Talk:Abgig obelisk/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 00:42, 1 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

This looks like a fun article! I will get to this within seven days. Please note that I am returning to GA reviewing after an hiatus, so please WP:TROUT me if I make a mistake. Thanks, ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 00:42, 1 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the interesting read! My knowledge is with Mesopotamia, especially the Akkadians and Biblical history, but this turned out to be a very fascinating read. Anyways, I have placed this on hold for now and left my comments below. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 03:06, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@LunaEatsTuna: Thank you for the thorough review! Let me know what you think of these changes.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:13, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I like them a lot! I am now pleased to pass this wonderful article for GA status. Congrats! ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 22:41, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Copyvio

Earwig says good to go. No concerns from me either.

Files

Good to go— MadinatFayyumAbgigObelisk.jpg is under CC-BY-SA; Abgig obelisk Registers Obverse.png has a valid public domain rationale; Fayoum (Fayyûm). Vue et détails de l'obélisque de Begyg (Begig) (NYPL b14212718-1268166).jpg too has a valid public domain rationale; Obelisk von Begig edit.png and Chaaban Abgig Obelisk.png ibid.

Prose

In the lead, wikilink Register (art) for unfamiliar readers.
Done.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Wikilink Faiyum as first mention in the body.
Done.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
In the sentence containing "the obelisk was visited and described by," I would order the figures by ascending year, so have Lepsius last.
Done.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"but he was unsuccessful in his search." – how about removing he for slightly better flow?
I reworded that whole sentence to make it more compact.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"and when it was first erected, it likely stood" – same point as above, but to remove redundant usage of it.
Done.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"hardly anything remains of the monument's inscriptions or its registers" – wikilink registers and unlink their mention in § Obverse side.
Done.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Seeing as it is speculative, does the source say why Maspero and Sourouzian think that the figure was a falcon made of metal? i.e. was that a symbol of Ancient Egypt?
I'm unsure. The source only reads, "Gaston Maspero and, more recently, Hourig Sourouzian, who connects this monument with the commemoration columns of Merenptah, have suggested that it was crowned by a statue of a falcon, possibly made of a different material, perhaps metal, to that of the monument itself" (p. 375).--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I see. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 22:37, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
In the sentence starting "Of note, these deities" – are the parentheses necessary?
I reworded it and removed the parentheses.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
In the table, "Thot" links to a disambig page.
That was a typo! Fixed.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
In the königsnovelle note, I do not believe a comma should come after i.e.
This is the convention in American English. As I note below, however, I could understand switching to British English if that is seen as more appropriate.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Oh—interesting! It should be fine. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 22:37, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"and another god." – if unknown, recommend "and another unidentified god."
Done.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Not a fan of image galleries; they could easily be added as relevant under § History IMO.
I converted the gallery to a Multiple image template and placed it in the "History" section.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Looks good! ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 22:37, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Recommend adding template:Use X English
Done. (I'm American, so I used "American English", but I could see a reasonable case being made for the switch to British English.)--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Recommend adding template:Use mdy dates (or your preferred date format).
Done.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 14:12, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

References

Good to go—passes spotcheck on refs 7, 8, 16, 23 and 27.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.