Talk:Adams River (British Columbia)/GA1
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Reviewer: ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:01, 19 January 2011 (UTC)
- The lede should be two evenly spaced paragraphs, not one big one and two stubs *Rewritten
- The opening sentence is rather boring. "Adams River is a river" - the first five words don't draw me in well ;) Is there anything special about it? Even the mention of "Shuswap Lake" means nothing to me without any context. *Rewritten
- I also notice the article never mentions the length of the river. That should definitely be mentioned somewhere *Done
- More importantly, I notice that the entire content of the article (below the table of contents) is about the salmon run *Re-org with eye to staying on-topic
- "it then issues as the Lower Adams River entering the extreme western end of Shuswap Lake" - that whole clause makes little to no sense. I'm guessing a comma is needed after "River", but I'm not really sure what you're trying to get across. Also, the "issues" really trips me up. *Rewritten
- "The Adams passes through Upper Adams River Provincial Park and Roderick Haig-Brown Provincial Park" - needs a source *Done
- "Two recent historical events" - I'd hardly call 1913 "recent" * section rewritten
- "These events did end the sockeye runs on the Upper Adams and the nearby Salmon River, but the Lower Adams was able to slowly recover." - needs a source *Rewritten
- "at the outlet of the Lower Adams" - I think a better term could be used than "outlet" Done
- "he second was a massive rockslide caused during the construction of the Canadian Northern Railway that partially blocked the Fraser River at Hell's Gate in 1913" - what does that have to do with Adams River? *rewritten
- "4,000 km" - needs imperial conversion *Done
Overall, the article is in fairly poor shape and in need of some serious work. I'm assuming the river is quite short. If so, I recommend merging it with Adams Lake, which is more substantial (maybe make a tributaries section). Otherwise, given how much it talks about the salmon, it should be merged with the Sockeye salmon article, considering how much is about the lifespan of the salmon, and not about the river. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to fail the GAN. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:01, 19 January 2011 (UTC)
- Hopefully have balanced salmon info with history, physical info, expanded ecology. I have not gone with the merge suggestions. The river is far more notable thant the lake, and its watershed covers a significant area. Have whittled the salmon info down to what is specifically relevant to riv. The Interior (Talk) 00:00, 21 March 2011 (UTC)