Talk:Adrenal crisis/GA3
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Nominator: IntentionallyDense (talk · contribs) 04:13, 3 September 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: DoctorWhoFan91 (talk · contribs) 06:36, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
I'll take this one. Expect remarks in a few hours. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 06:36, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
I'll go section by section.
Lead
[edit]- Remove the technical terms in parenthesis- the lead does not have to be technical
Signs and symptoms
[edit]- In an adrenal crisis, hypotension occurs due to hypocortisolism and is secondary to hypovolemia.: What does this mean? Done
- Does this look better? IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
Diagnosis
[edit]- First para is slightly confusing, and reads kind of like a manual, rephrase. Done
- Does this look better? IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
Prevention
[edit]- which is a serious cause for concern.: I'm not sure if this is encyclopaedic. Done
- Removed. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
- Use different words than "should" for most/all instances; should here and in the article as a whole makes it sound like a manual most of the time Done
Treatment
[edit]- along with suppress antidiuretic hormone: typo? Done
- Changed wording to make clearer. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
Outlook
[edit]- People with hypoadrenalism are more likely to die from adrenal crises; the death rate from adrenal crises can amount to 6% of crisis events: huh? rephrase Done
- Rephrased, hopefully that is clearer. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
Epidemiology
[edit]all fine
Special Populations
[edit]- Older adults frequently experience falls and fractures, which may be linked to postural hypotension, especially in those who have primary adrenal insufficiency.: rephrase to center primary adrenal insufficiency Done
- I'm not 100% sure what you meant by this but I rephrased it as
Older adults, especially those who have primary adrenal insufficiency, frequently experience falls and fractures, which may be linked to postural hypotension.
IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
- Older people ... the same population.: Merge these paragraphs, too small alone Done
- Most cases of adrenal insufficiency in pregnancy are identified before conception.: Rephrase, I understand what it means, but in pregnancy and before conception is just jarring Done
- I just removed the "in pregnancy" part as it seems a bit unneeded. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
- It has been estimated that 5–10 episodes of adrenal crisis occur for every 100 patient-years in those with adrenal insufficiency: What is this sentence trying to say? Done
- Is this better? IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
Mechanism
[edit]half-life meaning that: comma between life and meaning
- it effects: "this effects" will be better
- Done both. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
References
[edit]They look fine.
Causes
[edit]- An absolute or relative lack of cortisol, causes adrenal crises as there is not enough tissue glucocorticoid activity to preserve homeostasis.[10]: Remove, I think this got accidently repeated here
- congenital disorders such as: or congential disorders... (also, is everything after this until the period an example?) Done
- Changed wording and yes everything after that is congenital. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
- haemochromatosis have been known: .. have also been known... Done
- in rectal, paraspinal, intradermal, intraarticular, injectable, nasal, inhaled, or topical preparations.: I think some of the easier ones(intradermal, intraarticular) can use their common terms and the technical one in brackets Done
- insipidus are more likely: are even more likely Done
- for hydrocortisone.: Mention why that would lead to decrease in cortisol Done
- Added
since hydrocortisone is being metabolized faster
, does that look better? IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)- Good enough
Spot-check
[edit]Doing a double check on every 8th ref in general (deeper than my usual, due to the reasons brought up in GA1 and GA2)
- Ref-1: Acute adrenal insufficiency ... Also Known As Addisonian crisis, ... adrenal crisis ...
- Ref-9: predominant clinical features of adrenal crisis include hypotension and hypovolaemia (the whole article really)
- Ref-17: Patients with an adrenal crisis often present with gastrointestinal symptoms, Chronic gastrointestinal symptoms are more prevalent in AI patients compared to controls
- Ref-25: provision of devices, such as a MedicAlert bracelet or necklace ... when patients cannot communicate verbally.
- Ref-33: 200 mg (50–100 mg/m2 for children) of hydrocortisone/24 hours (via continuous iv therapy or 6 hourly injection)
- Ref-41: Both absolute (sBP < 100 mm Hg) and relative (>20 mm Hg lower than usual sBP) are considered indicative of an AC but ... unable to assess relative hypotension ... affected the estimation of hypotension in older patients especially, given the elevation in blood pressure with increasing age.
- Ref-50: The diagnosis of adrenal insufficiency in pregnancy is relatively rare ... diagnosis can be challenging as many of the symptoms overlap with normal symptoms of pregnancy.
- Ref-56: deaths among children in hospital due to an AC were found to be very uncommon
Overall
[edit]- It's long, might take some time, but having read GA1 and GA2, should pass easily. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 07:58, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
- Some more sections reviewed. Just phrasing issues, more or less. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 15:50, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
- Review done, IntentionallyDense. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 16:48, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
- I'll pass it later in the day after a second read-through. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 07:54, 31 October 2024 (UTC)
- Sounds good, thanks! IntentionallyDense (talk) 15:00, 31 October 2024 (UTC)
- Did the spot check, IntentionallyDense, everything looks great. Well done, a very great article. Congratulations, keep up the good work! DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 18:09, 31 October 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you! You as well! IntentionallyDense (talk) 18:15, 31 October 2024 (UTC)
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