Center in 2009." - presumably, you want to keep the digit "2" for his jersey number, but the mixing of "six" and "2" in a sentence is awkward. I tried to come up with something better, and short of three choppy sentences failed miserably.
- I added the ASG appearances into the previous sentence, breaking this up.
Playing style
[edit]- "In his first full season with the Flames, MacInnis fired a slapshot from just outside the Blues' zone that struck goaltender Mike Liut on the mask." - approximately how far is that for readers unfamiliar with the dimensions of a hockey rink? Also "fired" is not the most encyclopedic term possible.
- reworded "fired". As to approximate distance, I can't say I know where the blue lines sat in the early 80s. I could only guess. I threw a link to ice hockey rink to all such a reader the opportunity to gain a general understanding of the distance.
- Are any of his shot speeds from ASG competitions available?
- Added an example.
Other issues
[edit]- Is there any further off-ice information available? Family, charity work, etc?
- This is something I have been looking for. I definitely hope to find more ahead of a possible FAC nomination.
Other than these issues, there were the minor changes I mentioned I have made. It's a very nice article. When these issues have been addressed, I think a GA is in order. I will place the article on hold for now. Canada Hky (talk) 19:50, 20 May 2011 (UTC)
- Should all be addressed now. Thanks! Resolute 18:53, 24 May 2011 (UTC)
Indeed, everything has been addressed, there are no issues with references or images, so I will set this to good article status! Thanks for your help! Canada Hky (talk) 23:14, 24 May 2011 (UTC)