Talk:Abu Taghlib/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ed! (talk · contribs) 17:45, 18 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The date of birth and death don't appear in the lead, and should.
Origin section: Is there any idea of the year in which he may have been born? Also, any familial information should be included outright, including how many brothers and half-brothers he is known to have had. I also see an uncle mentioned, maybe those larger family relations could also be noted.
"Consequently, Nasir al-Dawla was now increasingly eclipsed by his sons, and was deposed outright and exiled in 967, dying in captivity shortly after." -- He was deposed by his sons? How did that work?
Reign: "Hamdan was the only son of Nasir al-Dawla to protested his deposition and refused to recognize his brother. " -- This sentence doesn't sound right.
"Bakhtiyar and Abu Taghlib were defeated in battle by 'Adud al-Dawla, who then advanced on Mosul." -- Any details on this battle?
You mention his family in passing. Can any details be noted on wives or children?
Duplicate link tool shows no problems, Dablink tool shows no disambiguations, and checklink tool shows no problem with external references.

Placing the article on hold pending the above improvements. —Ed!^(talk) 18:11, 18 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Ed and thanks for the review! On points 1 and 2, AFAIK, Abu Taghlib's birth date is not known. Instead of burdening the article with an outline of his family, I made a family tree. On Nasir al-Dawla's deposition, his prestige had obviously diminished during the latest round of war with the Buyids, and there is a suggestion in Ibn Khallikan that he was thrown into depression and apathy by the news of Sayf al-Dawla's death. Abu Taghlib was reportedly enraged when his father tried to disinherit him, but the stories are contradictory. As to how it worked, Nasir al-Dawla was simply taken captive one night and imprisoned. Should I go into more detail here? On point 4, I fixed it. On 5, not really. I added location and date, as well as the fact that Bakhtiyar was captured and executed, but that is about it. On his own family, I'll try to find more, but the information is rather scarce and scattered in isolated references. Constantine ✍ 15:28, 19 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Great work. Definitely understand the difficulty of information from this era, with so much of it based on hearsay and legends. I'm passing the article for GA now. —Ed!^(talk) 00:07, 20 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]