Talk:Act on National Flag and Anthem/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Ironholds (talk) 22:48, 2 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lede

Could you link "flag" and "anthem" to the relevant articles the first time they appear outside the title?

Provisions

Link "prefectural" for those people less knowledgeable about the Japanese regional government than you and I.

Background of the legislation

"a suicide" - "the suicide".
"The LDP and the Komeito (CGP) were the main supporters of the bill, the Social Democratic Party (SDPJ) and Communist Party (CPJ) were opposed to the bill and the Democratic Party of Japan (DPJ) could not develop party consensus on it. " - inline citation?
"The DPJ decided to offer an amendment to the bill. The text of the amendment was to designate only the Nisshouki as the national flag and to not give Kimigayo any special status." - "The DPJ decided to offer an amendment to the bill which designated the Nisshouki as the national flag but gave the Kimigayo no special status."
"It was decided on the 16th of July for the DPJ to issue their amendment to call only for the Hinomaru to be the national flag of Japan. If this amendment was rejected, the members of the party would be allowed to vote at their own discretion." - "On 16 July it was decided that the DPJ would issue their amendment; if this was rejected, the party members would be allowed an unwhipped vote", linking "whip".
"Other groups decided to issue their own bills to combat against the government; all alternative legislation from the DPJ and other parties were rejected before the main vote on the bill." - "Other groups also issued their own bills against the government's legislation; they were all rejected before the main vote on the bill."
I'd suggest the "competing legislation" header is unneeded.

Misc

"16 July" or "July 16" but not "16th July"; see WP:MOSDATE.
"This was one of major steps Japan has taken before the dawn of the 21st century according to Obuchi." - "according to Obuchi, this was one of Japan's biggest moves before the start of the 21st century".
"When asked at a press conference on his birthday (December 23rd), Emperor Akihito declined to state his personal opinion about the symbols due to the passage of the law." - "When asked at a press conference on his birthday (December 23rd), Emperor Akihito declined to give his personal opinion about the passage of the law.

I seemed to have snagged everything. The only thing I did not place in the article is the unwhipped vote: whip voting is not a term used in Japanese politics. It is either party vote or free vote. I decided to use free vote since that is the term the DPJ themselves used in their press releases. User:Zscout370 ^{(Return Fire)} 19:26, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]