Talk:Afghan Commando Forces/Archives/2024/June
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Talk
descriptions AfghanParatrooper19891 (talk) 03:29, 4 May 2024 (UTC)
- Send your social media I wanna talk to you about something Kosa6814 (talk) 22:29, 21 May 2024 (UTC)
- You keep asking this… and when I give you it you never reply. AfghanParatrooper19891 (talk) 23:25, 21 May 2024 (UTC)
Content assessment
@AfghanParatrooper19891: This is a detailed article but in order to be assessed as high as B class, the following edits should be made: Citations need to be provided where there are now citation needed tags. The lead needs to be expanded beyond one sentence and provide a summary of the main points in the article.
There are two sentences that I think need to be clarified. (1) "A year later, in 1975, 444th Commando would be sent to Panjshir Valley in order to quell an uprising started by Ahmad Shah Massoud (then-22 years old) and Gulbuddin Hekmetyar, being assisted by the Iranian SAVAK and the Pakistani ISI" Did the Iranians and Pakistanis aid the 444th Commando or the forces of Massoud and Hekmetyar? If the 44th, I think the phrase "being assisted...." should be moved after the word "Commando." If the insurgents, I suggest changing "being assisted" to "who were assisted." (2) "The Commando Brigades were, in contrast, considered reliable...." What is this "in contrast" to? This does not seem to follow directly from the preceding text. Could "in contrast" even be eliminated? This paragraph also seems to be a good point to insert another subsection heading to separate a long section devoted to the First and Second Battles of Zhawar, since the remainder of the text in that subsection is about subsequent events.
If you are satisfied with the assessment, you can leave the article as it is. I would still encourage you to make the two suggested clarifications.
Donner60 (talk) 04:38, 5 June 2024 (UTC)
- I appreciate your reply and I will make these changes once I am ready. Thank you for your helpful reply! AfghanParatrooper19891 (talk) 16:41, 5 June 2024 (UTC)
- The source states the commandos were “in contrast” more effective than the actual Afghan Army at the time. AfghanParatrooper19891 (talk) 16:42, 5 June 2024 (UTC)