Talk:Adam Gray

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Work out the issues with this WP:BLP on the talk page, not by edit warring. Dreadstar ☥ 05:30, 14 October 2014 (UTC)

Recent edits

One example of the problem. Dev Team 6 wrote "Assemblymember Gray secured funding from the Governor’s Office of Emergency Services to provide the necessary repairs to restore service to the city" But the source simply says that the public works superintendent phoned the county supervisor "who contacted Gray’s office to help secure state emergency drought funding to repair Le Grand’s wells. Gray said his role was to bring the situation to the state’s attention and make sure the agencies could act. “This community had an emergency situation,” Gray said. “Let’s get in front of a crisis and solve the problem, and that’s what we did here.” That really is not the same thing. He was one of a number of people who performed their normal roles. That was part of his role. Trivial but reported in detail. Then we see Gray " supported maintaining the state’s contribution" to something. That's really not encyclopedic and it certainly looks promotional. Dougweller (talk) 09:50, 14 October 2014 (UTC)

Dougweller I understand your point about supporting something not sounding encyclopedic. I appreciate that and will remove that section. The other point I am not as clear on. The article uses the word "secured" to describe Gray's role in obtaining the funding. The other players in the article are not state representatives and Gray was the state connection between getting money state money for a city government. I would appreciate clarification here. Thanks so much for moderating this. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Dev Team 6 (talk • contribs) 22:03, 15 October 2014 (UTC)

There were many other problems with your last version of the article, some more substantial, some less so:

1. You said that Gray received the "unusual honor" of being named the outstanding legislator of the year by the CRPA. Nowhere in the source does it say it's "unusual". You also said that it had been a decade since an Assembly democrat had received the award. I didn't find that in the source, either.
2. You said that Gray was a "key negotiator" with Brown. The first source is not found, and the second doesn't say that. I didn't bother looking at the third.
3. I don't see any mention of a recession in the sources related to the special education school.
4. Too many local sources. Gray is a legislator in Washington, D.C. To justify inclusion in the article, it would be better if the material were important enough to be noted in non-local sources. The mobile home part material is hardly notable.
5. I don't see why you need to note that Gray supported the FFA funding. Legislators support and don't support lots of things. Why this one? What reliable sources make it worthy of inclusion?

I didn't look at the rest as it's tedious to go through every piece of material (you added far too much, which makes it much harder to evaluate). You also need to learn more about Wikipedia. The formatting is not good. Example: you need to learn how to create WP:FOOTNOTEs rather than put bare links in the body.--Bbb23 (talk) 22:32, 15 October 2014 (UTC)

Stupid me, Dev Team 6. I've struck parts of my comments. Nonetheless, it would be better if you could provide more primary California sources, major newspapers in large urban areas, perhaps reliable sources in Sacramento. As for footnotes, in my view it's better to use templates like {{cite news}} and fill in the appropriate fields. Some don't like the templates because they have to be resolved by the software and include the same information but without the templates. I'm too lazy. Even using footnotes as you now did below, bare URLs are not considered best. There's a lot to learn. It might be better to have your proposed version on a draft in your user space rather than here. The good part about having it here is it's easier to see, but having that much article material here, as well as the refs, is mildly problematic, IMHO.--Bbb23 (talk) 23:30, 15 October 2014 (UTC)

Another generalized comment, Dev Team 6: the proposed article reads too much like a resume. Rather than using bulleted lists, it would be better if most of the material was prose. I also converted one of your refs to a templated ref to give you a model of one way to do it.--Bbb23 (talk) 00:22, 16 October 2014 (UTC)

You learn quickly. Dates in an article about an American should be m-d-y. I'm not going to change them (too tedious). There's a script for doing it but it doesn't work well on a talk page. I'm going to make a few more copy edits, mostly improvements in formatting and some changes that comply with Wikipedia's manual of style.--Bbb23 (talk) 07:01, 16 October 2014 (UTC)

Proposed Compromise Version

I have tired to take the concerns expressed from all parties into account with this version. I have tried to adjust the tone and maintain the information the other poster had added to the page. This is a good faith effort to provide notable information on the page. I am happy to work with anyone on areas where you would like to see adjustments.

Early life and education

According to Gray's state website, he was born and raised in Merced working at his grandfather's local business, Merced Dairy Supply. He graduated from Golden Valley High School and then attended Merced Community College before earning his bachelor's in political science from University of California at Santa Barbara.

Early career

According to Gray's state website, he returned to Merced to work with then Assemblymember, and former Congressman, Dennis Cardoza. At the time, farmers were plagued with soaring energy prices, rolling blackouts, low rainfall and low-cost imports flooding the market. Gray helped exempt fuel and farm equipment from the state sales tax, otherwise known as the “Tractor Tax,” which encouraged farmers to upgrade their equipment and save jobs. He also worked on legislation to provide tax incentives to small businesses, and to protect family farms from scrap metal theft. He also worked on legislation that provides tax credits to first-time homebuyers and protects homeowners against fraudulent loan modifications.

In July 2013, Gray testified in the federal investigation involving the public corruption charges against state Sen. Ron Calderon, D-Montebello.

In August 2014, Gray paid a $2,000 fine for failing to report a non-monetary gift made to his campaign in 2011 by the Yocha Dehe Wintun Nation.

Legislative career

Gray first assumed office in the California State Assembly in November 2012. He defeated his opponent by a margin of 58.2% - 41.8%. In the 2014 primary election, Gray received 95.3% of the vote.

In October 2013, Gray was cited by multiple sources for assisting the residents of a mobile home park in Santa Nella, California. When a fire destroyed the power source for more than 30 homes, Gray organized an effort with local electrical workers to have the necessary parts and labor donated to restore power.

In June 2014, Gray helped to organized a bipartisan group, including Republican Senator Anthony Cannella and Merced Superintendent of Public Schools Steve Gomes, to ensure state funding came through to build a new special education school in Merced. Gray was honored as a special guest when the project broke ground on August 15, 2014.

In July 2014, Gray was credited as bringing attention to Merced and Stanislaus Counties when he pushed for Tesla Motors to build a multibillion dollar “Giga-Factory” at two locations in Atwater and Patterson, California.

In September 2014, Gray was named the California Rifle and Pistol Association (CRPA) - Outstanding Legislator of the Year. CRPA Executive Director John Fields said, “Assemblymember Gray has gone above and beyond to protect gun owners and hunters, and that is why we are recognizing him for his many accomplishments in his continued defense of the Second Amendment.” The association cited Gray's introduction of AB 1545 "a law that helps citizens retroactively report private-party transfers of firearms" and opposition to SB 53 "which required ammunition vendors to obtain a permit from the Department of Justice" as reason for the award.

In October 2014, after multiple sources reported abusive Americans with Disabilities lawsuits were occurring in Merced and Stanislaus Counties, Gray pledged to organize a local working group to identify the problem and elicit feedback from the community in order to draft new legislation for introduction in 2015.

As chair of the Joint Legislative Audit Committee between 2012 and 2014, Gray oversaw the approval of numerous audits on issues ranging from the University of California’s “Rape Culture” and inappropriate fiscal management at the California Department of Parks and Recreation, to false and abusive claims under the Medi-Cal Drug Rehabilitation Program and negligent misconduct at Child Protective Services agencies.

Legislative history

• AB 793 – Merced Irrigation District Electricity Rates. Gray and Cannella jointly introduced legislation to ensure Merced Irrigation District customers did not experience electricity rate increases resulting from new hydro-electric power regulations. The legislation was signed into law which prohibits new regulations from increasing the prices paid by MID energy customers from New Exchequer Dam.

• ACR 154 – Modesto City Schools’ World Geography World Religions Class. Gray introduced legislation to bring recognition to the efforts of Modesto City Schools' course in world geography and religions. According to The Modesto Bee, "the district is believed to be the only public school district in the nation to require a class on world religions." The Bee goes on to say that "California Assembly Concurrent Resolution 154 applauds the course for its effectiveness against bullying of Sikh children and other faith groups, and recommends it be considered by school districts statewide."

• AB 1545 – Gun Owner Protection. Gray introduced legislation to provide otherwise law abiding gun owners with a path to register guns that were obtained or transferred without the facilitation of a licensed dealer. The bill allows gun owners to voluntarily declare their firearm for late registration, provided they are not on the DOJ’s prohibited persons list or otherwise barred from owning a firearm.

• AB 1004 and AB 2121 – Law Enforcement Efficiency. Gray introduced AB 1004 (2013) and AB 2121 (2014) which expedited the process of obtaining an arrest warrant for a criminal not in custody and ensured paroled sex offenders do not circumvent the GPS monitor used by law enforcement to track their whereabouts respectively.

Personal life

Gray lives in Merced with his wife Cadee.

Comments on the above

Minor points - if you want to use Gray's website for factual material you have to say "according to Gray's website" - otherwise we need independent sources. We also don't use our own articles as sources.

More major points - still too much routine trivia. And a bit of misuse of sources. The 'rape culture' bit doesn't actually mention Gray other than to quote him. I'm not saying the sentence is wrong, just that it is both trivial and his chairmanship isn't in that source. I already mentioned the "in June 2014, after the city of Le Grand, California, reported the failure of two of the city’s three primary water wells, Gray helped to secured state funding to provide the necessary repairs." You claim the article uses "secured". It doesn't. It does say he helped - but again, so? "In June 2014 Gray did his job of communicating with the state government to help secure funding..." Would you be happy with that and if not why not?

He supported a bond? Again, this is an encyclopedia, not a publicity page for Gray.

Recognition by the California Rifle and Pistol Association - in other words, he was lobbying for them. How is that encyclopedic unless he was opposing the legislation passed this year to prevent the mentally unstable from carrying guns? Shall we use this source[1] which mentions his vote on the bill? If we are going to mention this recognition then we need to point out why he got it. " he voted against allowing families to request guns be taken from mentally disturbed relatives and against requiring fluorescent colors for realistic replica guns."[2]

Ditto "Gray drafted a bipartisan letter". So?

Don't get me wrong, If I were in his constituency I'd vote for him despite his gun votes, but the article needs to exclude the routine stuff and give context where there might be controversy. Almost everything he does will end up in the media, but that's not reason to have it in the article. Dougweller (talk) 09:40, 16 October 2014 (UTC)

Adding to Doug's commments, anything that even comes close to copyright violation is not permitted. That includes close paraphrasing of the source's text. Thus, for example, If I saw the religion material in an article, I would just remove it as it's almost verbatim what is said in the source.

Also, more about CRPA. A good rule of thumb at Wikipedia is an award is notable only if there is an article here, either about the award or about the organization giving the award.

The unsourced portion about his early life and education. Do you really mean both grandfathers? Also, I'm going to pare down some of it because it's silly. We don't need to say he attended public schools (it's obvious). Also, it doesn't matter that he was in the first graduating class of a high school; it's trivial. Finally, did he graduate UCSB?

Overall, I'd like to see some material that discusses Gray himself rather than those things he works on, that analyzes him as a politician and as a legislator. Very few politicians are as saintly as the proposed article makes him. Even the fine is pretty commonplace; it's hardly a black mark against him.--Bbb23 (talk) 14:17, 16 October 2014 (UTC)

Dougweller: I have tried to address each of your concerns. You are correct about the Le Grand article using the word secured. I don't know what I was thinking =) I have removed the Le Grand, bond, and pollution letter parts, as I think that will just make like easier for everyone. I have also noted that the biography source is from Gray's state website as you suggested.

The CRPA part I used reason for the award language from the source as you suggested.

The only section I have not changed is the part about audits. Gray served as the chair of the joint legislative audit committee during his first term in office. I think it is relevant to note the high profile audits that went through the committee during this time. Obviously we don't want to mention every single audit, but I chose the audits I found to have had the most coverage. Would adding additional sources address your concerns?

Bbb23: I gave credit to the Modesto Bee in the religion part to address your concerns. The wording in the Bee is actually from the bill Gray passed. If my changed do not address your concerns, could we cite the actual text of the bill instead of the Bee? Also, good catch on the multiple grandfathers =) And thanks so much for giving the article a paring down. I actually just called Gray's office about the graduation thing. They said the first time he ran he had not graduated yet, but that he has now graduated. Thanks for the heads up on logging in. Sorry about that Bbb23.

About your last point, other than Gray's own website, and an endorsement from one of the local papers, I cannot find a source that discusses Gray, just the issues he's worked on. I am hesitant to use the endorsement language, because it is obviously in support of him, saying things like he "has been working hard". If it addresses your concern I can certainly try to add something like that, but I don't know if it is appropriate. Let me know what you think. Dev Team 6 (talk) 18:29, 16 October 2014 (UTC)

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Orphaned references in Adam Gray

I check pages listed in Category:Pages with incorrect ref formatting to try to fix reference errors. One of the things I do is look for content for orphaned references in wikilinked articles. I have found content for some of Adam Gray's orphans, the problem is that I found more than one version. I can't determine which (if any) is correct for this article, so I am asking for a sentient editor to look it over and copy the correct ref content into this article.

Reference named "SoSPrimary":

• From John Duarte (politician): "June 7, 2022, Primary Election United States Representative" (PDF). California Secretary of State Shirley Weber. 2022-06-25.
• From 2022 United States House of Representatives elections in California: "June 7, 2022, Primary Election United States Representative" (PDF). California Secretary of State Shirley Weber. 2022-06-25.

I apologize if any of the above are effectively identical; I am just a simple computer program, so I can't determine whether minor differences are significant or not. AnomieBOT⚡ 23:31, 8 December 2022 (UTC)