Talk:Abu Dhabi/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: ColonelHenry (talk · contribs) 04:51, 29 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Having lived in the UAE, I look forward to reviewing this article. --ColonelHenry (talk) 04:51, 29 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

I assert that I do not think this article ready at this time to be promoted to good article status. I think a substantial amount of work needs to be done to improve it to meet or exceed the good article criteria sufficiently. I believe this article is on the verge of being a B-class article, or at least a higher-quality C-class article. I do not believe this work is possible during an "on hold" week or two and that such preparation will take a longer period of time. I therefore have chosen to fail this article and invite the contributors to take the time to improve and then renominate.

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:
The prose quality would be good, but the content is not comprehensive or substantive. Some sections are badly written ("Origins of the Al-Nahyan family" left me disappointed in seeing sentences like "This family makes up the rulers of Abu Dhabi today" when there are better ways of saying this..and more precise verbs than the rather pedestrian "makes up".) There are many statements made without supporting explanation and leave a reader to ask "why" or "how" such a conclusion can be drawn without more explanation. Sections in History do not provide enough information--enough "meat" to explain or keep people interested. As someone who has lived in and has several years of business dealings in UAE, I knew more information about Abu Dhabi than was present in the article and I noticed significant aspects not discussed. Examples include insufficient coverage of city life, specific information about various expatriate communities (since they are about 70%-80% of the city), religious life, large swaths of history, and culture not present. Parks and gardens only has a one-sentence section. This is not adequate for a city with 2,000 such public spaces. I believe the article suffers from an inefficient organization. Too many sections that could be combined (suggested organization below).

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
I believe the lede is sufficient. I think there are issues regarding lists (esp. "Neighborhoods" that can be addressed in a prose summary and a "see also" hatnote for the section directing a reader to a list at another location (e.g. "List of neighborhoods in Abu Dhabi") I think layout can be improved as suggested below. Some of the "See also" hatnotes are placed on the bottom of sections, not the top.
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:
The article does have a reference section in compliance with MOS, however I assert there is a need for better citation of facts throughout the article and can be improved by sourcing more of the statements made in the article. I am not comfortable with entire multi-sentence paragraphs with only one inline citation at the end of the paragraph. This habit does not assist (and often hinders) readers looking to source specific information.

B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
see discussion for 2a regarding employing inline citations.

C. No original research:
I do not see any obvious Original Research problems.
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:
While the article does cover major aspects and has the structure for it, the article needs more content to discuss comprehensively these major aspects.

B. Focused:
some more meat and substantive focus to several sections would improve this. Though, it is a good start.
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
I do not see anything that would constitute biased writing. I believe the article is rather fair.
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
I do not see any substantial edit wars or other content disputes. There is an infrequent reverting between contributors regarding the nationalistic issue of Persian Gulf vs. Arabian Gulf that may be of concern, but does not rise (IMHO) to a level that would warrant a "no" on criteria 5. Only a handful of such edits in the last 6 months. There is very minor vandalism history by anon IP users.
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
I do not see any current copyvio issues regarding images. I believe there are a sufficient number of images to adequately depict the subject discussed. There have been copyvio issues with images of the Sheikh Zayed Mosque in the last 6 months. I do not have the previous images to compare.

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
as above in 6a
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
Failed for reasons discussed in comments above. A week or two on hold will not be sufficient to address these concerns adequately.

Suggested Article Reorganization

1.0 History

1.1 Etymology of "Abu Dhabi"
1.2 Prehistoric and early civilizations
1.3 Origin of the Al Nahyan family
1.4 Pearl trade
1.5 Trucial Coast and piracy
1.6 Discovery of Oil

2.0 Geography and Climate

2.1 Geology
2.2 Geographical features
2.3 Climate and weather

3.0 Politics and Governance

3.1 Branches of government
3.2 Political parties
3.3 Democratic and electoral reforms
3.4 Military
3.5 Crime and law enforcement

4.0 Demographics
5.0 Cityscape

5.1 Neighborhoods of Abu Dhabi (a summary, not a list...make a separate list article)
5.2 Architecture

5.2.1 Discussion of notable buildings
5.2.2 Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque

5.3 Parks and gardens (a summary, not just a one sentence blurb)
5.4 City planning and development

6.0 Economy

6.1 Oil industry
6.2 Financial industry
6.3 Expatriate community and global businesses
6.4 Utility services

7.0 Transportation
8.0 Culture and Education

8.1 Cultural institutions (arts, museums, community groups, etc.)
8.2 Religion
8.3 Education
8.4 Tourism
8.5 Recreation

8.5.1 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

8.6 Media

9.0 International relations

9.1 Twin towns and cities

10.0 See also
11.0 References
12.0 External links