Talk:Al-Altan/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 15:30, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: AirshipJungleman29 (talk · contribs) 16:17, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Generalissima (talk · contribs) 17:24, 25 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Ah screw it I'll take this one too. Should be done in the next few days. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 17:24, 25 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Generalissima, much appreciated. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 10:55, 28 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lede is solid, and follows LEDECITE with a citation used to clarify the different versions of her name.
The parenthetical statement in early life might work better as a footnote.
Later life and death is well-written.
Are Salindi and Ögünch also potentially sons or stepsons of Al-Altan? If so, it might be better to introduce them all as such at first so the rest of that paragraph seems more connected.
- I mean yes, but isn't that explicit from "brother"? I didn't want to say "who was either a son or stepson" three times.
but they did not marry before Genghis's death because Barchuk had a cherished wife at home—the Mongols would have been taken that as an insult! is fun but leans into editorializing a little bit. I would tone it down.
- :( done
I don't think as noted above is needed at the end.

Images are both good and properly licensed, with alt-text. Stable and neutral as far as I can see. Source check to come. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 18:30, 29 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source review:

Atwood p. 456, 416-418, and 363 checks out.
Broadbridge 2018 cites all check out - except cite 26, which is missing a page number. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 04:20, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@AirshipJungleman29: Shouldn't be too much to correct. Generalissima (talk) (it/she)

Thanks for the review Generalissima; just one point above. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 11:31, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Ok fair point on the brother thing. Everything looks good to me. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 15:30, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.